That’s when I noticed his eyes and realized he’d caught me staring. He didn’t smile. Didn’t smirk. His nostrils however did flare. It was as if he was telling me to back off, so I did.
We made it through the christening with Stenton participating seamlessly. When we all moved back to our pews, I sensed Stenton right behind me, holding a cranky Jordan. I was relieved because it was time for him to eat. Almost perceptively when we sat, Stenton went straight to the Gucci diaper bag one of his associates had sent as a gift—the bag I loathed and thought was unnecessary, but I felt just as foolish for wearing it as I would for wasting someone’s money—and retrieved Jordan’s bottle and burping cloth. He draped the cloth over his shoulder and gave the baby his bottle just in time to miss his cry.
As the service continued, I furtively watched Stenton with Jordan. My chest tightened with guilt at how Stenton knew to stop Jordan midway through his feeding to burp him, even though Jordan protested for a half a minute. Once he belched, Stenton returned Jordan to the crook of his long arm and continued his feeding. When the bottle was empty, Stenton burped the baby again then put him to sleep. As I marveled at how attentive and involved he was a father, I could only ask myself one question: How could I have excluded him from this christening?
He allowed Jordan a few minutes before placing him in his car seat to continue to nap. I had to fight for that with Stenton over the past few weeks because he’d hold Jordan all day if he himself didn’t have to use the bathroom. Babies don’t need to be held while they sleep. They’ll get spoiled. It was bad enough he was a breastfed baby. Stenton’s obedience to that request further spurred my guilt. Even after putting Jordan down, Stenton refused to look at me.
I don’t know how much of the sermon Stenton took in, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. I, on the other hand, couldn’t focus on anything but this man whenever he was around, especially today during this awkward encounter. Stenton remained locked and still. At one point, I heard Tynisha scolding Alton for being on his phone in the house of worship.
When service was over and Pastor Whitaker directed everyone down into the dining room for food in celebration of the christening, I noticed most of Stenton’s crew headed in the opposite direction to the door.
Stenton finally turned to me and murmured, “I have to leave, but before I do, I need a word with you outside.”
I nodded my head keenly. As we left the pew, my mom appeared with a warm smile. Stenton asked her to take Jordan while we spoke. She agreed and Stenton kissed a sleeping Jordan, who ironically smiled. That caused a pang to rip through my chest.
“He’s going to need a diaper change really soon. He didn’t have one all service long,” Stenton informed my mother as a responsible parent should.
Yup! I feel like crap!
When we continued outside, I didn’t know what to expect. Stenton and I had never really fought. We hadn’t really argued since our initial interface when we were forced to spend time together while Alton and Angela had their short-lived affair. Other than him breaking my heart, we had nothing to fight about.
On our way out, Pastor Whitaker stopped him.
“Mr. Rogers, I’m so glad you were able to make it. I apologize. Had I known you’d be a little late, I would’ve waited for you. I know today’s a busy day for you,” he offered genuinely.
Stenton shook his hand and offered an amenable smile. “That’s all right, Pastor. I’m just a mere man; no one to wait on. That was made clear to me today.”
My mouth swung open as Stenton tossed me the nastiest glare. Pastor Whitaker must have caught on as he cleared his throat and swiped his nose.