His eyes were suspended in the air at the thought. “We have a few days until she arrives. Give me some time to think about it.”
I didn't understand what he meant by that but immediately caught on that it was the end of that discussion. I suggested my place to him last week in New York and didn’t know if he had ruled that out or simply forgotten about it.
“How was service today?” Azmir asked before taking a sip of his Grande Marnier.
I saw a hint of a smile on his face and rolled my eyes. I knew he was referring to the women in my Bible study group.
“The morning sermon was good, but I had a few new pew neighbors ask about my morning...and previous night. I can’t believe that Rhonda asked if we go to bed at the same time!”
He squinted his eyes in confusion. “How did you answer that?”
“Are you kidding me? I didn’t! She was out of line for that one. Lisa had the gall to casually ask about your measurements. She wanted to know how tall you are and your shoe size. I swear, I felt like your little sister instead of...” My words failed me and once again, my private truth peaked. I had no idea what I was to Azmir.
“Instead of what?” his lips twitched as if he found humor in my bemusement. He knew my hesitation and wanted to probe at it. I don’t think so! I didn’t want to damper the moment but didn’t know how to change the course of the conversation.
“What’s so funny? Do you think I’d say your wife or something?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes at the thought. Deep down inside I didn’t view it as a joke, rather an impossible task.
With his eyes widened and in a look of total disarray, he asked, “What's so funny about that idea?”
Crap! Did I offend him? I didn't intend to. The thought of marriage caused me to cringe because I knew I could never be a valued partner to anyone. It would also cause me to reflect on how dedicated a partner my mother was to my father. It was to a fault and he didn’t appreciate it. I could never put myself in a position to let someone walk all over me and leave when it suited them.
“I don’t know. What do you think?” I was at a loss.
The waiter served Azmir his sorbet in a fancy bowl with an obscurely shaped spoon. Too rich for my blood.
Azmir nodded in approval, dismissing the waiter and resumed our conversation.
“Well, it’s what I know.” He spooned his ice cream and scooped it in his mouth. That mouth. “But I won’t tell. That’ll have to be between my wife and me.”
Though my neck stayed in place, my face fell to the table below. That stung. The thought of Azmir having a connection with another woman made my stomach churn and my chest tighten in anguish. He was mine and I didn’t want to ruin what we had and allow another woman an opportunity with him. I downed the last of my wine in an attempt to blur the pain I felt in my heart. I was close to drunk and was happy about the shield it provided.
He reached over the table to share his dessert. I didn’t want it, I was too wounded to be sentimental, but I humored him and ate from it.
“Would you conduct your affairs with your husband any different from how you are with me now?” Where’s he going with this?
“That's unfair to ask, Azmir. I’m far out of bounds where we are now. Unlike you, I’ve never been in a serious relationship.” I shook my head in frustration. “Let's not talk about this.”
He gave his confident chuckle and signaled for the waiter to bring the check.
Panic struck.
“Azmir, I’m not mad. I don't want to end dinner or rush your dessert.”
Reaching for his wallet he muttered ever so smoothly, “Oh, nah, we have to go, Ms. Brimm. The way I see it is I have three hours before I leave for my flight.” He handed his credit card to the waiter and motioned that he didn’t need to see the bill. “This gives me three hours to provide you with an idea of what sex would be like for my wife.”
To say that I wasn’t expecting that wouldn’t express my shock. After he cleared the check, we left for the marina.