Need You Tonight

THIRTY-THREE





Kade was quiet on the plane ride home. They’d spent the previous night in the hospital to get his leg treated—luckily, the bullet had only grazed his thigh. Then they’d spent the morning in the police station giving statements. So they hadn’t had any time to talk. And once they’d gotten on his company’s private jet, he’d closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. She could tell he was faking because his breathing never turned even.

He was beating himself up over how he’d tortured Doug at the end. He hadn’t said so, but she knew that’s what lurked behind the dark shadows of his expression. After the police had come into the yard, Kade had stood to the side, stricken. When he’d looked to Tessa, it was as if he was looking through her. Empty. Gone. And when she’d gone to stand with him, he hadn’t reached out for her. There’d been this invisible steel shell encasing him.

And part of her had been scared to embrace him in that moment. It had been frightening to see the cold hate in Kade’s eyes, the capacity for true violence. Something had overtaken him there in the backyard, morphing the kind and loving man she knew into one with single-minded vengeance. But knowing what he’d been through in the woods, how Doug had violated him so viciously, she couldn’t blame him for his instinctive reaction. She’d been most afraid that Kade would do something he’d regret, something that would land him in jail. But through the rage and trauma and all that memory, he’d been able to pull back and walk away anyway.

She couldn’t imagine the amount of self-control that had taken. She wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to do the same had she gone through what he had.

But she hated that it’d sent him into shutdown mode. She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers with his. He gave a little squeeze back, proving that he wasn’t asleep, but didn’t open his eyes.

“Only about an hour before we get there,” she said softly.

“Good, I’m ready to be as far from Atlanta as possible.”

“You and me both.” She glanced out the window at the inky blackness. “Dallas almost doesn’t seem far enough.”

He gave her hand another squeeze. “I know what you mean.”

She rubbed her thumb over his ring finger back and forth, back and forth, thinking. “Maybe we should keep going further then.”

He cracked his eyes open and peeked at her, the sadness that had been sitting heavy there earlier still glimmering in the blue depths. “What are you talking about?”

She shrugged. “I heard Vegas is nice this time of year.”

That got him fully awake. He sat up straighter and turned toward her. “Have a hankering to gamble?”

She rubbed her lips together, considering him. He looked so much like the boy he used to be at times—sleepy-eyed, mussed hair, vaguely wary look on his face. “Yeah, I think I do. I’ve never been good at taking risks. Maybe it’s a good place to get over that. What do you think?”

He sighed and stared down at their joined hands. The weight of everything left unsaid about the night before, about what really happened in high school, about the darkness that had chased the both of them through the years—all of it infiltrated the cabin, piling in and filling all the spaces with the heavy baggage they’d gathered over the years.

When Kade finally spoke, his voice was unbearably quiet. “I’m so sorry about how I acted last night, Tess. How I . . . lost it. I thought I’d shown you my ugly parts, but even I didn’t know that side of me was in there. Being near him again brought all that shit up, and I was there in the woods again, seeing it all again, feeling every kick, every broken bone. All logic went out of my head. I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted to humiliate him and tear away every thread of pride he had. Destroy him. I needed him to feel what he made me feel that night.”

“Kade . . .” she said, her heart breaking at the anguish in his voice, the disgust with himself.

“Maybe I’m not as different from him as I thought I was. I could’ve killed him and not felt bad about it. Part of me wishes I would’ve. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Hey, look at me,” she said, her voice firm. He lifted his gaze to hers, all the pain shining there. “Don’t ever say stupid shit like that again. You’re as far from someone like him as anyone can be. You may have wanted to kill him, may still want to, but you didn’t and you won’t. You had the chance twice, and you didn’t hurt him. Your reaction was human. The things he did to you left scars that you may have moved past but are always going to be there on some level.”

“I just hate that it’s still there at all. I thought I’d exorcised it all. I never wanted you to see that side of me. I know I scared you.”

She shook her head. “I was scared that I’d lose you if you did something to him. That’s where my fear was. And you don’t have to pretend that those things never happened to you. That stuff fades but doesn’t disappear. We just learn how to deal with it better. It’s why any time you mention the word relationship I get a fat dose of panic rushing through me. No matter how much I try to convince myself that I’m not that insecure foster kid anymore, part of me will always expect people to let me down and leave.”

He reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Then why do you want to go to Vegas?”

“Because I love poker, duh.”

He laughed, and the rich sound was so welcome after the last forty-eight hours that she nearly climbed into his seat with him to absorb it fully.

“I want to go because, just like you, I’m tired of all that stuff from the past holding me hostage. The times I’ve spent with you since that night in the restaurant have been the most exciting and happiest I’ve ever had. Yes, you’re intense and dominant, and I know I still have a lot to understand about that. I will warn you now that if your idea of submission is having some kept woman who sits around the house and waits for you to come home, that isn’t going to fly for me. I will never be a housewife. I suck at it. And I don’t care how adorable and sexy you are, how convincing you can be when you get that badass dom look on your face, or how madly in love with you I am, that’s not going to change.”

He gave her a roguish smile filled with that trademark confidence that had been absent in Atlanta, and her belly did a flutter. “Madly in love, huh?”

“Yes. Madly. Deal with it.”

“I kind of want to hear you say that over and over again. Possibly while I’m deep inside you.”

A pulse of desire heated her from the center outward. But she was not to be distracted from her demands.

“I want to keep going to school. I want a career. I need to stand on my own two feet in the world. I won’t be anyone’s trophy again.”

He lifted an eyebrow, his expression amused. “Is that all Mistress McAllen?”

“Well, I do agree that you can have your wicked way with me when I’m not working or in school. I mean, I do have to concede some things. Plus, you’re so very good at that part.”

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the center of her palm, sending a shiver up her arm. “I would never make you quit school or give up a career. I want you submissive to me. I don’t want a Stepford wife.”

“Good.”

“But I’m going to give you my own warning right back,” he said, his gaze meeting hers. “I want to take care of you, Tess. That doesn’t mean making you dependent on me. But it does mean that I want to pamper you and surprise you and take you places on a whim. It means that I’ll worry about you and make sure you have everything you need. I’m madly in love with you right back, and I’m going to want to show it in every way available.” He kissed up her arm. “And I have lots and lots of ways available to me.”

She closed her eyes, his simple touch soothing something inside her. “I think I can work with that.”

He unhooked his seat belt and got to his knee, wincing slightly from his injury, then took her hands in his. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath before he met her eyes. “Tessa McAllen, I fell in lust with you the day I first saw you walk across the cafeteria in that purple flowered sundress you used to wear. I lost my heart to you when you hugged me that day in the cabin after your test and looked at me like I mattered to you. And I fell in love with you when I discovered the strong, smart, unfairly sexy woman you’ve become. I want nothing more in this life than to make you mine and to be yours in return. I know it may take you a while to trust that, but I will give you my love without limit or conditions, without an end. I’m not going anywhere. You’re it for me, Tess. Always. No matter what.”

Her throat felt filled with cotton, and fat tears rolled off her cheeks, splashing onto their joined hands. It was everything she’d always wanted to hear, the promise of forever. A real forever. And for the first time, she believed it could actually exist. She’d waited all her life for this man. For this kind of love.


“Will you be mine, Tess? Wear my ring and my collar?”

She looped her arms around his neck and slid down to her knees between the seats, almost too filled with joy to breathe. The truth poured out of her, without filter or fear. “It’s always been you, Kade. I walked away back then, but I never collected all of my heart back from you. Before this, if someone had told me there was a perfect match for me out there, some person destined to fit just right with me, I would’ve laughed. Especially if they told me that guy was someone who’d want to put a collar around my neck. But when I landed back in Atlanta and thought that I may have to give you up, give this up, I realized that I can never go back to the before state. I don’t want to. I thought I was happy with my new life in Texas. And I was. But not like this. I love you, Kaden Fowler Vandergriff, the boy you were and the man you’ve become. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather be more than the wife on your arm . . . and the slave in your bed.”

Kade’s smile lit up the darkened cabin and nearly broke her chest open. There was so much in his eyes, so much emotion he’d been keeping hidden from her, so much love. No one had ever looked at her like that—like she was the reason the sun rose each day.

Kade slid his hands up her neck and cradled her face. “I don’t want to go another day without making you mine. I’ve waited too long already.”

She nodded in his grip, excitement rather than nerves taking over at the prospect.

He reached back to press a button, calling for the flight attendant. The guy came down the aisle, not blinking an eye at the two of them kneeling between their seats. Kade barely spared him a glance. “Tell the pilot to reroute us to Las Vegas. And please close the curtain behind you and don’t check on us again until I open it.”

The attendant gave a brief smile. “Yes, sir. Right away.”

Tess lifted her eyebrows when he looked back to her.

“Tell me,” he said with a wicked tilt to his mouth. “Was membership in the mile-high club on that list of yours?”

She grinned. “It’s not, but I should definitely add it.”

He stood and took her hand, guiding her to her feet. But she didn’t miss the little flinch he gave when he’d gotten up.

“What about your leg?”

He put his hands on her waist and quieted her with a slow, soft kiss. When he pulled back, he gave her an enigmatic smile. “I’ve got ways around that.”

He led her down the aisle and she assumed he was taking her to the back where there was a small sleeping cabin with a twin-sized bed. But he stopped in the open area behind the seats where two couches flanked each side of the jet.

“Take off your clothes, Tess,” he said, that commanding tone sending goose bumps over her skin.

She glanced at the back of the plane. “Here?”

“Yes. Here. I suggest you don’t question me.”

She wet her lips. “Yes, sir.”

She pulled her shirt over her head and slipped out of her jeans, then tugged off her bra and underwear. The plane jolted and she grabbed for the overhead bin to keep her balance.

He gave her a long, sweeping once-over. The cabin lights had been turned down low and the starless night bled in from the windows, painting Kade in shadows and making him look ominous and intimidating and sexy. She shivered in the cool air, her nipples pebbling.

Kade opened the bin behind him and pulled out something. He turned around, holding seat belt extenders. “Wouldn’t want to risk the safety of my pretty little slave.”

She eyed the straps, her heartbeat hopping against her ribs.

“Turn around and face the windows. The view flying into Vegas at night is pretty breathtaking.”

“Yes, sir.” She turned on bare feet, facing the row of round windows, and Kade stepped behind her.

His body was hard and warm against her as he lifted one of her arms above her head. He wrapped the seat belt extender around her wrists and made a makeshift knot. Then he threaded it through the handle of the bin above her. He secured the other wrist to the other end of the strap. “Too tight?”

“No, sir, it’s fine.”

“Good.” He caressed her sides with hot palms as he moved down her body and squatted at her feet. He wrapped the belts around her ankles and secured her, legs spread wide—one hooked to the seat to the left and one to the leg of the couch. “There, now you won’t fall if the plane hits turbulence.”

“Thank you, sir.” Though she suspected Kade was going to provide turbulence of his own.

He trailed fingers down her spine. “Tonight I don’t want anything between us. I get checked regularly and am safe. Are you on birth control?”

“I’m on the pill. And I got tested after I found out what Doug had been doing.”

“Good girl,” he said, kissing along her shoulder. “I need to hear you say you’re okay with me f*cking you bare, baby. That’s not something I will order you to do.”

The dirty words made her stomach clench low, her body already growing wet and hot for him. “I want it, sir. No more condoms.”

He circled his arms around her and brushed his fingers over her folds. Her legs went boneless for a moment and she groaned into the touch, the pleasure so welcome after such a stressful few days. “I agree, no more condoms when it’s just us.”

The words took a second to register with the delicious stroking that was going on, but all her attention honed in on his words. “Won’t it always be just us? We’re getting married.”

“I promise you there will never be another woman for me. You’re all I need, and more than one woman is not my kink. But I saw how much you enjoyed that night with Colby. And I like giving you that kind of pleasure, sharing you as my slave.” His fingers dipped inside her, his slow strokes matching the soft, cajoling sound of his voice. “Like I told you that first night. I’m a kinky f*cker. Our love is monogamous, so I trust in that enough that if we play with someone else, you’re still all mine and vice versa.”

The concept was so out there, so very different from anything she’d ever known or considered. But there was something wildly enticing about that deep a level of trust. It’d be okay to explore each other’s edges, together, without worrying that it would shake their foundation. She knew without a doubt that it didn’t matter how many men touched her when they had a kinky night, none would tempt her away from this man. He would truly own her body, heart, and soul.

“It’s always going to ultimately be your call,” he said softly. “But putting a ring on your finger doesn’t mean I stop pushing your boundaries. What if I want to see how loud you come when I’m deep in your ass while you f*ck someone else? I know your mind went there when you saw Jace, Evan, and Andre together.”

She moaned at both the fantasy he was conjuring and the way he curled his fingers inside her. “You’re a filthy, filthy man, sir.”

His laugh was dark and low against his ear. “And you love it.”

“I do, sir. I love you.”

“And I will wake up and thank the heavens every day for that.” He kissed her neck and traced his tongue along her pulse point. “My beautiful, smart, brave girl. My future wife. And my dirty little slave.”

She smiled, warmth blooming in her chest, and lowered her head. Never would she have believed that word could be an endearment. But Kade had proved it to her. She would not be his angelic, proper wife. She would not be that insecure, people-pleasing girl. She would be Tessa for him. A woman who wasn’t afraid to give in to her desires. A woman who would do things with him just because they were fun, because they felt good, because she loved him and he loved her. Because the ultimate trust was there. A woman who could stand on her own two feet but who could also get on her knees at night for her man and not feel wrong about it.

Kade brought her close to orgasm with his fingers then pulled back, dragging his hand up her abdomen and painting her with her arousal. His hand cupped her breast then slid up to capture her nipple.

“Ready for a little sting?” He gave her nipple a firm pinch and tug.

She arched into the touch and moaned. Somehow just that little dart of pain made every nerve ending stand up and pay attention, her body craving that dose of sharpness mixed in with the pleasure.

“Mmm,” Kade said, rolling her other nipple between his fingers and pinching it hard. She gasped and she could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. “I love how you respond to any hint of roughness. I think my girl craves pain more than she realizes. I can’t wait to see how deep that wiring runs.”

He stepped back and his hand came down on her backside with a hard slap. The sound was like a gunshot in the small airplane. But the stinging heat that raced outward made her forget to worry about all the noise they were making. His hand whacked her on the other side and then again across her thigh. She wiggled in her bindings, but he didn’t pause. The spanking was harder and longer than he’d done in the past and no spot on her thighs, hips, ass, or p-ssy remained untouched.

Her skin burned and ached, everything was tightening. And the resulting heat curling through her was making her so wet, she could barely concentrate. But even with all that, the voice inside her was silently begging him for more of that violence. She needed to be touched, she needed to be hurt, she needed the two together. She didn’t know why, and she no longer cared. Words slipped past her lips, and she couldn’t decipher what she was saying anymore.


But apparently Kade did. He coasted his hands over her fiery skin. “You need more, huh? I love to hear you begging for it. I can see you sinking, baby. Your body’s giving over to it. Let it take you and I’ll give you what you need.”

Her mind was buzzing, her vision making the windows blur together, but she sensed him moving behind her. She mourned the loss of his hands on her.

“I’m glad I travel prepared,” he said from somewhere to her left. Another bin was opened and closed. Then he was touching her hip with light fingers, letting her know he was back with her. “I think it’s time to punish you for leaving town without telling me and for shutting me out instead of asking for help.”

Her already racing heart stuttered in her chest. “Punish?”

“You know how worried I was when I found your house empty, your car still in the driveway.”

“I was—”

He pressed his hand over her mouth. “Shh, no more talking unless it’s to safe out. You said you need more. You may regret what you asked for.”

He lowered his hand and dragged what looked to be a thin reed of wood across her breasts. She swallowed hard. “May I ask what that is, sir?”

“You may,” he said, dragging the tip of it over her shoulder and down her back. “It’s a rattan cane. One of the most intensely painful tools I have.”

She stiffened, fear instantly taking root.

“In the wrong hands, it can injure.” He traced the notches of her spine with the end of the dreadful thing. “In the right hands, it hurts like a sonofabitch and leaves the prettiest marks.”

Her breath quickened. “Sir . . .”

He stepped up behind her and dragged her backside along his erection. Her sex clenched, desperate for him. “I need to see how deep your masochism streak runs. But more than that I want to mark you, Tess. I want to wake up tomorrow with my ring on your finger and my marks on your skin.”

She shivered in his hold, a combination of fear and desperate need coalescing. The idea of him marking her spoke to some part inside her she hadn’t even known existed. “I’m a little scared.”

“I know, baby,” he said, kissing the shell of her ear. “And that’s okay. I won’t force this on you. In fact, I’m not going to do it until you ask for my cane.”

Her throat was so dry she had trouble speaking. “What do you mean?”

His breath was hot on her skin as he lowered his hand and teased her * again. “I won’t do it until you tell me you want my marks.”

“And if I say no?” she asked, breathless from what he was doing with his fingers.

“I put it away,” he said simply.

She closed her eyes and took a long breath as he continued to tease her to the edge of orgasm. Intense pain didn’t seem like something she would ever ask for. But the burning warmth from the spanking was starting to fade and all her senses had gone edgy, hungry for something more, something else. Like if she could just have whatever that little extra was, it would send her over into orgasm.

“I trust you,” she said softly.

Kade pressed another kiss to her hair but seemed to relax behind her. “You trust me to what, baby?”

She was so close to coming it was hard to focus. “Trust that you won’t give me more than you think I can handle. Give me your cane, sir. Please. I want to wear your marks.”

Kade groaned, the pleased sound reward enough, and he stepped in between her and the couch. He was on his knees in a flash and spreading her open with his thumbs. His tongue and mouth enveloped her * before she could even catch her breath.

She let out a gasp of surprise and her fists curled in her bindings.

“Come for me, Tess,” he said, pulling back for a moment. “I want you flying high first.”

He went back to licking her with hungry enthusiasm, and he pushed the leather-wrapped handle of the cane inside her. Her body clasped around the invasion and she made a desperate sound. Oh, God.

It was all too much at once. He pumped the unyielding handle inside her with slow, insanity-inducing strokes and his lips and tongue paid homage to every delicate, aching part of her. She had no hope to hold off. The orgasm steamrolled over her, crushing any last resistance and tearing a cry from her throat.

Kade lapped at her, letting her ride the wave of sensation for as long as possible, then he slid the handle from her and was climbing to his feet. Her body was still contracting, pleasure steadily pulsing through her, when he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her and flicked the cane across her ass.

Holy. F*cking. Shit. Pain exploded over her with breath-stealing impact. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. No, no, no, she couldn’t take this much. But before she could suck in air to call her safeword, the reverberating pain radiated outward through her body and mixed in with the tail end of her orgasm, morphing into some hybrid sensation that made her pant and on the verge of coming again.

“God, look how beautiful you are,” Kade said, his voice holding awe. He pressed fingers against her * and circled with firmer pressure than she would’ve guessed could feel good. “Two more, love.”

He flicked the cane again, right below where the first hit had been, and she saw stars. But his fingers kept circling, and the stimulation was just what she needed. Her body was tightening all over again, preparing for another explosion.

“Last one,” he whispered.

The intensity was no less than the first two, but the gasping sobs she made had nothing to do with the pain. The sensations were making her dizzy and desperate. She didn’t know how to hold it all in. She felt lost. She felt found. She felt . . . high.

Kade tossed the cane onto the couch and rained praise on her as he shucked his clothes. Then he untied her from her restraints with the swiftness of a man on a mission. She couldn’t keep up with his movements, her brain spinning. When he released the last belt, she sagged in his arms, unable to hold herself upright, and he walked them over to the couch. He sat down, his cock jutting proudly upward and she wanted to sink to her knees and worship it—something, anything to thank him for the way she was feeling in this moment. But Kade shook his head when she tried. He had other ideas. He guided her down to straddle his lap.

“I want to see you while I f*ck you, Tess,” he said, positioning himself at her entrance. “Want to watch you take me inside you and fall apart.”

He pushed into her without resistance, her body so slick and ready for him that her eyes nearly rolled back when he sunk deep.

“F*ck,” he groaned, grasping her hips and seating himself fully inside her. “You feel so good, baby. So damn perfect.”

All she could do was murmur in response, her executive functioning shorting out and giving over to all the sensations.

“Ride me, Tess. Make me come.”

Even through the haze in her mind, she knew at the very least she could accomplish that. She braced her hands on his shoulders, met his eyes, and undulated her hips, taking him almost all the way out and then plunging back down.

His eyes were pale in the near darkness but she could see him going into that place with her. That place where all that existed was the two of them and the way their bodies felt joined together. She didn’t know how long she f*cked him. Time slowed and stretched, but when he grabbed her head and brought her mouth down to his, she lost all sense of everything.

They kissed long and deep, their tongues intertwining, as she took him into her body over and over. Everything they’d ever wanted to say to each other poured into that kiss. Every emotion, any word left unspoken, all the love, it was all there.

Without breaking the kiss, he tilted her hips just right and rubbed his cock along that perfect spot inside her and the world went Technicolor behind her eyelids. She broke from the kiss, sucking in air and crying out. His groan joined hers and the warmth of his release spilled inside her, marking her on the inside just like she wore his marks on the outside.

And as the lights of Vegas came into view through the windows behind him, glittering in the distance like some far-off kingdom, Tessa knew she’d finally found her place in the world. This was it. The little girl who once believed in fairy tales had finally found her prince.

Her deliciously evil prince.