As soon as my phone starts ringing, I’m moving out of the room and upstairs to our bedroom. “Hello?”
“Hey, I got your message.”
His words give me pause. He sounds curt and disinterested.
“Are you busy?”
“Not at the moment,” he sighs, sending me into high alert.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, knowing something is bothering him.
“Same ole shit, just a different day.”
“Right.” I close the door to our room and sit down on our bed. This room is too big for one person and feels so empty without Liam here. I’m starting to hate it.
“Um…” I clear my throat. “Why do you want a divorce?” My voice is barely above a whisper and tears are streaming down my face as I ask the question.
He doesn’t say anything, but I can hear rustling around in the background. Is he with her now?
“Li –”
“Josie, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“This guy called and asked if I could confirm that you filed for divorce.”
“And what did you say?”
“What does it matter? Answer the question, Liam. Do you want a divorce?”
“Goddamn it, Jojo. Why the fuck would I want a divorce? Do you really think I’d go to some slime ball fucking reporter to tell them before I talked to you first? Is that what you think of me?”
“No, but the pictures I saw…”
Whatever Liam was doing, he’s now still. There’s nothing but static air between us.
“Liam?”
“What?”
“Do you love her?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He yells into the phone. “How many times I have I told you never to read those shitty ass columns?”
“That doesn’t discount the fact that you kissed her!” I fire back.
“I DIDN’T FUCKING KISS HER!” He’s yelling something in the background that I can’t understand. “For fuck’s sake, I gave her a hug. She jumped into my arms when I opened the door and those sorry excuses for humans took a bunch of pictures. Those bastards did everything they could to change the images around. It was a hug.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I knew I should’ve, but it’s sort of hard to explain over the phone and I kind of counted on you not looking at the tabloids. Every excuse I have is stupid. But Jojo, you need to listen to me... and listen good... I love you. I am one hundred percent committed to you. I’m committed to our family. You’re the only woman I think about, baby. I don’t like doing this shit over the phone, Josie, and I really hate that you’ve been crying.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Good, you should be. If you can’t trust me, how are we going to survive? All they’re doing is testing you, trying to make you break. I promise you, if at any time I’m not happy, I’ll tell you, just as I expect you to do the same for me.”
“I’m so scared I’m going to lose you,” I tell him through sobs.
“The only way I’m leaving is if you’re telling me to.”
He knows that will never happen, unless he does something stupid and I’m left with no choice. Before we hang up, he tells me that he loves me and that he plans to video chat after Noah goes to bed because he’s all worked up and needs to see my boobs. I can’t help but laugh.
I startle awake and drop my phone onto my face. I must’ve fallen asleep after Liam and I hung up earlier. I hit the home button to see if I’ve missed any calls. I missed one, but not from Liam. Aubrey called. I press her name and wait for the call to connect.
“Josie, thanks for calling me back.”
“Of course.”
I leave our bedroom and walk down the stairs. I’m not sure how long I was out for, but it’s dark out and I can faintly hear the TV.
“I spoke with Meredith earlier and… Oh, Josie, there’s no easy way to say this... but she’s decided to keep the baby herself.”
I stop dead in my tracks and squeeze the phone even tighter. “What?”
Aubrey covers the phone, talking to whoever else is in the room. It’s likely Nick, and I hope she’s not sharing this news with him, although the chances are she’s already told him.
“The boyfriend, he’s back and wants to marry her. I had to give her all the options and encouraged her to make the right choice for the baby. I told her that a new marriage could be hard with a newborn, but she’s adamant and came by the office today to withdraw her consent for adoption.”
“Oh…”
“I have others that will be suitable –”
“No, Aubrey. It’s okay. Liam’s not home and I… its okay, Aubrey. Thanks for calling.” I hang up and sit on the steps. There are no tears left to shed and after the day I’ve had, I’m completely numb.
Bianca appears in the bottom of the steps, she peers around the corner. I can’t tell if she’s gauging my reaction to her standing there or not. I try and smile, letting her know its okay to come and talk. If she’s here putting in an effort, I will also. “Are you okay?”