Love Realized (The Real Love Series)

chapter TWENTY-SEVEN

After three long days in the hospital, Jake was finally able to take Gillian home. He knew she was way past ready to get out of there, but he assumed that the doctor was keeping her longer than necessary. The doctor and the rest of his staff clearly had cared a little more for Gillian than their average patient, and even though she wanted out of there, he was glad they kept such a close eye on her. Her shoulder was feeling better every day, but she still had lots of recovery time ahead of her. Jake was thankful that her body wasn’t showing any signs of aborting the pregnancy, which the doctor said was a normal risk for any woman, let alone a woman who had experienced the trauma that she did.

He recalled the long conversation he had with Gillian about making sure she didn’t disregard any possible symptom, as far as her pain or healing process. Jake wasn’t an idiot, and his training told him that if she were to start cramping, there was nothing that could be done to save the pregnancy. And damn, did he want to make sure nothing happened to it. It was hard not to get excited about the pregnancy; just the fact that she conceived when she wasn’t supposed to be able to told Jake that it was meant to be. But he knew the risks, so for now, he would take it one day at a time.

Jake had everything prepared for her homecoming and was just getting back to the hospital with a change of clothes that Allie had packed for her. He still had a little anxiety over being away from her, but felt she was in good hands since the nursing staff barely took their eyes off her. If she hadn’t specifically requested the items he carried with him now, he wouldn’t have left her at all. Fortunately, that special treatment Gillian was getting as a patient here rolled over to him as well. Since he wouldn’t leave her at night, they brought in a bed for him to sleep on—not that he wouldn’t have just slept on the floor, or even standing in the corner, if he had to. He wasn’t joking with her when he said that he didn’t want to let her out of his sight.

When he closed his eyes, he could still see what she looked like covered in blood as she sat propped up against that wall. A cold shiver worked its way up his spine as he threw himself back to that moment, but he quickly shook it off. Yeah, he knew that image would stay with him for a while to come, but it had only happened three days ago—it was still too fresh. Until he got over that, he would just have to stay as close to her as possible.

Once arriving on her floor, his anticipation increased as he stepped off the elevator. Turning the corner toward her room, he found Logan sitting in a chair outside her door—in the same position he had been in each and every time he came to the hospital with the kids. He was hunched to the side, somber expression on his face, his chin resting in one hand. Jake hadn’t heard him speak since the shooting, not that Jake was seeking him out for full conversations or anything.

No, as much as Jake wanted to inflict pain on the guy for everything that had happened, he knew he didn’t have to. Logan was punishing himself enough. He knew that his actions set what happened to Gillian in motion. Why attack a man when he was already at rock bottom? As Jake approached, Logan looked up and made eye contact with him, then immediately looked down. Jake didn’t like seeing his friend look like this, but there really wasn’t anything he could do about it; he would have to work that out on his own. However, he did need to address the issue that Logan had yet to see Gillian, and she was asking about him. She was worried about Logan, therefore, Jake was going to try and do something to help alleviate her worry.

Pulling up the chair next to Logan, Jake set her bag down on the floor beside it before taking a seat. Logan didn’t say anything to him—just kept his head down. It was the first time that Jake noticed the man hadn’t shaved in days and pretty much looked like shit. Shaking his head at that he asked, “You go in and see her yet?”

Logan sighed and shook his head in response. Jake didn’t like the fact that Logan would worry Gillian even more if she saw him like this, so he decided it was time to try and snap Logan out this mood. “Good, ‘cause you look like shit man. When was the last time you showered and shaved? You can’t go in and see her like this, looking like that.”

Turning his attention toward Jake, Logan finally spoke, “I'm not going in to see her, so don’t worry about it.”

“Why did you come here if you weren’t going in to see her?”

“The kids. I brought Madison here to be with her.”

“Okay, good. Now go home, clean yourself up, and get back over to her place so she can see that you’re okay,” Jake demanded of him.

Logan looked surprised by Jake’s order and asked, “What? Why?”

The desire to smack the man he had known since high school was hard to control as Jake realized he had to spell it out for the guy. Once again shaking his head at the man, “You know for someone who was married to her for as long as you were, you sure don’t know her, do you?”

Jake could see the heat and anger rise in Logan’s eyes as he absorbed what Jake said. He was glad that he had another expression other than pathetic—this version of him was easier to tolerate. So it didn’t bother Jake when Logan growled at him, “What the f*ck is that supposed to mean, Jake?”

“It means that if you knew Gillian at all, you would know that she‘s been worried about you, and if she saw you like this, it would only upset her more. Now quit being a selfish a*shole and snap the f*ck out of it! Go home, clean up, and come over to see her. Your front door is now fifty yards from her front door, so the effort is minimal.”

Logan slumped down in his chair, but Jake wasn’t sure why. After a few moments of silence, Logan said in a low, pained voice as he hung his head again, “I don’t deserve to see her, Jake. I know that. So I'm not going to pretend that I belong anywhere within ten feet of her.”

“I'm not going to argue with you there, man; you don’t deserve to be within ten feet of Gillian. You’re lucky that my desire to physically harm you has lessened over the past three days. Partially because I can see that you are well aware of how at fault you are, but that’s just about us. This needs to be about Gillian. She wants to see you; she wants to know you’re all right. You know that she worries about her family, and just because you aren’t her husband anymore, doesn’t change the fact that you were. So pull your head out of your ass for a minute and see that this is about her, not you.”

Jake couldn’t see Logan’s face, but he assumed he was processing what Jake said. It was irritating to think he had to convince him that he needed to suck it up for Gillian, so he brought out the big guns. “You owe me this, man.”

Once again, Logan turned to Jake with a look of surprise and confusion. Jake had no qualms with throwing this out at him. “I'm sure you know by now that I love that woman in there. A woman who happens to be pregnant with my child …” Jake paused and lowered his voice to express more of the anger he was feeling about the subject, “… and that pregnancy is now in jeopardy because of your indiscretions. She was f*cking shot because of you, and now I risk losing a child that I never even thought was possible. So … you f*cking owe me.”

He could see in Logan’s eyes the moment realization dawned on him. With a complete shift in his expression, Logan nodded his head and stood up. Jake picked up the bag from the floor and faced his old friend; one he hoped could be his friend again in the future. They stood there silently staring at each other before Jake said, “We’ll take Madison home with us. You go get cleaned up and come over. I'm pretty sure Sean, Morgan, and Allie will already be there with the kids.”

Logan just nodded his head again and turned to head toward the elevators. Just to make sure the guy came over later, Jake added, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you’ll be there.”

Logan threw a one- sided smile over his shoulder and said, “I'm sure you will.” And then he disappeared around the corner.

Not wanting to waste another second, Jake made his way into Gillian’s room. He laughed at the sight of Madison standing on top of the hospital bed, above her mother. She was apparently trying to do her mother’s hair. When they heard him, Madison turned and explained herself. “It’s the only way I felt I could work with all this hair without hurting her shoulder.”

“Please tell me she isn’t doing something to my hair that will make people laugh and point.”

Laughing again, he reassured her, “Not at all. Besides, they will be too busy staring at that bandage to notice your hair.”

Madison giggled from her perch on top of the bed, “Good one, Uncle Jake.”

Gillian just snorted and said, “Don’t encourage him, Maddie. We don’t want him to get out of control like your aunt.”

“I don’t think anyone can get that out of control, Mom.”

Jake circled his way around the bed to see Gillian’s face. She was smiling up at him from her perch on the side of the bed, and he couldn’t help but see how genuine that smile was. Whether it was for him, or the fact that her daughter was bonding with her, he didn’t know, but he loved it. Leaning down to meet her lips, he pressed a simple kiss to them, “How are you feeling, beautiful?”

“I'm perfect,” she said with a sweetness that he would never get enough of.

“Glad to hear it, ‘cause I’ve come to spring you from this joint. Has the doctor signed you out yet?”

Gillian nodded as Madison spoke for her, “Yes, she signed her discharge papers, and the doctor said she isn’t supposed to take her arm out of that sling for four more days—whether she begged us or not. And she needs her bandages changed every day.” The young one smiled at him like she was proud of being able to provide the information.

“Hey, just whose side are you on?” Gillian whined at her daughter. Jake laughed at them again. It was great seeing them like this; it wasn’t cool that it took Gillian getting shot for it to happen, but then again, it might just have been because Allie let the cat out of the bag about why her parents were getting divorced.

“She is on your side, of course. Why else would she provide important information that you would have otherwise ignored? But it doesn’t matter. I would’ve asked the doctor myself, since he gave me the number to his cell.” Jake smirked at her as he said the last part.

She groaned at him and said, “Okay, fine, you guys win. But I really want to take it off, it’s rubbing me in all the wrong places.”

“How about once we get you all settled in at home, I will change it and see if I can make it more comfortable for you,” he suggested.

She managed to give him look that was somewhere between pouty and manipulative as she said, “Are you sure I can’t talk you out of it? How ‘bout I promise to not move my arm at all?”

Shaking his head, he replied, “Nice try, beautiful, but I’m not falling for it. I will make sure you are comfortable, but you will have that arm of yours secured to your body for four more days.” Then he bent forward and playfully said, “And what kind of example are you setting for your daughter here. Trying to ignore the doctor’s orders like that. Would you let her get away with that?”

“She most certainly would not!” exclaimed Madison as she got down from the bed. “Besides, Mom, you will be in bed the whole time resting, so you won’t even notice your bandages.”

Realizing that she couldn’t win, she smiled at her daughter and said, “Fine, but just so you know, I plan on making you all watch whatever chick flick I feel like watching ‘til you cave, and let me have my way. I'm thinking I will start with season one of Sex In The City as soon as we get home.”

Jake and Madison groaned and looked at each other. He said to her, “I can do it if you can do it.”

“Oh, please, I stand at the fifty yard line, behind a bunch of boys and pretend to be excited about the fact that they are playing a stupid game. I'm sure I can handle pretending to enjoy a show my mom likes to watch while sitting on my butt. Besides, that’s what my phone is for.”

Jake really liked this Madison; she was far more fun to be around than the other one. Laughing inwardly he said, “Well then, Madison, how about you go down to the nurses’ station to see about a wheelchair for your mother here. I’ll help her get dressed.”

“I can help her get dressed,” Madison offered, and even though Jake could probably let her do it, he wanted to.

He was about to tell her that was fine when Gillian spoke up, “Thanks anyway, kiddo, but Jake should probably help me. His training will be helpful with my arm strapped to my body. Is that okay with you?”

The girl offered them a smile, said okay, and left the room. Gillian turned to Jake and said, “You clammed up on her there, afraid to tell my daughter that you just wanted to cop a feel.”

Laughing at that, he said, “Oh, does that mean I can? ‘Cause I wouldn’t mind a little bit of play time with my woman.” Sliding his arms carefully around her body, she nestled against his chest as best she could with her arm. When he heard her take a deep breath against his neck, he smiled.

“Did you just smell me?”

“I sure did. It’s one of the best smells ever,” she said in a breathy voice, which only caused his body to react.

But he understood what she was saying, and replied, “I know exactly what you mean, beautiful.”

After a few moments, she pulled her head away and said, “Can you please get me out of here? I'm dying to lay in my own bed.”

“Of course, let’s get you changed so I can do just that.”

“Are you staying with me?” she asked in a tentative voice, which made him give her a questioning look.

“Again, I will ask, what part of you are mine did you not understand? You’re kind of stuck with me lady, so deal with it.” Placing a quick peck to her nose he continued, “Hopefully the fact that I come with an adorable eight year old should sweeten the deal enough for you.”

“And how many times do I have to tell you, that boy is already mine.”

“I’m kind of glad you feel that way, ‘cause he is quite fond of you, too, beautiful.”

“Like I said, he is already mine. Now help me get dressed so I can get home and see my boys.”

With that final request, Jake helped Gillian from her hospital clothes and into something comfortable and easy to get on over her arm. They finished when Madison returned and asked where her father was. Jake responded to the questioning look from both of them, “He went home to get cleaned up, and said he will meet us at the house when we get there.”

Madison smiled and went to help retrieve her mother’s belongings. There were flowers and balloons and various other things sent to her by others, so it took her a few moments to get things gathered. As Jake directed Gillian to the wheelchair, she asked him quietly, “Is he really coming by the house?”

He nodded at her and said, “If he doesn’t come on his own, I will drag him over.”

That earned him another one of his favorite smiles, so he bent over to steal a kiss. When he stood up she said, “Thank you.”

His only response could be, “Anything for you, beautiful.”

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Gillian couldn’t be happier than she was now. She was home. Out of that damn hospital and surrounded by her things. Even though she worked there, it was a completely different feeling being a patient stuck there versus being an employee stuck there. She prayed that when it came time to go back to work, it didn’t bother her to be there. There was certainly some anxiety when she thought about being there, in that corridor, outside the x-ray department, but again she hoped it would lessen and not be a problem for her. She loved her job, and she certainly didn’t want the f*cked up shit that happened all because of an affair affect her ability to keep that part of her life. A little bit of anger rose to the surface as she recalled all the circumstances involved. Clearly, Logan needed to make sure his future mistresses didn’t have crazy husbands. Laughing to herself at that thought, she shook her head and tried to dispel all thoughts of Slutty McWhore and her husband, Batshit Crazy.

She had been home for a little while now, and she had yet to see Logan. Gillian was sure that Logan was avoiding her because he felt guilty, and while he should feel guilty, she also refused to let that affair take away the friendship she had with him. It was crucial to their future as parents, and she knew he needed to get past it. If Jake wasn’t hovering nearby, she would march herself next door and demand his attention. She was considering sending her daughter over there to get him so that they could get it out of the way before the rest of their group of friends showed up. There was talk of a turkey that was already cooked, and all the fixings were on their way over since Thanksgiving was yesterday, and they hadn’t had a big family gathering. As she was about to call for Madison, she heard a knock on the door and then it opened. There was Logan, standing in what was his front door, looking at her with an expression she would always remember. The pain and shame that was evident told her exactly why he hadn’t come around while she was in the hospital. She knew he was lurking nearby in the hall, but wouldn’t come in to see her. His hair was still wet, and Gillian could smell his soap and aftershave, telling her he had just showered. The look of discomfort he had told her he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to enter, so she told him so. In an attempt to lighten the mood she said, “You can come in, you know, I still don’t bite.”

Logan gave her a sheepish smile and moved farther into the living room. All her years as his wife told her that he was having a lot of trouble with being there. All those years also taught her how she needed to handle the situation. While she was sure that most women would probably demand an apology, just the look and demeanor of the man she loved for so many years told her how sorry he felt. She didn’t need the words—she had what she needed.

Standing up, even though Jake tried to stop her, she made her way over to Logan and stood right in front of him. Looking up at him, she tried to make eye contact, but he avoided it. Just wanting to get this over with, she said, “I don’t blame you for what happened.”

That immediately had his attention, and his eyes snapped up to meet hers. The look of outrage on his face was kind of funny, and she attempted to stifle her laugh, but was only partially successful. Her tight-lipped smile probably fueled his irritation, which was just a bonus for her, but she managed to restrain the rest of the laugh from coming out. Logan took in a deep breath and attempted to say something, but then let all the air out in one big huff. Stuttering a few times as he tried to speak only made her want to giggle more because it was the best way to diffuse a situation.

When Logan finally found the ability to speak, it came out in a low exasperated tone, “I blame myself.” All the outrage she saw a few moments earlier left his body as his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I'm so sorry, Gillian … for everything.”

She smiled at him. “I know you are, so let’s move on from all of it.” Logan just looked at her in astonishment, which made her uncomfortable, so sarcasm rose to the surface and she said, “But don’t get me wrong, I am so going to bring up the fact that I have a bullet hole in my shoulder. It will be a cooler scar than any of you guys have.”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched together. “That’s not cool, Gillian. I really don’t think we should joke about this.”

Refusing to be persuaded she said, “You’re just saying that because you know it’s true, and you don’t get to take that away from me. I will win that competition every time. Well, until someone else gets shot, which better not happen!”

He just shook his head at her and asked, “And we just move on from this … just like that?”

She nodded and said, “Just like that. I refuse to focus on shitty events in my life.”

He gave her that one-sided grin that she always loved and said, “Glass half full, right?”

She snorted a laugh, “Exactly! It’s about time you see things my ways—only took you eighteen years.”

“Thanks Gilly.” Then he carefully pulled her into a hug. It was nice, but it wasn’t the same as it used to be, which only reminded her of what she now had. Pulling back, she smiled at Logan, then turned to look at Jake who had been watching the exchange. She removed herself from Logan’s embrace and walked into Jake’s. It was easy to melt right into him as she wound her right arm around his back and nestled her nose into the crook of his neck. Feeling him kiss the top of her head, she sighed and asked, “Not that I'm complaining or anything, but didn’t I hear something about turkey and all the fixings? I assumed you all meant that someone made it and that you all didn’t expect me to prepare it. Hello, bullet wound over here. I'm pretty sure I have a free pass for a little while.”

Both men laughed out loud, and she looked up at Jake as he said, “You can use that pass for anything you want, and for as long as you want, beautiful.” Leaning down, Jake pressed a kiss to her lips.

She heard Logan huff an exasperated breath as he said, “That is really going to take some getting used to.” Making his way out of the room he said, “I assume my sons are around here somewhere?” And with that, he left the room.

Gillian smiled up at Jake again, perfectly content with how things just played out. She was fully aware that many would have handled it differently, but it was how she wanted things to be. She was about to ask when everyone else was coming over when the doorbell rang. Madison sprinted into the room saying, “I got it!” Still holding onto Jake, Gillian waited for the rest of her family to come in when Madison said, “Mom, there’s someone at the door for you.”