Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter TWENTY-SEVEN



Dustin sat stiff as a board on the couch in the living room of the Harris home. This was the ninth date. The ninth. And apparently everything he'd talked to Emma about on the sixth date had gone right out of her pretty little head.

The seventh date had gone well. Just dinner and a movie. Nothing fancy. But lots of talking and hand-holding. Just what he had wanted. No pressure. Just spending time with his girl, getting to know her. And then the eighth date came along and they went bowling with her parents and one other middle aged couple. It was horrible. Emma seemed perfectly at ease, but Dustin didn't know, nor care to know, any of these people. Not that they weren't nice. He just wasn't a social person and all he wanted was to be with Emma.

Now this ninth date. Family game night at the Harris home. They had just wrapped up a rousing game of Yahtzee and were now sitting back with coffee and fixing to watch It's A Wonderful Life. Emma handed him a perfectly prepared cup of coffee, cream, no sugar, just how he liked. And he wondered how the hell she already knew how he took his coffee. He set the cup on the table next to the couch.

Emma sat next to him and linked her arm with his. She was completely oblivious to his discomfort. Pastor Harris sat in his armchair with the remote. Mrs. Harris sat on the other side of Emma. Dustin felt like something was strangling him. Everywhere he looked there were bridal catalogs and parenting magazines laying on table tops or stuffed in the couch cushions like porn.

Dustin didn't know how he managed to sit through the whole movie, but after what felt like years, it was finally over. Emma was crying into his sleeve even though she'd probably seen the movie a dozen times. Mrs. Harris dabbed at her own eyes with a tissue.

"These women," Pastor Harris said to Dustin, "they cry at the drop of a hat."

Dustin forced a laugh. He started to put his arm around Emma's shoulders, but she had dried her eyes and was on her feet about to pour him another cup of coffee. "No, Emma...thank you, but no more for me."

She replaced the coffee carafe with a smile. "Would you like another piece of cake?"

"No, thank you. I think I'm going to head home." He stood before anyone could object.

Mrs. Harris stood with him. "I do hope you'll join us for our big family Christmas dinner. After all, you're practically family too, now, aren't you?"

Dustin smiled as politely as he could. "I'll see if I can make it," he said. Then he turned to Emma. "Would you walk me out?" he asked.

"Of course," she said.

Dustin couldn't believe the relief he felt getting out of that Stepford house. Everything was too perfect. Not that that was bad. He just couldn't figure it out. He needed to be able to explain it to Emma and he just couldn't put it into words.

He breathed in the cold winter air and reveled in the sting of it in his nose and lungs. It was so stuffy in that house. "Hey," he said, turning to Emma. "You want to go up to Rowdy's and have a drink?"

"To a bar?" Emma asked incredulously. "No, I don't think so. I don't think my parents would like that."

"Well I'm not dating your parents. I'm dating you."

"Yeah, but when you marry, you marry the whole family."

"F*ck, Emma!" he turned and shoved his hand through his hair. "I'm not talking about marriage. I'm talking about you and me going out for a drink and just hanging out. Like two normal people."

Emma stood there wide-eyed. "If you don't like my rules, then..."

"This has nothing to do with your rules. We'll go have coffee at Sweet Nothings, then."

"We can have coffee here...I don't understand..."

"I can't do this anymore. I can't date you if it's going to be like this," he said.

She stared up at him, those round, brown eyes filled with confusion. He saw, then, all of a sudden, just how young she was. Not just in age, but in maturity. She was sheltered. Inexperienced. And instead of leaving the nest, she was trying to bring him into it with her.

The realization hit him like a hammer to the chest and he lost his breath for a moment. "My God, Emma," he said. "You're not ready."

"What?" she asked. "Dustin, I don't understand."

"It's okay. I do. And I think we should stop seeing each other for a while," he said, his voice shaking.

She stepped toward him and took his hand. "I don't understand, Dustin. I thought things were going really well. I love you so much. And you say you love me."

He couldn't think of a way to explain to her why things weren't going well without insulting her. In the end he decided she would just have to figure it out on her own. "This just isn't working for me. I'm sorry."

Her eyes welled up with tears and her bottom lip quivered. He was still holding her hands.

"Oh, God, Emma," he said. "I'm so sorry."

"We've barely gotten started. You aren't even giving us a chance."

"I'm sorry."

"I was so sure about you. About us."

"I'm sorry, Emma."

"Stop saying that!" she said. She pulled her hands away and pressed the backs of her hands into her eyes, dashing away the tears. "Nobody's...nobody's ever broken up with me."

"Guess you've never dated an idiot like me before, huh?"

She just stood there, staring down at the ground, her eyes darting back and forth and her brow furrowed as though she were working out some complicated equation in her head.

"I've got to go, Emma."

She looked up at him, still confused. "Go, then."

God, he wanted to kiss her. Apologize and pretend like none of this had happened. But he turned and left, not looking back.





Travis and Arden knelt on the floor in his living room with Baby Emily laying on a blanket between them. Travis had thoroughly enjoyed playing house with Arden. They cooked dinner together, chicken enchiladas. And while that was baking, Arden had insisted she wanted to make a pie for him all by herself. So he'd sat on a stool at the bar and watched her make a huge mess of his kitchen. She wore jeans and one of his t-shirts, her hair back in a ponytail, covered to her elbows in flour with smudges on her face. All she had to show for it was a crust that was so crumbly she couldn't roll it out but had to pat it down into the pan. She'd done so without batting an eye as though that were the plan all along. Then she'd chopped up some apples, sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and piled more crumbly crust on top.

Travis figured that had to be the ugliest pie he'd ever seen, but he knew as soon as he bit into it, it would be his favorite pie in the whole world.

Arden had been a complete mess, so with the baby asleep in her swing, they took a baby monitor into the bathroom and showered together. Since she was still on holiday vacation, he talked her into spending the night with him. She put on some pajama pants and a white tank top that left nothing to the imagination. So when Travis got done dressing and found Arden in the living room smiling at the sleeping baby, he couldn't help but tackle her on the couch.

This led to her squealing and giggling and him shushing her and both of them waking up the baby. So they took her out of the swing, gave her a bath, powdered, diapered and dressed her--and now they were watching her kick and flail on the floor.

"Look at her stick her little tongue out," Travis said.

"I know," Arden giggled. "She's so funny."

Emily's facial expressions changed rapidly. Sometimes a smile flickered on her face, sometimes a frown. She made little clucking and gurgling noises. Travis put his finger in her hand and enjoyed the feel of that tiny hand wrapping around one of his fingers.

Arden rubbed her tummy. "Wonder how long she'll play like this?"

"You wanna sneak off to the bedroom?" he asked.

She grinned up at him. "Yes. It's probably not a good idea, though. We could be interrupted."

Travis shrugged. "I guess we could make out on the couch until she gets hungry again."

Arden nodded and they raced to the couch to see who would get to be on bottom. Arden won and Travis climbed on top of her, immediately going for those breasts. He nipped at them through her shirt and she tensed all over. She wrapped her legs around him and he pressed himself hard against her making her writhe against him.

"Let's just do it here, Travis!" she gasped. Just then he took a taut nipple between his teeth and she cried out.

"I'm not doing it here," he said. "There's the baby."

"She's just a baby. It's okay."

Travis didn't answer. But there was no way he was doing it in front of the baby. He buried his face in Arden's neck.

"Let's go to the bedroom, then. She'll be fine."

He sat up on his elbows and grinned down at her. "You make me happy," he said.

"Okay," she said, smiling. "Let's go, then."

"No. She's already starting to get fussy. We can't leave her in here alone."

She grabbed the front of his shirt. "It won't take long," she whispered dramatically.

Travis glanced at the baby. She was just kicking and grunting a bit. He looked back to Arden. "How long?"

Arden answered by arching her back and moaning.

"Okay," Travis said. "Not long. Let's go." He hopped off of her and pulled her to her feet.

But then the sound of tires on gravel interrupted them. Travis leaned forward and peeked out the blinds. Then he dashed to the front door and opened it. Dustin stumbled in, followed by Russell Murphy. Travis caught hold of Dustin's arms and stared at him. "Are you drunk?" he asked.

Dustin gently nudged Travis out of the way and then stumbled through the living room and swerved down the hall.

Travis turned to Russell. Russell shrugged. "I don't know," Russell said. "I was having a drink with Vince at Rowdy's and he was already up there about to fall off the barstool. So I dragged him on home."

"Thanks, Russ," Travis said.

Russell nodded and then left. Travis turned to find Arden sitting on the edge of the couch with her cell phone pressed to her ear.

"I know, honey...I don't know...I'm so sorry...it'll be okay...," she said intermittently. Arden glanced up at Travis and shrugged.

Travis checked to make sure the baby was still happy and then went down the hall to Dustin's room. Dustin was face down on his bed, sort of diagonal like, his feet hanging off the edge. He still had on his boots and coat.

Travis bumped the edge of the bed with his knees. Dustin wobbled but didn't move. Travis reached down and shook him, which produced a low groan of protest. "Hey!" Travis said loudly. "What happened?"

Dustin mumbled something incoherent. Travis shook him again and this time he only snored. So Travis turned off his lamp and left him there.

Arden was in Travis's room getting dressed and re-packing her overnight bag. "Whoa," Travis said. "Where you going?"

"I'm sorry, baby," she said. "Emma's a mess. Dustin broke up with her, I guess he told you."

"No. He's out cold."

"Well, anyway." She finished buttoning up her shirt and swung around to face him. "I don't know any details yet. But she asked if I'd come over. I guess I'll probably spend the night."

Travis held back his disappointment. "Of course," he said. "When he wakes up I'll kick his ass real good."

Arden grinned at him. "Wait and hear him out. He may have a good reason."

"To break up with Emma? There's no good reason for that."

She kissed him and he grabbed her to him for a moment, keeping her lips on his as long as possible.

She pulled back. "I'll miss you," she said.

"I'll miss you more," he said.

"I'll miss you the absolute most," she said.

"I'll miss you way more than that."

She laughed and kissed him again. "Someday we won't be this silly," she said.

"It's not silly," he said softly. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you, Arden."

Her eyes sparkled. She let her hands slide down his chest to his waist, seeming to enjoy the feel of him. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You bet," he said. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and he would be spending the evening with her family. She kissed him one more time and then he walked her out to her car and waved as she drove away.





Emma was sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow when Arden arrived. She went in to Emma's bedroom and closed the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Emma's back.

"If it helps any," Arden said, "Russell had to drive him home. He was hammered drunk."

Emma just sobbed louder. Arden rolled her eyes and waited patiently. When finally Emma calmed enough to talk, she said, "I just really thought he was the one, you know?"

"I know," Arden said, still rubbing her back.

Emma sat up and grabbed a box of tissues off her nightstand. "He just wasn't making any sense. I mean, one minute he says he loves me and the next he says he doesn't want to get married."

Arden pushed some hair out of Emma's face. It was sticking to her tear-soaked cheeks. "You were talking about marriage already? After only a few weeks?"

"No!" Emma shouted. "I told him and I'll tell you, I was not talking about getting married tomorrow. I was talking about getting married someday. Why should I keep secret my intentions? And don't I deserve to know what his intentions are? God, what is wrong with you people?" She fell back onto the bed and sobbed some more.

Arden stared at her stunned. "Okay," she said softly. "So you weren't pressuring him. Then why did he want out?"

"I don't know!" Emma wailed.

"Well, then," Arden said, thinking. She told herself she should just listen, but she really wanted to fix the problem. "Were there any other problems that you know of? I mean...was the sex good and all?"

Emma sobbed louder.

"It wasn't good?" Arden asked. "What was the problem?"

"There was no problem. There was no sex. I'm waiting."

"What?" Arden made the mistake of laughing.

Emma immediately stopped crying, sat up and punched her hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Arden shrieked, holding her now-throbbing shoulder.

"What does it say about you as my best friend that you didn't know this about me?" Emma asked. "I couldn't talk to you about it because I knew you'd either laugh or tell me I was being illogical or something. You're so freaking selfish!"

"Hey!" Arden stood off the bed and backed up a step, still holding her shoulder. "I know you're upset, but that's no reason to go lashing out at me. Did you ever consider that Dustin broke up with you because you wouldn't sleep with him?"

Emma's eyes narrowed and her jaw set. Arden actually felt a flicker of intimidation as Emma stood to answer her. "If he were so shallow, and so self-centered as to break up with me over my wanting to wait for marriage, I never would have allowed myself to fall in love with him. He was very supportive. And he wasn't like all the other freaks I've dated who didn't even want to have sex with me. They all just wanted some pearly white virgin to bow down to and worship. Dustin wanted me. And he promised me he'd wait as long as I said. Because he knew that I have a right to test his faithfulness before I commit my life to him."

Arden couldn't help herself. She wasn't angry. She simply felt very strongly that her best friend was extremely naive. "Are you sure that's not just what he told you in hopes that you'd eventually cave?"

A flicker of doubt crossed Emma's expression. "I trust him. He never pressured me. He loves me."

"Then why did he break up with you?"

Emma's lip started quivering again and then the tears came. She fell back to her pillow and sobbed some more.

Arden once again sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her back. Once she had calmed, Arden said, "Why don't you just invite him over, sometime, in such a way that makes him think you're going to sleep with him. And if he accepts, then you'll know that's why he broke up with you."

Emma glared up at her. "You are a horrible person."

Arden gritted her teeth. "I have feelings, too, Emma."

"Then why would you suggest such a conniving, cruel thing."

Arden threw up her hands. She stood and crossed the room, sitting on a stool in front of the vanity on the far wall. "Fine. Then why don't you just sleep with him for real and see if he sticks. It's stupid to wait anymore. Nobody else does."

"It's not stupid, Arden, just because it doesn't make sense to you. I'm waiting because I want the only man I've ever been with to be my husband. And I do it because I know if he is faithful to me by waiting, by showing the self-discipline required to wait, then he'll be faithful to me when we're married."

Arden raised one brow. "So you're saying Travis is going to cheat on me because I didn't wait?"

"No! I'm not talking about you at all. I don't care how you live your life. I don't call you stupid or a slut because you choose to have sex outside of marriage. I love you. You're my best friend and I respect your decisions for your life. Why can't I talk about my decisions without you attacking me for them? Why can't you be supportive like Dustin?"

And then she burst into tears yet again and Arden buried her face in her hands. Arden decided, not a moment too soon, that her best course of action was to keep her mouth shut. She waited while Emma finished crying. Then she went back to her bedside and apologized. The two women hugged for a couple of minutes. Emma apologized for speaking so harshly.

Then she sat back. "Do you think you could find out why he broke up with me?" she asked.

Arden sighed. "I'm sure Travis will tell me when he finds out."

"Well he's had plenty of time to talk to him. Maybe you could call him."

"I think you should let it go for tonight," Arden said. "He was very drunk."

Emma folded her hands in front of her, pressed her lips together and pleaded with her eyes.

"Fine." Arden flipped out her cell phone and called Travis.

"Yeah?" Travis answered in a semi-frantic voice. The baby was crying in the background. Very loudly.

"Sorry, Travis. Emma was just wondering if you'd had a chance to talk to Dustin."

"Well, let's see. After you left I fed the baby and then for no good reason she started screaming at me. Then Dustin got up and went straight to the bathroom and has been throwing up for the past twenty minutes. All of which time I spent walking up and down the hall bouncing this little girl. Who was finally starting to doze off when the phone rang. So...no. I haven't had a chance to talk to him."

"Jeez, Travis. Just let it go voicemail next time."

"Sorry. I love you. You're amazing. Don't call me anymore tonight."

She laughed. "Okay. If Emma doesn't need me, I'll come back over later and help out."

"I'll be your love-slave for life if you do that."

She laughed again, blushing. "Okay. Goodnight, Travis."

"'Night."

Arden tossed the phone back into her purse. She shook her head apologetically at Emma. Emma's shoulders slumped. "If you need to go back over there, I'll be fine," Emma said.

"Nonsense. Get your jammies on. We're going to locate something bad to eat and watch Julia Roberts movies all night."

Emma smiled and hugged her friend.