I can only muster one soft nod of my head.
“Karen Bridges, one of my executive admin assistants at the rec…you may or may not remember her. She was in on the leasing proposal meeting when you first visited my boardroom.” I almost immediately recall her. She’s the redhead with red plastic framed glasses who entered the room just before Azmir and Brett that day. “She miscarried last summer, too…was well within her first trimester. She opted to take a brief leave of absence to mourn the loss of fetus according to HR.” Azmir squints, “If I’m not mistaken, you returned to work as soon as you were cleared from the hospital.”
My mouth collapses. He’s being mean, hurtful even—all unusual characteristics of my Azmir. My eyes grow to continue to absorb the tears. I feel wounded.
Azmir’s eyes slowly close as he continues to fight his escalating emotions. Conspicuously absent is my aplomb mogul.
Calming his tone, he mutters, “You don’t share personal information with my business affiliates—I don’t share personal information with my business affiliates. For fuck’s sake, she informed me that if that type of shit got out, she’d be the person doing damage control.”
Another mention of Dawn flares my anger once again. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression of the cause of our fight last night. “What else specifically did she say to you when she ran back to tattletale—”
“It’s not about what she says!” he roars, shaking me to the core. “It’s about my feelings! I lost a fucking baby! And if I don’t want that used as ammunition in a bout between you and a business associate that I could not give two flying fucks about, it’s my goddamn prerogative!”
Feeling his admonishment, my eyes fall to floor, which is symbolic of my tail flopping between my legs. I find myself, again, being seen as insensitive. It’s painful. I have no rebuttal as my eyes sweep the floor. A few seconds into it, I hear Azmir’s loud exhale of exasperation. Then I feel his warm lips press into my chilled forehead before he makes his way out of the kitchen.
What’s most disturbing is Azmir being right; I probably didn’t feel the loss that the average woman would, losing a baby. I felt the inconvenience of having been told I was pregnant and being holed up in a hospital bed until it was cleansed from my body. I felt it impeded on my bereavement of my best friend. Now I’m feeling insensitive. Inhumane. Disgusting.
A few hours later, when I thought my mood had marginally improved, I’m knocked down a dozen pegs when I find myself online, searching for coverage of the Mauve signing. They say when you go looking for trouble, you will find just that. I start out with SandraRose.com when I find pictures of Azmir and other notable figures who attended; some I recall and others I don’t. I only see one picture of Azmir and me on the red carpet. But what’s in abundance is those of Azmir and Dawn inside the event, appearing as the couple of the year and a very handsome one at that.
Dawn’s slender shoulders look companionable to Azmir’s broad and square ones. Her silken ebony skin matches his dark chocolate Adonis perfectly. Her proximity to him is carefully placed. Dawn’s hands doesn’t grip Azmir intimately. No. Her touch doesn’t mimic mine as his lover. She’s too smart for that. Dawn arches her arm behind him; I’m sure just short of touching Azmir, which would have alarmed him. But when she smiles for the camera, her head inclines toward him in a familiar juxtaposition. And there are at least a dozen photos of them like this.
The caption reads well for Azmir, for which I’m grateful. But it also speaks acclaims for Dawn and her PR firm.
“Business mogul, Azmir Jacobs is still flying high in his lucrative career with yet another power move. He’s recently inked a unique endorsement deal with the French and very wealthy Moreau Brothers (they aren’t reputed to do business with men of Mr. Jacobs’ skin tone) for their brandy called Mauve. The event took place last night in West Hollywood.
Atlanta’s very own princess, Dawn Taylor, was there coordinating one of the biggest deals of its kind in history. Dawn is a partner in Bacote & Taylor’s Planning and Public Relations Corp. and looks good on Jacobs’ arm. He’s listed as Vibe’s Top Richest Black Eligible Bachelor. Dawn, we wish you the best on this one.”