“No. I want to do this,” I demanded, grabbing his cloth and lathering it up.
I started with his broad shoulders and extended out to his arms. Next was his carved chest then muscular abdomen, leading down to his silky trail. I dropped down to his perfectly molded legs and started washing at the thighs, but kept hitting my head on his erection. It was so long and heavy that I couldn't avoid it. My insides quivered and I was happy he couldn’t hear my moan over the sounds of the cascading water. I didn’t know how long I could spend washing his legs, it really wasn’t a complicated body part. I was trying to steal time to talk myself out of what my body yearned. I just couldn’t deal with rejection. I gave up and rose to my feet, bumping my head against him once again. How embarrassing!
Once fully standing and facing head on with his chest he said, “Thanks,” with a generous smile.
I grabbed my wash cloth and began washing my private parts, unable to look at him. I heard my labored breathing rushing through my head. I was so sensitive down there as I rubbed to wash and rinse. Azmir stood against one of the wall faucets, allowing the water from it to spring into his lower back. I knew he was waiting on me to finish so we could leave the shower together.
I couldn’t resist anymore, I walked over to him and pushed my head into his chest, feeling exhausted from my internal battle. I couldn’t tell him that I wanted him desperately, and feared his indifference. He pulled me into an embrace and without knowing for sure what it meant, that’s all it took for me to take to my knees once more, slowly as my body still ached, and hungrily take him into my mouth devouring him.
“Rayna…you. Don’t. Have. To…” he spoke in laborious breaths.
Something I’d never experienced before overtook me. I became besieged with a raw emotion and unyielding need to communicate something to him. I pulled and sucked with the desperation I felt for him in that moment, for the gratitude I felt, for his gentle care, for the desire I had to claim him against the likes of Dawn Taylor. Beyond anything I needed physically, feelings that I couldn’t describe surfaced in that shower. I wanted the opportunity to care for him the way he had me over the past few days. I wanted to be with Azmir forever.
Possibilities of being capable of loving and partnering with him for a lifetime flashed through my heart as my head bobbed in his lap. I needed his love, suddenly acknowledging that I couldn’t live without it. I didn’t want him up for grabs because I wanted him all to myself. I was longing, almost frantically.
“Gah! Fuck!” he yelped in a way I had never heard before that point. It was unintended, unguarded and guttural. Did he feel what I did? He could have by the sounds of the aching in his voice. “Rayna, wait…wait. Wait!” he whispered. But I couldn’t stop. I was just as emotionally hungry as I was sexually.
“You’re about to make me…NO!” he said just under a shout when he pulled me up by shoulders, lifting me into the air with his strong and capable arms.
“Can you hang on?” With burning desire pouring from his voice, he was asking if I could straddle him.
So turned on, I panted, “Yes!”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you…or turn you off.”
Those were the magic words. I lunged at Azmir and covered his mouth with mine. I needed him so bad in that moment. As we kissed so wildly and urgently, he slowly entered me, strteching me and causing me to yelp from the pressure.
“You okay?” he asked anxiously. I was disturbed that he had pulled out of me and cradled my trembling frame to keep me in the air.
“No…go…GO!” I screamed.
He turned so that I was against the wall and pushed my body into his, pushing into me. His tardigrade movements were unintentional torturous thrusts. I was insanely desperate for him to plummet me. Precipitating more, I threw my tongue into his mouth, hoping he would catch on to me not wanting to lose a second of passion. I wanted his roughness.