Curiosity got the better of me. “I want to talk to him.”
“I advise against it,” Stone started, but I shook my head. “Just for a few minutes. I want to hear what he has to say.” It would probably be a mistake, but I had to know.
Within minutes I was escorted to another small room, this one in the depths of the courthouse, where the air was cool and still, the dull buzzing of people milling about and talking dimmed, almost nonexistent. I was surrounded by deputies, two in front of me, two trailing behind me, and my lawyer walked by my side, my father’s lawyer leading the way.
Nerves ate at my gut and I tried my best to ignore the uneasy feeling that slipped over me. I could end this conversation whenever I wanted. I had no obligation to the man. He may have raised me, but he fucked me over in more ways than I could ever count and for that, I would never be able to fully forgive him.
I didn’t want to forgive him. Everything he had done was unforgivable. The man was a monster.
What frightened me the most? The possibility I could turn into a monster, too.
We stopped at a nondescript door and one of the deputies pushed it open, leading the group inside. A long table sat in the middle of the room, my father on the other side of it. He wore the requisite county jail orange jumpsuit, his wrists and feet shackled, his skin pasty with an almost green tinge, caused by a lack of sunlight.
He smiled when he saw me and lifted his wrists in a sort of greeting. “Will.”
I said nothing as I sat down across from him. Stone sat to the right of me. The deputies all hovered behind me and I saw the two that stood behind my dad. Though I didn’t trust the police, given the way they treated me after I brought in Katie, I was still reassured by their heavy presence. They weren’t messing around.
“You look good,” Dad said with a smile. A smile that I noticed didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I can’t say the same for you,” I muttered, making him laugh.
“I always did appreciate your honesty.” He paused, and I glanced up to find him watching me with an almost nostalgic spark in his gaze. “I’ve missed you, son.”
Everything inside of me tensed up. I really hated when he called me that, especially now. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was, that his blood flowed in my veins and we shared the same features and practically the same name. I hated that I was forever linked to this man. A serial killer. A rapist of little girls. God knew what else he’d done over the years. Those were only the things he got caught for.
When I said nothing, he continued on. “Are you all right? They treating you okay in the foster system? You only have a year or so left, kid, and then you can skip out on your own.”
Like that was going to be easy. I could work. I was working now, part time, so I could have my own money and not have to rely on anyone else. But the thought of being completely on my own still scared the crap out of me, not that I’d admit it to anyone.
Not even my old man.
“You think you’re going to beat this?” I asked him because I had to know. He’d always been an arrogant bastard, even at his lowest points. Drunk and jobless with a raging meth problem and he’d strut around town like he was king stud. I’d never seen anyone with such a healthy ego. I realized even when I was a little kid that his behavior wasn’t normal.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. His shoulders looked small. He’d shrunken in size since he’d been in jail. He’d always been larger than life to me until I finally got some inches on my frame and eventually grew taller than he was. Stronger, too. My size and strength eventually had saved my ass from having to do things he’d tried to force on me.
I couldn’t help but wonder more than once if he’d gone on to rape and murder little girls because he could no longer take out his rage on me. Yet another dose of guilt my father’s actions had heaped upon me.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” I wanted insight into his thoughts.
“The evidence they have on me is pretty bad, with that Watts girl talking. Did you hear her testimony?” He peered at me, his eyes narrowing, going black like they did just before he started yelling. Ice-cold memories slipped over me and I fought against them. I refused to let him scare me. This man couldn’t do anything to me without six deputies jumping on his ass. “Are you really going to testify against me?”
Straight to the point. Gotta love dear old dad. I ignore his second question. “I didn’t hear her testimony.”
“Didn’t even see it on the news? You know those lawyers are going to see if your stories match up.”
Anger rumbled just beneath the surface and I leaned across the table, glaring at him. “Our stories will match up considering we’re both telling the truth.”
He glared right back, never missing a beat. “You so sure about that?”
“I can’t even believe we’re sitting here talking about this.”