Closing my eyes, I fight back the tears. I’m such an idiot. How could I not have seen it? Especially these last few days, when he’d reminded me of Will so strongly. Was I in some sort of strange state of denial? You’d think I’d want to find Will, to thank him for saving me, let him know how much he still means to me, even after all these years.
I flop back on the bed and close my eyes, sling my arm over my face. He hasn’t tried to text or call me and it’s been five days since I fled his house. He’s either giving me time or letting me go.
That last part hurts. More than I’d like to admit.
Mom has been calling. So has Brenna. I’ve been short with them, blaming my mood on schoolwork. But I’ve neglected the papers I need to write, and the last test I took, I barely passed.
All I can think about is Ethan and what he did to me. How he lied. I don’t understand why. What sort of sick thrill did he get out of tricking me? Is he really that messed up? I want to believe he sought me out with good intentions, but I don’t know.
I guess I’ll never know.
Despite it all, I miss him. I think of what we shared that night. How I bared myself to him, the intimate moments we shared. I want more. I wish I could have more, but I don’t trust him. I can’t trust anyone. I let one person into my life after so many years of never opening up to anyone and it ends in complete disaster.
I can’t let anyone else in.
Ever.
Glancing at my phone, I see that it’s almost six a.m. and I give up pretending I’ll go back to sleep. I crawl out of bed and take a shower. Go about my morning tasks, getting dressed, drying my hair, eating breakfast, and checking my phone. I need to run a few errands and I’m about to leave when I receive a call from an unfamiliar number. I’m hesitant to answer it, should just let it go to voicemail, but something compels me to answer that call.
“Hello?”
“Katherine? This is Lisa Swanson. We need to talk.”