At the sound of the door opening, my eyes cracked open too, and I watched as a concerned Braden stepped inside and closed the door. Briefly I wondered why he had followed me and Ellie hadn’t. When I didn’t say anything he came closer, dropping slowly to his haunches so we were at eye level. My eyes searched his gorgeous face and for once, I wished I could break my own damn rules. I had a feeling Braden would be able to make me forget everything for a while.
We gazed at one another for what seemed like forever, not saying a word. I was expecting a lot of questions since it must have been clear to everyone, or at least the adults at the table, that I had had a panic attack. Surely, they were all wondering why, and I really didn’t want to go back out there.
“Better?” Braden finally asked softly.
Wait. Was that it? No probing questions?
“Yeah.” No, not really.
He must have read my reaction to his question in my face because he cocked his head to the side, his gaze thoughtful. “You don’t need to tell me.”
I cracked a humorless smile. “I’ll just let you think I’m bat-shit crazy.”
Braden smiled back at me. “I already knew that.” He got up, holding a hand out to me. “Come on.”
I looked at his proffered hand warily. “I think maybe I should just go.”
“And I think you should have some good food with some good friends.”
I thought of Ellie and how warm and welcoming she’d been to me. It would be an insult to walk out of her mother’s dinner and I found myself not wanting to do anything that would alienate Ellie.
Taking Braden’s hand tentatively, I let him pull me to my feet. “What will I say?” No use pretending to be cool and collected with him now. He’d already seen me at my most vulnerable. Twice.
“Nothing,” he assured me. “You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.” His smile was kind. I couldn’t decide what smile I liked more. This one, or the wicked one from before.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and followed him out. He didn’t let go of my hand until we reached the dining room, and I refused to acknowledge the bereft feeling in my chest as his touch fell away from mine.
“Are you alright, honey?” Elodie asked as soon as we walked into the room.
“A little bit of sun stroke.” Braden waved Ellie’s mom off with reassurance. “She was out in the sun too long this morning.”
“Oh.” She turned her motherly concern on me. “I hope you at least wore sun screen.”
I nodded, sliding into my seat. “Just forgot to wear a hat.”
As their conversation picked up and the tension drained from the table, I ignored Ellie’s suspicious glances and shot Braden a grateful smile.
6
By the end of the dinner I was a little more relaxed, although looking forward to getting home and being alone for a while. Determined not to be taken unaware again, I put back up that wall between me and my memories and tried to enjoy the Nichols’ company. It wasn’t hard. They were an easy group to like.
My plans for being alone were foiled by Braden and Ellie who were meeting up with Adam for drinks. I tried to get out of going with them but Ellie wasn’t having it. It was like she sensed I was going home to brood or something.
After bidding the Nichols a goodbye and promising Elodie I’d be back, we headed out to grab a cab to take us back to the apartment so I could pick up my purse. I only had my cell on me and was determined nobody – as in Braden – was buying me drinks tonight, but me. The less I was in this guy’s debt the better.
As the cab drew up to the apartment, a tall, lanky figure sitting on our front stoop made my chest tighten. Heart racing, I jumped out of the cab first, hurrying over to James who stood up, his duffle bag kicked at his feet. Large dark circles plagued his eyes, his face was drawn and pale, the corners of his mouth tight with pain and anger.
“Just tell me one thing. Did you encourage her to leave me?”
Taken aback by all the bristling anger directed at me, I shook my head numbly, taking a wary step toward him. “James, no.”
He pointed his finger at me, his mouth twisted with bitterness. “The two of you are so fucked up… you had to have had a hand in this somewhere.”
“Hey.” Braden stepped in front of me, calm but intimidating as he spoke to James, “Back off.”
“Braden, it’s okay.” I gazed back at Ellie who was standing watching us wide-eyed. Eyes pleading with her I gestured at Braden. “You two go on ahead without me.”
“I don’t think so.” Braden shook his head, his eyes never straying from James.
“Please.”
“Braden.” Ellie tugged on his elbow. “Come on. Let’s give them some privacy.”
Annoyance burning in his eyes, Braden grabbed my cell out of my hand and started playing with it.
“Wha-”
He reached for my hand and curled my fingers back around the phone. “You’ve got my number now. Call if you need me. Okay?”
I nodded dumbly. As Ellie dragged her brother away, I gazed down at the phone in my hand. Was Braden looking out for me? Was he concerned? I glanced at him over my shoulder. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something like that. It was just a little thing but…
“Joss?”