On The Rocks

I look to Alyssa and plead with my eyes for her to keep her mouth shut. Confusion overtakes her face but she gives me a slight nod, and I breathe a small sigh of relief.

I turn to Casey just as she pulls a beer out of the refrigerator. “About the new project I’m doing at Last Call. A wall to hang Hunter’s trophies on.”

“Cool,” Casey says, smiling broadly and heading back out of the kitchen. “I’d stay and chat but Wyatt brought a friend of his to the party, and he’s totally hot. I’m going to go see if I can corrupt him.”

I roll my eyes as Casey saunters out and then turn to look at Hunter. “Do you mind giving Alyssa and me a moment?”

“Sure,” he says with a small smile that seems a bit sad, and then he leaves. I watch his retreating back, wondering if I’ve hurt his feelings by perpetuating this secret of ours. He certainly didn’t seem to mind when Alyssa walked in on us, but I freaked for sure.

“What the hell is going on, Gabby?”

Turning back toward Alyssa, I take her by the hand and pull her through Hunter’s house. I push her out the front door, satisfied that the porch is empty and will give us a bit more privacy since the kitchen was a little too close to the rest of the party.

I close my eyes briefly and take a deep breath. When I open them, I look at Alyssa and tell her my story, starting five years ago.

When I finish, she asks, “I don’t understand why you want to keep this secret. I think the idea of you and Hunter together is wonderful.”

Sighing, I say with defeat, “I don’t know, Alyssa. I guess I’m scared. Scared of what Casey will think, what our parents will think. I mean… we’re practically family.”

Alyssa snorts. “But you’re not family. You’re in no way related, and there is nothing wrong with you two seeing each other.”

I’m silent, chewing on my bottom lip as I look down at my feet.

“There’s something else,” Alyssa guesses.

Looking up at her, I tell her miserably. “I just don’t think I can let this amount to anything. I think sex is all I’ll let it be, and how well do you think that’s going to go over with Casey?”

“How well do you think that’s going to go over with Hunter?” Alyssa challenges me.

“What?” I ask confused. “Hunter is fine with this just being sex.”

“I don’t think so, Gabby. The way he looked at you, it just looked like a whole lot more to me.”

“Well, it’s not,” I snap. “Trust me… this is just physical.”

“Okay, put that issue aside for just a moment. I guess I don’t understand why that’s all you want.”

I take a few steps over to the porch railing and lean my elbows down on it, gazing across the street at the next row of beach houses that stand proud on their stilts. Turning to look at Alyssa, I tell her, “Because… if I let it be any more, then I’ll be crushed if this doesn’t work out. It’s safer this way.”

Alyssa stares at me silently, her face sympathetic and understanding. She takes a step closer to me, leaning her hip against the rail. “Gabby, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. I think you should open yourself up. Hunter cares for you a lot, and he could be the one.”

I snort in condescending amusement. “See… that’s just it, Alyssa. I know he’s the one. He’s been the one for me most of my life. I just don’t think that I’m the one for him. I can’t risk falling, knowing that he might not be there to catch me.”

Opening her arms up, Alyssa pulls me in for a hug and whispers in my ear. “I never took you for a coward, girl. But I respect what you’re saying.”

When she releases me, I grab onto her hand. “Promise me you won’t tell Casey.”

“I promise. But I think you should tell her. She’d understand where you’re coming from, and she’s just going to be more pissed the longer you wait.”

“I know,” I say quietly. “I just need to wrap my head around this. I’ll tell her… soon. Once I figure out what all of this with Hunter means.”