“What?” Cassie said.
“You’re making dinner with Erin? Is she somehow visiting without me or Parker knowing about it?”
“Oh, no,” Cassie said. “We’re gonna FaceTime and cook together.”
“And you think that is normal?”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “She looked at one of the apartments today and is gonna tell me what she thinks.”
“God, could you be dating any harder?”
Acacia did this to her like once a week, she swore.
“We’re not dating, Kaysh.”
“I literally don’t understand how you think you’re not.”
“Because we aren’t, and neither of us want to,” Cassie said.
“Have you even fucked anyone except Erin since Seth?” Acacia asked.
“Of course I have,” Cassie scoffed.
There were plenty of weekends right after Seth where she’d gone home with people. When she thought about it, though—there had been other people since Seth, yes, but since Erin? Since that first night in the bar at Family Weekend? She’d made out with Emerson and tried to feel Gwen up at a party. That was it. She couldn’t quite believe it, but that was it.
She didn’t like thinking about it, and she didn’t like the look Acacia gave her, so she pushed back.
“Even if I did want to date her, how would that work? How would I date my friend’s mom who lives in New Hampshire?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Acacia said, faux confused. “Probably you’d text her every day and cook dinner together on FaceTime and get a job in Boston to spend time—”
“That’s low,” Cassie interrupted. “I got the job because it’s fucking great. It has nothing to do with Erin.”
Acacia’s shoulders slumped. “I know, you’re right. I’m sorry. But I’m just saying that it’s possible—”
“It doesn’t matter that it’s possible; I don’t want to date Parker’s mom.”
Her stomach twisted. This whole conversation made her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to date Erin. She didn’t want to date anyone.
“Being aromantic is a thing, you know?” Cassie said.
Acacia glared at her. “Don’t commandeer a real identity just because you’re afraid of getting hurt.”
Cassie decided maybe she wouldn’t talk to Acacia about Erin anymore.
* * *
She did actually manage to avoid talking to Kaysh about Erin. Busy buckling down for finals and arrangements for the summer, they didn’t have time for lectures on feelings.
Erin helped her land an apartment that Cassie had no idea how she was going to fill with stuff. It wasn’t even a studio. But that was the only bad thing about the place. She’d be able to walk to work, plus the apartment came with a parking spot for when she bought a motorbike once she settled in—she needed something to get her up to Nashua on weekends to hang out with Parker. Among other things.
With only a few weeks of her college career left, Cassie lay spread across the floor of Parker and Acacia’s dorm. There were so many things she should’ve been doing. She closed her eyes instead.
“When are you done with school stuff?” Parker asked.
“Graduation is Sunday, even though I technically still have my calc exam Monday and neurobio Tuesday,” Cassie said. “I don’t even know if I’m gonna walk.”
“Why would you not walk?” Cassie’s eyes were still closed, but Parker suddenly sounded like she was paying more attention.
“Who wants to sweat in one of those robes while professors drone on about how we’re gonna change the world?” She shrugged. “Though Upton will probably be pissed if I skip it.”
“I’ll be pissed if you skip it, Klein,” Acacia said. “I already bought the air horn.”
Cassie looked at her best friend, who was studying on the futon, her laptop and textbook open in front of her. “Kaysh, I’m like 90 percent sure air horns are not allowed.”
Acacia raised her eyebrows, unimpressed.
“Surely your family’s coming, though, right?” Parker asked Acacia.
“My parents are going to a wedding that weekend, and Emerson can’t afford it.”
It was fine, obviously, that they couldn’t come. Cassie had never even asked them. When they had asked about graduation weekend so they could plan their schedule, she’d asked why. She hadn’t expected them to come, so it didn’t matter that they couldn’t. It would’ve been fun, sure, but no big deal.
“You’re absolutely walking, though,” Acacia was still talking. “Because we’re still gonna come.”
Cassie scowled. “You’re really gonna make me put on that stupid gown just to walk across a stage and get handed something that doesn’t even have my diploma in it because I won’t officially have passed all my classes yet?”
“Yeah. You’re gonna put on the gown, and take pictures, and deal with us making a goddamn fuss about you because graduating from college is a big fucking deal.”
Cassie could acknowledge that, if she thought about it rationally. Objectively. It just felt weird, celebrating something that was only step one in her plan. Couldn’t go to grad school if you didn’t graduate college first.
Grad school. That was how she’d been thinking about it lately, instead of Caltech. She’d always called it Caltech. Fake it till you make it or speaking it into existence or something. She’d just … never thought she’d go anywhere else.
Now, though, she had acceptance letters from every school she’d applied to. Caltech’s came in last week. She still hadn’t told anyone.
She didn’t have to tell Caltech yes until August. It felt … safer, maybe? To wait. She didn’t know what her job was going to be like over the summer. What if she realized what she wanted her specialty to be, and Caltech wasn’t the best for it?
“Can’t we just, like, get brunch and go bouldering or something?” Cassie didn’t even like bouldering that much, but she had to tempt Acacia with something.
“We can do those things and you can walk.”
“Okay, whatever, we can fight about this later,” Parker cut in. “I was just asking because my mom was wondering when we were arriving.”
Cassie squinted at her. “What?”
“Is neurobio your last exam? Are you done Tuesday?”
“Yes,” she dragged out the word, not sure what Parker was plotting.
“I don’t finish until Wednesday. You wanna leave Friday?”
“What?”
Parker sighed like Cassie was being insufferable. “When do you want to drive to Nashua? We can do it in a day. It’ll be long, but we could make it by dinner.”
“No offense, princess, but what the hell are you talking about? Driving to Nashua?”
“Do you have another way you want to get there?”
“I didn’t know I was going.”
Parker rolled her eyes. “What—you thought you’d fly to Boston and set up your apartment by yourself?”
Well. Yeah. That was one of the many things Cassie was supposed to be doing instead of lying on the floor. She had an alert set for ticket prices. She figured she would have to empty her pockets for a plane ticket, plus luggage fees, packing everything she owned.