Love Delayed

“Ah... Oh...okay. Good night, Jordan.” Bernard appropriately responds. He gives me a respectful nod that I return before he follows Zoey.

I have Jordan wash up for the night and I’m right behind him. He’s sleeping in my bedroom tonight, on the pullout, because Alton is staying in his until tomorrow when Tynisha is due to arrive. We’re all at Zoey’s parents’ vacation home in South Carolina for two days. Sarah’s having a big birthday celebration tomorrow night. The following morning, Jordan and I will board a plane to Mexico.

Being here with Zoey and Bernard is harder than I realized. He goes boor in my presence all the time. I’m not sure if he can sense my desire for her, but he damn sure makes it clear that he’s the leading man in her life. For the moment.

I toss and turn all night, preoccupied with thoughts of Zoey being with another man. The first couple of hours are spent ear-hustling the sounds of their room down the hall. I can hear faint sounds of Zoey’s giggles and their conversation. I don’t pick up actual words, as they are down the hall and not next door. Nonetheless, I could recognize my Ni?a’s voice from miles away. If I told the truth, I’d say I waited to hear signs of them fucking. I know Zoey fucked Bernard. She made that clear some time ago. However, witnessing it would destroy me. I lay in bed, stretching my ears beyond the walls.

When Sarah sat with the builders for special features on this home that I gifted her for her birthday a few years ago, she dedicated a smaller suite on the opposite end of the house from her own to me. She said I’d always have an open invitation no matter what. I now wonder is Bernard that what.

I can’t sleep thinking about the finality of Zoey and me. I can’t be so unreasonable as to think Bernard will stay in the place that technically belonged to me back n Philly. I mean, is he going to fuck his wife on the bed where I’ve blown my load in her countless times? The thought of it makes me sick. And Jordan. Bernard would have more access to my little man than I will. Giving up Zo would be life altering for me. Sharing Jordan would be the death of me.

I don’t know what time I fall asleep. My night and day blends so well that I can’t tell when one ends and the other begins. I do feel it when a groggy Jordan, with his funky ass breath, is in my face, petitioning my consciousness for something to eat. At this point, I have to get up and start my day.

Kids.

By the time we quickly wash up and head downstairs to raid his grandmother’s refrigerator, Jordan and I find her kitchen filled and busy with Sarah, Ruth and Zoey. I glance around the room and see a tight faced Alton, sitting patiently at the table, waiting to be served.

He had to have just rolled out of the bed. I stroll over to him.

“Did you even brush your fucking teeth before sitting at Mom Duke’s table?”

Alton’s neck jerks back, feigning righteous indignation, but before he can come back, Sarah shoos, “Oh stop being territorial, Stent. Alton has been waiting patiently for the past thirty minutes.” She rounds me, standing on her toes, she lands a kiss on my cheek. She knows it warms me. “Besides,” she whispers to me. “Everybody knows I only have one son.”

Sarah giggles as she watches my squinted eyes soften.

As much as his brutish ways annoy me, it feels great having my man here with me, especially considering this shit with Zoey and her bum-ass boyfriend weighing my shoulders.

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