Need You Tonight

THIRTY





“What do you mean she’s gone?” Kade asked, once again, standing in Sam’s doorway and praying the woman would help him. He’d already been to Tessa’s house to find it locked up and her car sitting in the driveway. She wasn’t answering her phone. And she’d been a no show at the police station the day before. He’d been climbing the walls with worry waiting to get the bail processed so he could get out. Then this morning, they’d let him out saying the charges had been dropped.

“She’s in Atlanta,” Sam said, lines of strain around her mouth. “She called me a few hours ago.”

“Atlanta? F*ck. Why would she go back there?” Then a sickening realization wrapped around him. “What did that a*shole do?”

“I don’t know the whole story, but I’m guessing there’s a reason charges were dropped for you.”

“Christ.” He scraped a hand through his hair. “She didn’t need to go anywhere with him. I would’ve handled it. He’d have to prove it in court, and I don’t care if he claims to have a witness or not.”

“She was worried about your custody case. And honestly, I think he’s holding more over her than the charges. She wouldn’t have gone with him easily.”

His fists curled at the thought of Doug laying one finger on Tessa or threatening her in any way. He would kill the sonofabitch. “I’m going to get her.”

Sam’s hand darted out, grabbing him before he could leave. “Hold up.”

“Don’t try to talk me out of this, Sam. You don’t know what that guy is capable of. He’s demented, sick, and cruel.” Flashes of the night Doug had jumped him in high school flickered through his mind in painful succession, ripping open old scars he thought long healed. “She can’t be near him.”

“Look, you don’t have to convince me of that. But she gave me specific instructions to tell you not to come. She needs a little time. She has to take care of some things, and you’ll only get in the way.”

“In the way?” The words stung. “I can’t let her stay there with him. He could hurt her. She needs my help.”

Sam’s expression turned sympathetic. “I know how you feel, believe me. I’ve been sick about it since she called me. But she said to tell you to trust her, to focus on keeping your image clean for the courts. That she has a plan and can handle herself. And you know, I think she can. She’s a lot tougher than she used to be.”

He leaned back against the wall. Trust. Letting her handle herself. He could deal with the first. He did trust her. But he also knew she could put herself at more risk than she realized with Doug. He’d never told her or anyone the extent of what had really happened that night. Everyone knew he’d been beaten up. The groundskeeper had found him naked, bloodied, and hog-tied behind the bleachers on the football field the morning after and word had spread fast. But no one else had seen how broken he’d been; no one knew how cruel Doug had gotten.

He’d been too damaged, humiliated, and disgusted afterward to cope. He hadn’t been able to bear the thought of Tessa seeing him that way. Of anyone seeing him like that. It felt like the shame of that night was printed on his skin, like everyone would see all his secrets just by looking at him. So when he’d left home, he’d closed that chapter of his life and tried to forget it. But now blind panic filled him, knowing Tessa was with Doug. Doug who was capable of far more than verbal abuse.

“She’s not safe with him,” he said, rubbing his hand over his forehead. “I have to get to her.”

“Kade—” Sam called.

But he was already striding away, the visions of that horrific night coming back. Back then, he’d let Tessa go because he couldn’t face her after what happened. Yes, she’d turned away from him, rejected him in front of everyone, but he’d seen in her eyes that it was killing her. He could’ve stayed in school and given her time, tried to convince her again. But after that night, he didn’t want to think about her or anything related to that night. He couldn’t even look in the mirror until the visible scars had faded. Everything would cause a flashback, a spiral into darkness. So he’d slammed the door shut.

All this time she thought she’d abandoned him for Doug. But in truth, he’d abandoned her. He’d been broken and full of rage and couldn’t get past it. He’d left her there with him even knowing who Doug was, praying she’d move on when she heard Doug had beaten Kade. But he hadn’t done anything to protect her from that sick f*ck. He’d run and protected himself instead. He’d given up.

1996

Kaden’s chest pulled tight as he headed up to the brightly lit house in a cul-de-sac of one of the nicer neighborhoods in town. The music could be heard drifting on the breeze, but not enough to make a neighbor call in a noise complaint. Toby Wallace was a professional party giver. He’d cover all the bases to make sure they didn’t get a visit from the cops. At least that’s what Kaden had heard. He’d never actually been to one of his parties. But Tessa was here. So this is where he needed to be.

Maybe if things were different. Tessa had said those magic words, and the statement hadn’t stopped running through his head since he’d left her house the night before. But when he’d tried to set up a time to talk to her tonight, she’d told him that she had to go to a party.

With Doug.

She hadn’t said the last part, but he’d known it. She wouldn’t have gone to a house party solo. But this couldn’t wait. He needed to talk to her tonight.

He loved her. He knew without a doubt and was ready to do anything to show her why she should be with him. He only hoped he could get her alone to talk and that it was enough. He checked to make sure no one was around to see and slipped through the gate into the backyard. He hadn’t been invited to this party. Hell, he wasn’t invited to any of the parties. But he hoped he could blend in well enough if the crowd was from a few different schools.


Kids were crowded around the pool, most had beer in their hands. There was laughing and guys shoving each other, joking around. Girls stood nearby, giggling at their antics. To Kaden it was like turning on the National Geographic channel and observing a society he wasn’t a member of. He stayed in the shadows for a good while, watching the crowd, picking out who he recognized and who was from another school. If he could latch on to a group going inside, he may be able to slip in unnoticed.

But before he had the chance, he saw Tessa step out into the backyard with a few of her girlfriends. Unlike her friends who had wine coolers in their hands, she was carrying a Dr Pepper. Probably because she knew she’d have to drive Doug’s drunk ass home. She smiled at something one of the girls said, but she looked bored, distant.

He waited for her to go off on her own, but the girls were traveling in a pack just like at school. He sighed, knowing he was going to have to suck it up and risk being seen because they weren’t going to leave her side. But what did he have to lose? At worst, she’d ignore him or laugh for the sake of her friends. With one last deep breath, he moved out of the shadow of the hedges and headed her way.

One of her friends, Lexi, noticed him before Tess did. She curled her lip. “What is he doing here?”

Tessa turned, her eyes going wide, her expression panicked. “I don’t know.”

He walked over to the lounge chair she was sitting on. “Hey, y’all know where the d-d-drinks are?”

“Oh my God. Are you even invited?” Lexi asked. “No way Toby invited you.”

“Here, I’ll get you another drink, Tessa. This one looks like it isn’t c-c-cold anymore.”

She sucked in a breath when he wrapped his hand around the soda she was holding. The note he’d tucked in his hand slid into hers. She immediately closed her fist.

“Get the hell away from her,” said a voice from behind him. Doug, of f*cking course.

Kaden lifted his hands in a surrender motion and turned toward Doug with a snide smile. “No problem. J-j-just trying to be helpful to the homecoming queen. Don’t want her drink getting hot.”

“Well, j-j-just get the f-f-f*ck out of here,” he said, spitting with the stuttered words. “I’ll take care of her drinks. You don’t belong here, freak.”

“Leave him alone, Doug,” Tessa cut in. “He was trying to be nice.”

“Yeah, sure he was.” Doug said, sitting down next to Tessa and draping his arm around her like some gorilla marking his territory. “It has nothing to do with the fact that when he leaned forward to get your drink, he could probably see straight down that top you’re wearing. I told you it was too low cut. You’re bringing out the perverts, babe.”

Kaden’s teeth ground against each other. This guy was such a freaking a*shole. Kaden tossed the drink on the ground and turned to head out of the yard. “This party’s l-l-lame anyway.”

The group laughed behind him. But he didn’t give a shit. All he cared about was Tess reading that note.

Fifteen minutes later, Tessa met him at the corner of the neighborhood’s kiddie park. She wrung her hands and kept looking over her shoulder, the moonlight making her look even more drawn and worried. Finally, she pinned him with a stare and wrapped her arms around herself. “What are you doing here? And we need to get out from under the streetlight.”

He took her arm and guided her to a darker spot over by the swing set. She sat on one of the swings and dragged her feet through the mulch.

“Where’s Doug?” he asked, even though it hurt to say the shithead’s name.

“Distracted with his friends.”

“I guess you didn’t tell him anything about what happened last n-n-night.”

She rolled her lips inward and shook her head. “I can’t, Kaden. You know that. I told you.”

“You told me if things were d-d-different, your answer to that may be different.”

She blew out a tired breath. “But things aren’t different.”

He pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket. “What if they were?”

She eyed the envelope warily. “What’s that?”

“I’ve been working since freshman year—tutoring, cutting grass, whatever anyone would p-p-pay me for. I’ve saved every cent for when I go to college. I have over four-thousand dollars in a lockbox in my room, and I know my mom has saved up a little for me on the side that she hasn’t told my stepdad about. I’ve looked into living expenses. I can get an apartment near campus for a few hundred bucks a m-m-month. It’s not going to be fancy or anything, but I can get a two-bedroom. Plus, I’ll get a work-study position, so I’ll be bringing in more money after that. And there’s a community college nearby. These are all the printouts with the information about the school.” He handed her the envelope. “You’ll qualify for financial aid, and it’s not that expensive to take classes there. Especially when you w-w-won’t have to worry about rent and stuff. You can stay with me for free.”

She blinked, peeking down again at the envelope. “Kaden—”

“And I’m not saying you have to d-date me or whatever. I’m not doing this to make you do that. Though, if you want to, you know how I feel.”

She stared at him, shaking her head, her expression stunned. “Why are you doing this?”

He ran a hand over the back of his head, more nervous than he could ever remember being in his life. “I l-l-love you, Tess.”

She closed her eyes like the words had caused physical pain. “Kaden.”

But he could see the tears welling when she lifted her eyes to him again, and he stepped forward into her space and kneeled down in the dirt in front of the swing. He folded the envelope and tucked it in the back pocket of her shorts. She didn’t back away or flinch when he moved his hands to her waist so he kept talking. “I don’t want you to be with Doug just because he can help you with money. He doesn’t deserve you. I can t-t-take care of you.”

She was shaking in his hold. “I can’t ask you to do that. It’s your money. Your life. You worked hard for all of it.”

“And none of it means shit without you, T-Tess. I can’t picture next year without you there. But if you can stand here and tell me that you don’t have f-f-feelings for me, too, I’ll leave you be. I will never try to touch you again. My offer for coming to Dallas and sharing my place stands either way.”

Her tears fell down her cheeks when she blinked this time, her green eyes big and sad in the moonlight. “I can’t just go with you.”

“You can, Tess. All you have to do is say y-yes. Come with me. I c-c-can’t buy you fancy shit like he can, but I can p-promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

He kneeled there, bracing for the gauntlet of no. But instead of finishing her no like he expected her to, she leaned forward and kissed him. The feel of her lips against his made his stomach turn over with relief and pure happiness. She wasn’t running. He’d changed things. Really changed them. It’d worked. He’d made things different.

He slid his hands into her hair and her lips parted, letting him deepen the kiss. God, she was so sweet and pliable in his hold, so goddamned perfect. She could be his. He’d gotten the girl of his dreams. Something would finally work out.

“What the f*ck?”

The booming voice cutting through the silence of the night sent Kaden jumping back to his feet and Tessa hopping off the swing. They turned to find Doug standing at the edge of the park with a few of the people from the party.

“Oh, no,” Tessa said, her hand going over her mouth and fear filling her eyes. “Doug, it’s not—”

“What is he doing with his hands and mouth on you, Tessa?” Doug demanded, his eyes filling with fury.

She lifted her palms to him. “It was nothing, just a misunderstanding.”

“That didn’t look like a misunderstanding. That looked like he was trying to maul you.”

She shook her head.

“Did you tell him no?” he demanded.

Kaden looked to Tessa, his heart pounding hard in his ears. He had no shot in this fight if Doug started one. Kaden was way outnumbered, but he was willing to fight for Tessa if need be. He willed her to tell Doug to f*ck off, that she was with Kaden now. But as he watched the panic envelop her like a fog, saw her gaze jump from one person to the next, the old Tessa he used to know took over.

“I didn’t have a chance. It was just a mistake,” she said softly. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“When a guy tries to put his f*cking hands on you, it is a big deal,” he said, his voice rattling Kaden’s ears. He nailed Kaden with a glare. “I always knew you were a freak. Goddamned rapist in training.”

Kaden clenched his jaw, and Tessa didn’t say anything to defend him.

“Tessa, go back to the house with these guys and find a ride home. Kaden and I need to have a chat.”

“No,” she said, her voice rising. “Don’t hurt him, Doug. He didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t like that. Just let it go.”

Doug grinned, but it had no humor in it. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m not going to hurt him. We’re just going to have a talk to make sure he’s never going to come near you again.”


Tessa looked to Kaden, her frightened rabbit expression tugging at him, but he couldn’t bear to meet her eyes. She wasn’t standing up and telling the truth. She was letting all these people think he’d tried to take advantage of her. She wasn’t going to come with him to Dallas. She never had planned to. That kiss was going to be her kiss good-bye.

“Just go, Tess,” he said quietly. “I’ll be f-f-fine.”

“Kaden—”

He lifted his gaze to hers. “Go b-b-back and be with your friends, homecoming queen. Your court awaits.”

She winced like he’d backhanded her. And he immediately regretted the snark in his voice. But he couldn’t stop the emotions from spilling out. He’d pinned everything on tonight, had hoped that if he could really make things different, he could change the path for them both. But it’d been stupid to hope.

Things never changed. People were who they were. He was the freak and she was the future debutante. Their worlds would never fit together.

He would never fit.

And it probably wouldn’t matter because based on how Doug was staring at him, he may not make it through the night.

Tessa left with the group, peering back over her shoulder one last time, and Kaden waited for her to be out of sight. Then he did the only thing he could do. He ran. Like a coward. He knew Doug had no interest in talking. This was going to be a conversation of fists. He wasn’t stronger than Doug. The dude lifted weights daily for football. But he hoped he might be faster.

However, when he ran into the woods behind the high school, he could hear Doug calling his name from not far behind. Branches cut at Kaden’s face as he raced through the trees in the dark. He figured if he could make it home he could lock himself inside and call the cops. His house wouldn’t be far once he made it to the main road. But his Vans were no match for the gnarled roots and slippery ground of the forest floor. His foot caught a raised root, turning his ankle, and he went sprawling face-first to the ground. All his air left him as he hit.

He did his best to scramble upward, but before he could, a foot planted against his spine and shoved him back to the ground. He landed with an oof and pain shot up his back.

“Where you going, freak? Think you could outrun me. That proves you’re not just a freak but stupid.”

“F*ck off,” he ground out.

“Excuse me?” His booted foot swung into Kaden’s ribs with a painful crack. “Someone needs to teach you manners, son.”

Kaden’s knees pulled up and he rolled into the fetal position, the pain blinding him for a second. He tried to curl tight, protecting his midsection from another blow.

“You trying to take advantage of my girl?” Doug asked, his voice disconcertingly calm. “Think she could ever want a piece of shit like you when she has someone like me?”

“I’m n-n-not t-t-trying to take advantage of her,” he said, hoping to placate him, willing to suck up the humiliation if it meant he wouldn’t get kicked again. He needed to get up, get away, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. Knives of agony were stabbing his lungs.

“You’re n-n-not?” Doug mocked and kicked him again. Harder. “Then why is she kissing the guy who’s supposed to be her tutor?”

Kaden yelped even though he hated letting Doug know he’d hurt him. But that time he knew a rib had been broken. Tears sprung to his eyes, the sheer pain making it impossible to breathe.

“Yeah, I knew about that. I let it go because her parents are riding her about her grades. And I figured you weren’t worth worrying about. But Tessa’s weak. I realize that now. She buys into your poor me crap. She pities you and is mistaking that for feelings.” He shoved him in the side with his heel, flipping him onto his stomach and sending agony through his ribcage. Doug wrenched Kaden’s arms behind him and looped his belt around his wrists. Kaden tried to fight back but every movement made him want to weep. The pain made his head spin. “But you have nothing to offer her. You’re a f*cking p-ssy, Fowler. You can’t even protect yourself, how would you take care of her?”

The toe of Doug’s boot made contact with his side and Kaden tasted blood. He tried to crawl away but it was near impossible without the use of his hands. He was going to die out here. Doug loomed over him and pulled him onto his knees.

“At least be man enough to look me in the eye and apologize.”

Kaden refused to lift his head and Doug started in with his fists. When knuckles crashed into his jaw, Kaden knew he was close to losing consciousness.

Doug crouched low, getting in his face. “Apologize, you pathetic piece of shit.”

Kaden spat blood in his face and Doug roared, backhanding him.

Kaden choked, his chest wheezing with effort. Black edged his vision. He forced words out through gasping breaths. “I’m sorry. Please. Just stop. Can’t breathe.”

“Oh, what was that? I couldn’t hear you,” he mocked.

Kaden swayed on his knees, half-hoping that if he passed out Doug would stop and go away, the fun gone, but he didn’t put it past the guy to kill him in cold blood. He swallowed down any pride he had left, hoping to survive the night. “I’m s-s-sorry, Doug. Please, just stop. I’ll leave her alone. I’ll do whatever you want. Just. Stop.”

Doug grinned and his teeth seemed to glow and sharpen in the dark. “Is that right? You’ll do whatever I want.”

Kaden’s vision blurred, two versions of Doug dancing before him. He closed his eyes, pleading. “Yes. Please. Stop.”

But Doug wasn’t going to be appeased that easily. The humiliation wasn’t complete. The sound of a zipper brought Kaden back from the edge of consciousness. His eyelids snapped open, though one was already starting to swell, and he watched in abject horror as Doug pulled his dick out of his pants.

Pure panic seized Kaden, and he tried to scramble to his feet, the pain in his ribs like daggers slicing through his organs. But Doug just shoved him back down and laughed. “Where you going, a*shole? I’m not done with you. Ready to show me what a p-ssy you are? Or maybe I should say cocksucker. I know that’s why you stutter. All that dick you suck.”

Kaden gagged both on blood and fear, choking out his words. “You’ll have to kill me first.”

“A valid option,” Doug said with a sneer. “But you’re not worth jail time.”

Kaden spit blood at him again, using the last shred of energy he had and Doug hit him in the side of the head, knocking him to the ground. He couldn’t move. He’d been beaten until his ribs had cracked and he could barely breathe. He wasn’t going to make it out of these woods. And that end would’ve been welcome because the next thing that happened was worse than death. Doug grabbed Kaden by the hair, took his dick in his hand, and forced it down Kaden’s throat. It was sweaty and hard and disgusting. Doug laughed at him, calling him a bitch, and telling him to act like a good one. Kaden tried to bite down but Doug yanked on his hair and told him if he used teeth, he’d put him in the dirt and f*ck him with one of the fallen tree branches. Kaden gagged and choked, fighting for breath and the urge to upchuck, but Doug was enjoying it all, getting off on Kaden’s ultimate humiliation. When Doug came, Kaden did vomit, then he blacked out.

When he woke up, he was naked, tied up, and bleeding under the bleachers of the school’s football field. And he’d had no idea how he’d gotten there, where his clothes had gone, or what Doug had done after he’d passed out. He refused to talk to the groundskeeper who’d found him. Everyone would already know who’d beaten him. Nobody would tell. Including him. There were some things you never wanted to relive, things you never wanted anyone to know, things you didn’t even want to acknowledge in your own mind had happened. And that morning as they patched him up in the hospital and asked him a hundred questions, he’d slammed the vault shut on that night. His secret would stay in those woods. Buried. Along with that boy who was bullied. He would never let anyone have that kind of control over him again. He would never be weak or vulnerable. He would become someone else.

Kaden Fowler died that day.

Doug Barrett had killed him.