I wait until Cade leaves to speak. “You and Cade are good parents,” I say.
“Yeah, we are,” she says, leaning forward, her voice dropping to a whisper. “But we’re not saints, Autumn. You have no idea how far from saints we are.”
I can’t help but laugh. Yeah, right. Because June, the sweet little bed and breakfast owner, is totally a badass.
“Seriously, Autumn,” she says. “Go have a wild one-night-stand -- or a few nights. Or make him your boyfriend if you want. And if you need Cade and I to babysit Olivia so you can have an actual, real-life date, we will.”
My eyes go wide. “I’m not making him my boyfriend,” I say. “He’s just…a fling. At most. Maybe not even that.”
“Uh-huh,” she says. “If he’s just a fling, then why do you care what happened this morning?”
Damn it. I swallow hard. June is right.
“Exactly,” she says, as if she can read my mind. “You know I’m correct. And don’t eff it all up just because you’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid,” I protest, automatically, obviously lying.
“Of course you are. You like him.”
“I can’t like him,” I say. “I don’t know him.”
“Well, you can remedy that part of things, now can’t you?” she says. “Getting to know someone is easy enough.”
“Easy for you to say.” I cross my arms over my chest and give June a sullen glare, aware I’m being ridiculous, but she just laughs.
“I’m quite sure you’ll manage just fine,” she says.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Luke
“Where the fuck have you been?” Elias’ voice greets me even before I get out of the truck. I don’t answer, don’t look at any of them standing there in my damn driveway, because I don't want to deal with them right now. Lucy starts to run excitedly toward my brothers, before getting distracted by a squirrel and running off in the opposite direction.
“I don’t need shit from you, Elias, so lay the hell off.” I’m on edge from this morning, practically crawling out of my skin on the drive home from Autumn’s place. What happened this morning shouldn't matter. It was a bullshit argument after a bullshit one-night-stand, and that was it. It shouldn’t get under my skin.
And it shouldn’t have me this edgy now, twenty minutes later. I tell myself that she means nothing to me.
Friends, she said. I don’t have friends – not of the girl variety.
“He has his panties in a bunch over some chick he’s banging,” Silas says, supposedly talking to his twin, but says it loudly, so I can hear.
All I hear is the part about banging some chick. I walk straight toward Silas, and shove him backward. “I said, fuck off.”
“What the hell, Luke?” Silas lunges for me, and then Killian and Elias are between us.
“Both of you,” Killian says. “Shut the hell up. Now.”
“Then tell him to stop being such a fucking asshat,” Silas yells.
“Oh yeah, I’m totally the ass –“
Killian smacks me hard in the chest. “Shut up before I knock both of you idiots out,” he says. “Our mother kept a diary.”
My blood is pumping so loudly in my ears that it takes a second to register. “A diary,” I say.
“We found it,” Elias says. “River and I did. Everything is in there.”
Everything’s in there.
“What?” I ask. “Show me.”
I’m struck by a sudden, overwhelming sense of guilt. I’d stuck around in West Bend after my mother’s suicide, because I’d thought something was off about it. I’d even gone and poked around the old house, at least until I couldn’t stand being there anymore -- until the darkness of the place threatened to envelop me, even in the middle of the daytime. It reeked of memories of the past, shit I didn’t want to think about anymore.
Since then, I’ve been distracted by Autumn…
Killian claps me hard on the back, jolting me out of my thoughts. “Elias has the diary.”
Family, I remind myself. That’s why I’m here. I'm not here to be distracted by a woman.
“You were right,” Elias says, handing me the notebook. “It wasn’t a suicide. Jed killed her.”
“We assume Jed killed her,” Silas says. “The journal implies it.”
“Whatever,” Killian says. “We know it was Jed. We could easily take care of it.”
“Yeah, man,” Elias says. “That’d be real fucking smart, seeing as he’s the sheriff and all. Why don’t you go take his ass out right in front of the mayor’s office, while you're at it? I’m sure that’ll work out well.”
“Shit, start seeing a movie star and all of a sudden you’re all ‘think logically’ and ‘don’t commit murder, Killian’,” he says.
“Shut up for a damn second," I say, opening the journal. “I can’t even hear myself think.”
“You think?” Silas asks. “I wasn’t even sure you could read.”
I glare at him. “I’m going to kick your fucking ass in two seconds if you don’t shut your mouth.”