I shook my head. “It’s not therapy-worthy.”
“If it was worth lying to me about, then it’s therapy-worthy. Sort your shit out, Joss, and promise.”
“Fine,” I agreed, but only because I knew it was Rhian’s grumpy way of being a good friend.
***
Dr. Pritchard had flowers on her desk. I smiled. She had taken note.
“You lied so you wouldn’t have to spend time with Braden?”
I squirmed, wishing Rhian hadn’t held me to my promise. “Yup.”
“Before, when I asked you if you were attracted to Braden you said ‘I was’. Past tense. Were you telling the truth?”
No. “Maybe not.”
“So you are attracted to him?”
Oh what the hell… “I’ve never been attracted to anyone as much as I’m attracted to him.”
The good doctor gave me a wry smile. “Okay. But you’re avoiding him even though he’s made it perfectly clear that he’s interested in you. Are you afraid of him, Joss?”
Honestly? “Yes.”
“You have no intention of having any kind of relationship with him?”
“Were you not here when I told you about my past with guys?”
“That’s not the same thing. For a start, you know Braden.”
“I don’t want anything to do with him, alright.”
“You’ve just told me you’re extremely attracted to this man. When you talk about him, it’s clear to me you like him, so, no. I wouldn’t say you’re alright—you don’t want to want to have anything to do with him.”
“Same thing.”
“No it’s not. Why are you afraid of him, Joss?”
“I don’t know,” I retorted, pissed off with the topic and with Rhian for making me discuss it. “I just know that I don’t want to start anything with him.”
“Why not?”
Jesus C, sometimes it was like talking to a brick wall with this woman. “It would mess things up. With Ellie, with me, with him. No.”
She tilted her head to the side, her expression blank. She was good at this. “Joss, maybe it’s time to stop thinking fifty steps in front of you and just let things play out naturally.”
“The last time I did that I woke up in bed with two strange guys and no panties.”
“I told you that’s not the same thing. You’re not the same person, and Braden is not some stranger. I’m not telling you or asking you to do anything you don’t want to do, concerning Braden or otherwise. But I am suggesting you stop predicting the future and take each day as it comes. Not forever, not even for a few months. Try it for a few days, a few weeks even. I know it might be scary, but just… try.”
***
As I had been for the last few weeks I was working Saturday’s now at Club 39. Ellie had gotten home earlier around dinner time, stuffed full from the picnic, and quite willing to just sit with me while I shoveled down some food before I needed to get ready for my shift.
“So, is everything okay with Rhian?” she asked, a little furrow forming between her eyebrows.
Guilt lodged in my throat. I hadn’t felt too awful lying to Braden since his three-sixty back into predatory hottie with wicked eyes and a fuck-me smile was the sole reason I’d had to resort to lying in the first place. But lying to Ellie was a totally different ballgame and it made more than a little uneasy.
I mumbled around a mouthful of pasta, nodding and avoiding her eyes, hoping she’d get that I didn’t want to talk about it.
At her answering silence I glanced up and found her watching me curiously. I swallowed. “What?”
Ellie shrugged. “Just… when Braden was walking me home he said he thought maybe… that maybe you were lying about the call from Rhian so you could avoid the picnic.”
Jesus C, he had such an ego on him!
Never mind that he was right.
I guffawed. “What? Because of him?”
She shrugged again. “Was he right?”
More avoiding her eyes. “Nope.”
“Well, just so you know, I get the impression he’s planning something.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”
She sighed leaning back in her chair. “With Braden you never know. I’ve just learned to recognize the signs. I know my brother better than he thinks I know him. You’re under his skin, Joss. I’m actually impressed he’s been so patient. Although, that probably means he’s planning on doing whatever it takes to get you.”
I was surprised, and couldn’t pretend I wasn’t. I sat back, momentarily abandoning my food. “Under his skin? Whatever it takes?”
“As much as my brother’s sex life makes me squeamish, I sometimes can’t avoid hearing about it, and what I hear is that Braden always gets what he wants.”
I snorted. “Please, Ellie, you think I’m what he wants? I’m not exactly his type. Jocelyn Butler doesn’t come in Supermodel.”
Ellie looked adorably confused. “You’re kidding right?”