“If you didn’t sign in with your seat number, please let me know.” She holds up a clipboard, but there are no takers. “My name is Wendy and I’ll be your moderator today. To keep things orderly, please raise your hand and I’ll call out your seat number.”
Burke appears with glasses and pitchers of water. “What about the vodka?” I ask, but get no reply. I lean into Layla and ask her if she’s ready for this. When I hear shutters clicking, I know I’ve made a grave mistake. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, only to feel her hand on my knee. Thank God for tablecloths or I’d be more screwed than I already am.
“Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to the panel. First we have Adam, Lem, Chett and Dex from Wild Nobility.” Wendy, helpfully, sheds light as to who the other four musicians are before introducing Layla and then us to the waiting crowd. “Okay, now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s begin,” Wendy says to the delight of the audience. Hands fly up into the air and I use this opportunity to fill my water glass and drink it down before I have to answer any questions.
“Number twenty-seven,” Wendy calls out.
“How do you find time to balance your personal and professional life?”
I look at Layla who is answering first. She smiles and leans into the microphone. “Being a songwriter, it’s easy for me to be a mom first. I write when the lyrics are in my head, but I don’t have to be in a certain location to do that. I always have my phone with me and can easily make notes on that if inspiration strikes.”
I take a deep breath and pull the microphone to me. “We work nine to five like everyone else, but with the flexibility of taking time off when needed for our kids.”
“We’re not just a band, but a family. Our family comes first,” Harrison adds.
“We’re far too busy to have personal lives,” Dex, one of the guys on the end answers. Someone should tell them that being in love and having kids will trump being in a band any day.
“Number four.”
“Do you ever give in to temptations, or find yourself battling them?”
“I got into some trouble early on in my career, but once I could get those under control, I’ve been okay. Right now, my only temptation is men.” Layla has the crowd eating out of her hand with her answers and the women laugh at her response. “It’s hard to keep my hands off a good looking man.”
“Since I moved out of LA a few years ago, I’ve been happy and living a great life. My only temptation is my wife.”
Harrison and JD answers are similar to mine while the guys from Wild Nobility talk about how they battle with urges every day. They might want to think about rehab.
Hands fly up in the air and Wendy says, “Number fifteen.”
“This question is for Liam and Layla. Liam, you had a very close relationship with Layla when you were starting out in the business. How does it feel to work with her again after all these years?”
“Layla and I didn’t work together so this will be our first time. We were just friends.”
“With benefits,” someone yells out.
I clear my throat and sit up a bit taller. “As I said, we were friends. Harrison and Layla had more of a working relationship.”
This is why I don’t do interviews, because people can’t just ask questions about music. They have to get personal. I take a drink of my water and fiddle with my bracelet.
“Number one.”
“How do you describe your perfect day?”
“The sun is shining, lyrics are flowing and my daughter is happy,” Layla answers and then I’m up next.
“My perfect day would be with my wife and son. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as we’re together.”
“I’m the same as Liam. Being with my wife and kids makes every day perfect.”
“Ah, I’m happy when I’m with my Little One or when my missus is walking about starkers.”
“Jesus, JD,” I say, causing everyone to laugh.
“Number three.”
“What is the worst rumor you’ve heard about yourself?”
We all start to laugh because where do you even start?
“That I had died from a drug overdose on stage,” Layla says. I look at her and she shrugs. I hadn’t heard that one, although I really wasn’t paying attention all these years.
“Um… for me, I guess it would have to be…” The rumor I hate the most is the one I’m constantly emailed about: Are you cheating on your wife? I never answer them, which is probably code for: I am. Thing is, I can’t say that now because they’ll run with it and twist my words. I do what every musician is expected to do; I lie. “Mine would be the constant rumors about my many stints in rehab. I’ve never been in one, nor have I ever been addicted to drugs.”
“Are there any rumors about me?” Leave it to Harrison to be perfect.
“That I’m gay,” JD says.
“We all know that’s not true,” a female voice rings out.
“Damn right, love.”