Shocked. Shamed. Embarrassed. Foolish. Those were some of the words that could best characterize what I felt in that moment. I couldn’t speak. Had nothing to follow up with. The Queen of Comebacks had no comeback. He was right. Even today, during one of the lowest moments of my life, he’d shown up for me…uninvited and all.
I stood there and widened my eyes in an attempt to keep my tears inside. My chest heaved and nose flared. Stenton pivoted again and that’s when I saw my mom just beyond him. Stenton must have caught her in his peripheral, too, because he turned completely toward her then let out another string of profanities under his breath. I knew he didn’t want her to have caught his tirade.
As my mother approached us I noticed the plate she held in her hands. She had her loving smile in place. A smile that could sooth anything…up until that moment. My heart was still bleeding.
“Stenton, I came out here because I know you love my cream cheese pound cake. I was told you don’t have time to eat with us, but I know you’ll always make room for this.” My mom handed him the plate.
Unable to look her in the face, Stenton took the plate and murmured, “Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate this.” A few beats later, he croaked out a low, “I’m sorry.” And I was aware he was exclusively speaking to her.
“Son, there’s no need to apologize.” Her voice was so calming as she gently took him at his broad shoulder. “I was not aware of this, but I will be talking to Zoey about co-parenting even though you two are in a precarious situation.” Her eyes turned restless, she was disappointed in me. “You’re a great dad. You go on. Get to work. We don’t want you in any trouble behind this. I’m glad that you showed up for your son today. Thank you for showing up for my child, too.”
My child? I’m a grown woman!
Stenton walked off to his waiting truck, tossing me a last glare before getting in. I turned my head and inadvertently collided with my mother’s feverish glower.
“He’s just so frustrating! I don’t get him. You know how I feel, Mom. You know what I’ve been through. You said yourself, you don’t like the confusion taking place between us.”
“I said I don’t like confusion, honey. Stenton doesn’t at all seem to be the one confused.” She gave me a searing gaze before walking off herself, leaving me, just like Stenton did moments before.
~~~~~~~~~~
July 2008
“What are you looking at? I thought you came over to help me sort this laundry.” I laid Jordan’s fresh onesie in the pile with the rest of the white ones on the dining room table.
Tynisha glanced up from her laptop and rolled her eyes. She sighed, “Mascot, what you need is a damn maid, not someone to help you. Have you looked me up lately? Do you not know what I do for a living? It’s a little awkward when I don’t even do my own.”
“But that’s what you said when you called to tell me you were stopping by.”
“That was just to get me in here. God knows you won’t come out,” she hissed as she went back into her screen.
“Anyway,” I exhaled. “What are you doing?”
“I’m…ummm…looking up Alton’s activities to see if he’s been cheating.”
“Huhn?” My jaw fell to the table.
“Yeah. There’s this small production company out of Delaware—run by some guy Alton went to high school with that moved down there—who has been doing a documentary on him for years now.” Tynisha’s voice was low and the cadence of her words staggered as she was so engrossed in what was on that screen. “They’re recording him like my camera crew does me, and uploading small clips on their website to drum up anticipation. And I’ve been watching to catch him in the act.”
Tynisha and I had been relatively cool for months, but never had I felt comfortable enough to inquire about the policing she does with Alton.