“Old and pregnant,” I replied, refusing the urge to place my hand over my belly.
“Don’t worry, us old ladies will stick together.”
Kalli was my age and I was so glad that I wasn’t the only person over thirty in the limo. We watched the girls laugh and take selfies, drinking, and making toasts. I glanced down at my bottle of water and sighed. When the limo came to a stop, it was outside of a small theatre not very far away from the west bank of the river.
“Here we go, ladies!” Megan hopped out of the limo first and we all filed out after her. We stood in line against the brick wall of the building, waiting for the doors to open.
Megan looked like the typical bachelorette. She wore a white halter-top dress that hugged every single curve the girl had. Her hair was styled and fell into perfect, dark brown curls down her back. She wore a pink tiara in her hair and a pink sash that draped from one shoulder proudly stating that she was the bride-to-be.
One of her friends walked up and down the line of us, handing out necklaces that had tiny replicas of penises dangling from them. All of Megan’s friends giggled as they placed the necklaces over their heads. I held it in my hand and looked over at Kalli.
“Are we really going to wear a penis necklace?”
Kalli smiled at me. “Come on, big sis. She’s only going to get married once. Don’t be a stick in the mud.”
“You’re right,” I said, placing the necklace over my head. I looked at my sister, talking with her friends, seemingly having the time of her life, and decided not to act like I felt: completely out of place and uncomfortable. I would do anything to make sure she had the best time.
A few minutes later a woman came out of the theatre and looked up and down the line of us. “Is there a Megan here? A Megan Sinclair? Celebrating her last night of freedom?” This woman, she had a very, very deep voice. I looked closer and realized that the woman was actually a man. I leaned over to Kalli very slowly.
“Kalli . . .” I whispered.
“Yes?”
“Are we here to see a drag show?”
“It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?”
“I’m right here!” Megan’s hand shot up into the air, waving around.
“Well come on, Momma!” The queen said loudly while waving her towards the door. “We’ve got your table all set up for you.” Megan squealed and rushed in the door as we all followed.
The next two hours we spent watching very talented drag queens perform some of my very favorite songs from the eighties. I stayed in my seat, but many of the women in the audience made their way to the front to slip dollar bills in the queen’s bras or panties. Megan got progressively drunker as the night wore on, and the drag queens loved her. They also loved all the money she shoved in their dresses. She was having a blast so none of us tried to reign her in.
When the lights came on, I stood up and grabbed my purse, ready to head to the door.
“Sit down, Sister!” Megan yelled from her chair.
I looked around, confused. “Aren’t we leaving? The show’s over.”
“The first show is over. There’s another one,” she said with a grin. I looked at Kalli and she just shrugged her shoulders. I sat down again, still confused, but willing to do whatever Megan wanted.
The head queen came over to our table and Megan stood up and hugged her. The queen laughed and told her that our table had a round of drinks on the house in celebration of her bachelorette party. Shouts came from Megan and all her friends, and Kalli and I just laughed at them. A waiter came and took all of their drink orders and I ordered a cranberry juice.
When the waiter returned he was accompanied by one of the queens from the show. She was a small little thing with skin the color of caramel. She had on a long blonde wig and wore a short, black miniskirt with a matching halter top. The waiter delivered all our drinks and the blonde bombshell started addressing the audience, holding on to a microphone so all could hear her.
“Ladies,” she said in a high feminine pitch, “and gentlemen.” Gentlemen was said in a very burly, low, gravely tone, making the audience laugh. “Tonight is this woman’s last hurrah as a single woman. She decided to come here to celebrate with a bunch of drag queens.” She stopped talking for a moment and had a confused look on her face. “What the hell are you doing here with a bunch of drag queens?” The audience laughed again and Megan giggled in her chair.