“Hey, were you ok back there? For a single lady, you didn’t seem to be enjoying the show very much.” I tried to read Kalli’s expression. When she was happy, it was really easy to see it on her face and in her eyes. But when she was emotionally closed down, I struggled to read her at all.
“Sure,” she said as she patted my leg. “I’ve just got some things on my mind.”
“Things?”
She shrugged, looking down at her hands that had found their way back to her lap. “I met somebody.”
I tried to contain my excitement and shock at her words, allowing only my eyebrows to show any inkling of emotion, shooting straight up towards the roof. I knew Kalli had troubles trusting men since everything had happened with Kyle the spring before.
“Oh?” I could see her smile a little, even if she was trying to hide it from me. But the smile disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.
“Yeah, but he’s gone. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Wasn’t it? You kind of seem like it was a big deal.” I tried to nudge her gently, tried to get her to open up to me.
“I thought it was what I wanted. I told him that it had to be casual, like, a one-time thing. He was ok with it, at first, but then when it was time for him to go, it all just kind of blew up in my face.”
“How?”
“He told me he wanted more. I told him I didn’t.” She sounded broken.
“But you did, didn’t you?”
She nodded and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.
“Oh, Kalli,” I said as I pulled her closer to me, hugging her. “Who was it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It kind of does,” I countered.
“I can’t tell you, though. I’m sorry. I worked with him and if it got out, it wouldn’t be good for him.”
Well, that was a surprise. If it was someone she worked with, I could probably do enough stalking on google to figure it out or at least narrow it down. “You know I’d never tell anyone, Kalli. You’re my best friend. We should be able to tell each other these things.” She leaned away from me, scooted back to her own seat, and I felt her close up on me again.
“It’s ok. I’ll be fine.”
I didn’t believe her and she didn’t sound like she believed herself either. My heart hurt for her. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. Kalli was sometimes a conundrum to me. She just kind of showed up in our lives and wiggled her way in. I loved her and couldn’t imagine my life now without her, but trying to get her to open up or talk about her past was a chore. It was as if she didn’t want anyone to know who she was before we met her in Portland. She never invited us to Seattle where she lived. She never spoke about her family, never gave any insight into her world outside of our friendship. Did it matter to me? No. Not in the slightest. She had been there for me in the most emotionally tumultuous time of my life. She’d proven to be more loyal and loving towards me than I had ever imagined was possible. I loved her unconditionally, but I wanted her to trust me, to share things with me.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“It’s ok if you’re not. You know that right? You don’t have to be fine all the time.” She didn’t respond, but I knew she’d heard me and that was most important.
We made it to the hotel and when we split to head to our individual rooms, I made her hug me. I took her by the shoulders and brought her into me, wrapping my arms around her. She was stiff at first, but eventually relaxed into me.
“I love you, Kalli. You’re like a sister to me. You can always count on me.” I heard her sniffle and felt her head nod. She pulled away and gave me her signature weak smile and headed towards her room.
When I got to my room, I found it empty, but wasn’t surprised by it. I expected Porter to have more stamina than me and to help Patrick have the time of his life. I decided that a hot bath sounded like the time of my life.
Soaking in the big tub was a luxury. The tub at the beach house was incredible, but not so much in Salem, where I spent most of my time, so I appreciated the tub and it’s strategically placed jets that were currently working the knots out of my back. After my bath, Porter still hadn’t returned and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I turned on the TV, finding a movie I’d already seen, and laid down on the bed. I stretched out diagonally across the entire bed, my strategy to make sure Porter had to wake me to go to sleep.
My plan worked because I woke to the smell of my husband’s soap and his warm hand rubbing soft circles on my back. I opened my eyes and saw my husband’s face surrounded by just the soft light coming from the lamp by the bed.
“Hi,” I smiled up at him sleepily. When my eyes focused, I saw his hair was wet. “Did you shower?”
“Yeah. I smelled like smoke and women.” I cocked an eyebrow at him trying not to make it obvious that I had also noticed that he was naked.
“So you did go to a strip club.”
“That we did,” he said as he patted my butt, urging me to scoot onto my designated side of the bed. I slid over, rolling towards him, resting my head on my pillow, curling my knees up to my chest.