He set his fixation out on the marina and with a calm voice that roared in my heart he asked, “Do you want Thompson?”
My eyes widened and mouth went dry as I parted my lips. “No,” I spoke with trembling chords.
“Well, why the fuck would you get drunk with him during work hours?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t have to.
“What do I have to do?” he asked with a frightening even tone.
I didn’t understand his question. With a deep swallow, I attempted to wet my throat.
“Do…?”
His head jolted over to me infuriately. “Do! What do I have to do to make you feel safe again? What do I have to do to get you to forget about Thompson and…and Dawn…and to get you back to understanding that here is where you belong?” His breath gave out and his fist rose to his mouth. I knew there was no way around this conversation.
“Time,” I submitted just above a whisper.
Azmir slammed both fists into the bar and all the bottles on top leaped in place and met the bar top with a clash on their way down. “FUCK TIME! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!” His vicious shout in his Brooklyn tongue vibrated off the walls.
My head flew back into the sofa and wind came crushing through my mouth audibly. There was that frightening side of Azmir that I’d guessed laid dormant. I couldn’t believe that I caused the resurgence of it. I’d uncovered the rage.
“In all my projected thoughts and plans of aging, never once did they include scraping at the meat of my nails…” he glanced down at his hands and I shivered at the visual. “…to keep a woman in my arms, at my side, in my home, in my bed. Never once did I think she wouldn’t feel that I am good enough to hold on to.”
His words plummeted my heart in double time. My throat closed up. I couldn’t breathe. “No, Azmir. It’s not like that,” I whimpered.
His scowl darted back over to me. “The hell it ain’t!” he scoffed. “You run every chance you get. You run!”
“It’s not like you have no culpability in this,” I bravely murmured, offended by his summary of things.
“FUCK DAWN!”
“YOU WANTED TO!” I jumped from the couch and dug my feet into the Persian rug, seething at his audacity. “You can stand here and lie all you want, but I know you—I know your sexual temperament. You wanted to fuck her, just like you wanted to fuck me after our first kiss,” I charged back at him.
He cocked his head to the side, pushing his tongue into his molars and walked slowly over to me with revelation in his eyes. “Is that what you were going to do? W-was that your plan…to take him home and fuck him?” His brows were furrowed, masking the deep stirring of his wrath as he searched my eyes for the truth.
“I-I would never stoop so low. I can’t believe you asked me that—”
“You let him kiss you! If I hadn’t come out there looking for you to return, you would have—” he turned in disgust at the thought. “Gah!” He tramped back toward the water view with one hand on his hip and another in air until he swung it aimlessly and so hard, I jumped.
What did I do? Would I had kissed Thompson back? Am I even attracted to him? I mean, he is an attractive man, but does he even catch my attention? Or was my behavior retribution for Azmir’s betrayal? Had I allowed my pain and angst from his kissing Dawn to push me to behave so reckless? That was it—that was my motive!
“You kissed her,” I murmured.
“And you let him kiss you!” He shot back with his gaze steady on the marina and his voice with a sudden tremor. “When I saw his lips touch yours…I felt a pain spike my dick as if that motherfucka’ tried to yank it from my body. He tried taking something that is attached to me!”