The lights dim and the fans start screaming. There’s excitement in the air, I can feel it coursing through me. Today I can be a fan without having to make sure the guys are taken care of, Ralph will do that tonight.
Josie stands on her chair and whistles as Liam takes the stage.
“Hey baby,” he says into the microphone, making all the women go nuts. Too bad he’s only talking to her. I shake my head and start laughing. It’s like those two were never apart.
I decide to stand on my chair too or I won’t be able to see. I’m praying no one will bump into me. The last thing I need is to do a table dive. Jimmy comes out next and instantly starts flirting with some of the women in the front row. He holds one of their hands and leans down to their ear. Who knows what he’s saying, probably giving her his number. I’m honestly surprised that he’s not more of a PR nightmare. Some days he acts like a family man and the next, he’s the man-whore of the group.
Harrison comes on stage last. He’s switched from a beanie to a baseball cap that he’s wearing backward. I remember very clearly the last time I saw his hat like that. I hold my breath when he looks out into the crowd. Is he looking for me? Half of me wants him to, but the other half wills him to find someone that can give him what he wants.
Harrison makes a few adjustments before he spins his sticks in between his fingers, then he claps them together and counts to four. I look over at Josie, who is nodding her head and yelling at Liam.
The song is new, something I’ve never heard before. Josie seems to know the lyrics because she’s singing right along. My heart aches with love for Liam and Josie. He has this talent and is able to write songs about her. I can’t even make it a day without thinking about what Mason’s voice sounded like and how I’ll never hear the words I love you said to me again, and here’s my best friend, being sung to like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do for her.
The words of the song are touching, about how his heart trumped his mind and that he should’ve known better. I move to the beat of the song, swaying back and forth as I watch Harrison pound on the drums. I can’t tell if he’s looking out to the crowd or not. I wish he would, even just for a moment. Maybe I’d wave and he’d smile. Liam sings about love being a sure thing and I wish things were that simple.
Moving on should be simple. Picking up the pieces and opening a new door to my life should be easy. So why isn’t it? Why am I second-guessing everything? I sit down and grab another beer. I need to drown my sorrows or at least keep the voices out of my head. I can’t love another man. I just can’t.
For each song the guys play, I drink at least two beers. Too much talk about broken hearts, love, sex and life. Ralph refills the bucket and Josie eyes me. I shouldn’t have come. Listening to them sing is far different from being backstage and working for them. I should be working – that’s what I should be doing – not sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
The guys play a few more songs before taking a break. The crowd disperses. I look on as the chick from earlier paws all over Jimmy. He loves it though, so I guess until he finds the right one, he’ll test them all. Men!
Josie sits down next to me, her face red and sweaty from dancing. She pulls out a beer and holds it against her head. I lean into her, my head resting on her shoulder.
“I love you.” My voice is probably too low for her to hear me.
“Are you drunk?”
I look at the bottle caps lined up and nod.
“You’re lucky, you know that.”
“I know, but why do you think so?” she asks as she pops the top and takes a drink.
“He writes songs about you. That new one… I don’t know, it made me think.”
“Are you talking about the first song they played?”
I lift my head a bit too fast. The room spins. Josie nudges my shoulder. When I look at her she’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Liam didn’t write that song,” she says, laughing. “Harrison did.”
“Why would he write a song like that?” I ask confused.
Josie raises her bottle to her lips and drinks. “That boy has a crush.”
“He does? On who?” My heart aches a little knowing he’s found someone. I know I kept blowing him off, but I didn’t expect him to give up so soon and move on.
“Katelyn, are you serious?”
“Yes,” I push out of my thick tongue. I don’t want to cry but my feelings are hurt.
Before Josie can answer me, the guys are sitting at our table. Well, Liam and Harrison are.
“Aren’t you going to play some more?”
“No, short set tonight,” Liam says before he pulls Josie close to him. She says something to him. He eyes me and Harrison and starts laughing. That’s my cue. I’m not going to watch them act like this and I’m sure Harrison wants to hang out with his new girlfriend.
“Well I’m outta here,” I say, pushing my chair back.
“She’s drunk,” Josie blurts out. I roll my eyes and pull out my phone. Harrison leans back, eyeing me up and down.
“I’ll call a cab.” I shake my phone in front of them.