“Hmmmm…okay.” His face softened at that notion. “Well, what is it?”
“Well, here’s the thing…one of the biggest points of contention in our…friendship is the money spending thing…on me. The superfluity. You like to lavish me with considerably expensive things and for some reason that makes me uncomfortable. We’ve fought over this on numerous occasions and you’ve been adamant about wanting to do nice deeds for me and to take care of me. I still don’t think I need to be cared for in that manner but I don’t want to change you no more than I can stand for you to change me. I’m not used to all of this…your wealth and eagerness to tend to me. I’ve never had it, but clearly it’s here—smack-dap in my face, all 6 feet 4 inches of it that can’t be ignored.” I transitioned into a joke to lighten the moment.
“I’m pretty sure he’s longer and stronger than 4 inches.” Azmir flashed a roguish smile that I couldn’t begrudge.
I gasped, “Azmir!” though unable to hide my shameful blush. “We’re talking about holiness here. Don’t.”
With a more serious and straightened face he nodded in agreement.
“Anyway, I will no longer reprove of your supererogatory ways—” he cut me off.
“Supererogatory? You always make it take on a negative connotation.”
“No…no! It’s not negative at all.” I sighed. I didn’t mean for this to morph into such a serious conversation. “Can I be completely honest for a second?”
“I hope you would. That’s all I ever want to be with you.” Azmir’s eyes were intent and he was trying to take in this deep conversation.
“I think the reason I’ve given you so much grief over it is because I feel like I can’t reciprocate. I don’t have the means to play on your level and quite frankly, I don’t know how to make myself useful in your world.” I raised my hands in the air. “Please don’t try to placate my insecurities by explaining your feelings for me. It’s useless and unfair to do on the spot. More than that, I feel like it’s something that I have to figure out on my own before I screw this up,” I choked on my last few words, but caught my tears before they pooled in my eyes.
Azmir sat there speechless but evidently still in the moment with me. I managed a little chuckle to put him at ease. He eventually grabbed my hands and kissed them gently. I smiled at his loving gesture.
Breaking the moment, I rose to my feet and exhaled. “Now, it’s time for me to hit the sack. I’ve been dreaming about your cozy, tempered, firm, and snuggly bed all day. I must go meet with it.” I laughed.
“Our bed, Ms. Brimm. You said you’re on the path of peace and it starts with accepting me and all that comes with me. I’m yours and so is the bed.” His voice was solemn and commanding. I so wish that I was ready to receive that. I reached down and kissed him on the lips. I didn’t want an emotional brawl, it was late and I was too exhausted.
En route to the bed portion of the grand room he said, “This so didn’t end the way that I thought it would.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I was going to get a verbal lashing about coming home too soon and blowing your shacking cover,” Azmir admitted while organizing his papers and laying them at the opposite end of the coffee table so that he could sit on the couch and put his feet up.
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten about your monumental mishap. You’re so busted! You forgot they would be over. Didn’t you?”
He raised his arm in the air giving me that coochie creaming smile.
“Oh, and there it is!” I pointed my index finger towards his face. “Did you really have to flash those teeth and bat those lashes at them? You weren’t playing fair. You were supposed to slip in and out of their view if anything,” I fussed.