And now that I’m here, the panic was well warranted. The band has treated the locals very well. If they’re not playing for free, they’re donating their time and money to different causes. Just last week, they were the hosts of a cancer walk that brought in the most money ever raised in Beaumont. When Liam moved back, and was subsequently followed by Harrison and Jimmy, I thought for sure that the paparazzi would be everywhere. At first they were, but Liam has made it a point not to hide. The only place he, Noah and I are off limits is at home. Anywhere else he’ll smile for the camera or give a quick interview if they ask him to. In turn, they leave Noah and me alone.
As of late, the photographers and journalists have been few and far between. I hadn’t even noticed until Liam expressed a strong desire to return to Los Angeles to revive their careers. I had become so comfortable in my role as his wife that I hadn’t realized that his career was suffering. His nights spent in the studio, long after Noah and I have gone to bed, haven’t gone unnoticed. I just didn’t know the band was losing its grip on the charts. I’ve been living blindly, or Liam has been sheltering me. Either way, it’s not good for our marriage and it’s definitely not good for his career.
When we married, I knew what I was getting into. I never asked him to stop, and even if I did, I don’t think he would’ve. Music is his outlet. It’s his release. Liam loves me unconditionally, but his music is what grounds him. It’s really no different from his football days. In front of a crowd, he’s king. Their cheers fuel his body. He needs them as much as I need him.
I once read an article written by another musician’s wife in which she explained it was only after their divorce that she realized the music was her competition. It wasn’t the booze, drugs or other women, but the music. Her words gave me pause. Her words reminded me that being married to someone like Liam, someone who is competitive, driven, stubborn, and compassionate about all things in life, is like being married to multiple people. Liam, himself, reminded me of that the other night. When he’s on stage, he’s Liam Page: A performer. When he’s with me, with Noah, with our friends and away from the music, he’s Liam Westbury. Accepting one without the other is not possible.
The shattering of ceramic grabs my attention. My eyes dart around the room, looking for the cause of the commotion. David gives me a sheepish look before he starts to clean up the broken mug. Having started last fall, along with Dana and Sarah, he’s been working here for almost a year. I don’t know what I’m going to do without them come summer. They’ll go home once the college semester is done, and I’ll be rallying Katelyn and Jenna to come in and work. Even if they agree, it’ll only be temporary. Their lives have changed so much in the past few years, and neither of them have to work. Technically none of us do, but I can’t give up the café or the flower shop. They were my dreams, and I followed them, just as Liam followed his.
A single tear falls from my eye, catching me off guard. I’ve been an emotional roller coaster since Liam said he was leaving. Last time we went with the band, but it’s not possible now. I’m afraid to ask how long he’s going to be gone. By the evidence left in our closet, he’s planning for the long haul.
It’s hard for me to understand why this woman means so much to him. I get that she gave him a shot, but I can’t help thinking this is a bad case of keeping strings attached. His life is here, with me. I need him here, not gallivanting around Los Angeles playing gigs to raise money for a rundown bar. His big heart can stay here and help Ralph’s, even if it’s running better than ever because of the support the band gives it.
I have goose bumps on my arms before he even walks in the door. How, after all this time, can Liam affect me like this? He pauses and looks at me. His lower lip is tucked between his teeth and his head is angled just enough to cause the butterflies in my stomach to start fluttering. I take him in, all of him, with his torn up jeans hanging low on his hips, to his button down shirt showing just the beginning of the J of his tattoo. His sleeves are rolled up, adding definition to his arms, but it’s his left hand that catches my attention. His freshly polished wedding band is the focal point. I put that there, and he wears it proudly. I hate that he didn’t shave. I hate that I’m going to miss running my fingers through his stubble tonight and all I’ll be able to do is imagine the feel of his skin against mine. My memory is going to have to be on point while he’s gone and he knows that. He’s standing there while Harrison and Jimmy filter around him, letting me drink him in, allowing me to burn him into my memory for later.
“God, your husband is hot.”
“I know,” I answer in kind to Dana. When I look at her, I swear I spot a bit of drool coming out of her mouth. I don’t blame her. I go to bed with this man every night and here I am staring like a horny teenager wondering how I’m going to get that guy’s number. If I weren’t married to him, I’d be figuring out a way.
Behind him, Noah walks in dressed similarly to Liam. My mouth drops open causing Liam to chuckle. I want to go over and ask the men in my life what’s going on, but something tells me that I need to stay where I am. Liam says something to Noah, who looks at me and winks. I cover my mouth in shock and elation. Seeing them together like this is magical.
“I hope you have a shotgun,” Dana says.