“In any case, she’s here to celebrate, and we are here to show her a good time.” She snapped her fingers and the lights went out at the same time a spotlight appeared on her and Megan. Loud music rang throughout the auditorium and I instantly recognized Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” The queen started grinding all over Megan’s lap and Megan was laughing hysterically. My mouth gaped open watching the whole scene, and about thirty seconds into the song I came to my senses and pulled out my cell phone to take a video.
Halfway through the song more spotlights appeared behind Megan and four more queens showed up and executed the signature dance perfectly. We all laughed so hard, my phone was shaking and I knew the video wasn’t going to be great, but I wanted to capture the moment. Megan’s smile was so big and she was enjoying herself so much, I knew she’d like to watch the video some other time to remember how much fun she’d had.
The song ended, the lights came back on, and all the queens took turns kissing Megan on the cheek and wishing her good luck at the altar. The whole party giggled and sipped their drinks when a few minutes later the lights dimmed again. I prepped myself for another drag show, wondering if they did different numbers the second time around.
When the spotlight lit up the stage this time though, my mouth popped open again, but this time I was gawking at the half-naked, fully tanned, one hundred percent ripped, man on the stage. I looked over to Megan and she winked at me. The little slut had known all along.
For the next hour we watched a dozen men strip down to tiny little banana hammocks, bumping and grinding all over the stage, sometimes coming into the audience to tease the women. At one point, they pulled Megan on stage and gave her the lap dance of her life. Three very handsome male dancers took their turn rubbing up on her, shaking their barely clad asses in her face. She loved every minute of it too.
I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t entertaining and, ok, a little sexy. There were more than a few moments that I felt like fanning my face, but I contained myself and tried to seem like I wasn’t affected. I was married after all. At one point I looked over at Kalli and she could have been watching a presentation on stock options and IRAs. I nudged her with my elbow and she looked over at me. I leaned towards her and put my hand up, cupping my mouth, aiming it towards her.
“These guys are pretty hot.” I pointed towards the stage. She shrugged and turned back to watch the mail man deliver his “package.” I poked her again and she looked over at me. “You ok?” She nodded and gave me a weak smile. I didn’t believe her, but wasn’t really in a good place to question her further about it. I turned back to the stage and SURPRISE! The package was his dick.
Again, Megan and her friends brought the house down with their screams and whistles and, while I enjoyed myself, I was very glad to be in my thirties, pregnant, and over the period in my life where male strippers were on my list of things to see. Eventually, after a very provocative finale, the men all took their scantily-clad bows, accepted the dollar bills being thrown up to the stage, and made their exit, bare asses in full view of everyone. The lights came up and I stood, not waiting to see if Megan had other plans. I’d spent many hours watching men, in various forms, shaking what their mommas gave them and I was ready to go to bed.
Once we had filed out of the auditorium and were back to standing on the street, Megan turned to her younger friends.
“Ok, ladies. Where are we headed next?”
“Kell’s is just up the street. They’ve usually got some live music playing.” This coming from Megan’s friend, Beth, whose eyebrows went up, scrunching her forehead as she offered up the next activity.
“Oh! Irish Car Bombs! Let’s go!” Megan started marching, albeit a little sideways down the street, but I managed to catch her elbow.
“Megan, I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. Is that ok? I don’t want you to feel like I’m bailing on you, but, I’m bailing on you.” Megan’s arms came around me in a hug.
“Oh, Fella, I’m just glad you came out with us at all. I love you and I will see you tomorrow.”
“I think I’m going to go too, Megan. I think I should make sure Ella gets to the hotel ok.” Kalli’s voice had the same soft tone mine did, not wanting to upset her.
“Sure, Kalli. Thank you both for coming. I had a great time.”
“We did too, Megs. Make sure you don’t drink too much and make sure you all take the limo back to the hotel. Don’t get into cars with strange boys.”
Megan waved her hand dismissively at me. “Ok, Mom. Thanks. Bye.”
We watched her join her friends as they made their way down the street, the city lights illuminating the night, the tall buildings stretching up into the sky.
“You feel like walking or catching a cab?” Kalli asked.
“Cab. Definitely.” We walked the opposite direction of Megan and the girls, waited at the corner for a minute until we flagged down an available cab. We told the driver which hotel to take us to and settled into the car for the ride.