Jordan slept a lot. He was still a newborn, and with having to be prepared for his every demand, I couldn’t exactly relax. That bull crap about sleeping when the baby sleeps was the most invalid advice anyone could give. There was always laundry that needed to be done, food that needed to be prepared and other household chores. I’d wipe those things out and then look for more to do before Jordan’s next scheduled feeding. Sometimes I moved too fast for my own good and became antsy.
One night, I stalked Stenton online…again. I went to Facebook and Twitter to see if I could catch up with him. We still weren’t as communicative as we once were. Now, everything was about Jordan. I’d set it up that way. I had to protect the place of emotional stability I’d been able to find vacancy in. As I did my social media voyage like a fan of his, I clicked on dozens of pictures of Stenton, posing with our newborn son. If the number of teeth he exposed in each picture could measure his elation, the amount of them he shared made his joy palpable. He was revealing his private life, something he was reputed for not doing. His beaming smile in the hospital, next to an hour-old Jordan in a plastic bassinet; his sheer happiness when holding a sleeping Jordan on his bare chest covered in graffiti, were all telling of his absolute contentment. In the last photo of them skin on skin was the perfect contrast of purity against rugged art.
In the numerous pictures Stenton appeared to be happy, on top of the world. How could this be when I was still suffering from a broken heart? From failure.
When I Googled him like an overzealous fan, I found a clip of Rosci of 106&Park, who was clearly smitten with Stenton, ask probing questions, “We all know you just had a baby. How you were able to hide that from the world is beyond me. So, the woooooorld,” she emphasized the word, “...wants to know, who is the woman worthy enough to have Stenton Rogers’ baby?” The crowd went up in a roar, rooting and whooping.
Stenton smirked, but I knew him well enough to know he was uncomfortable. Stenton Rogers never minded attention on the court, but a telescope into his personal life brought about high levels of anxiety.
Trying to calm the boisterous crowd, Rosci hushed them before continuing. “I mean, we all know you’re a private man. You’re rarely photo’d out with anyone. But you were able to slip this past us. How?”
Stenton snorted, causing another round of oohs and aahs from the crowd, “By doing what I’m doing now: not speaking about it.”
This reserved and confident man I was observing was far from the yielding, excitable and eager lover I experienced making the baby in question. If I was less stable, I would question my knowing the man on my computer screen. The spotlight made him supernatural.
The chorus of regrettable awwwwwws came. Rosci joined them. Where is Terrance J? “C’mon, Stent. You gotta give us something. You know these ladies aren’t going to let you out of here without something—I’m not going to let you off the stage without a legitimate answer!”
“I can tell you this: the next woman you see me photo’d with will be someone I’m dating, but the only woman you’ll hear me speak of will be my wife.”
That set off a heavy applause and I cocked my head to the side wondering why. Was it because the audience got the riddle or because it was cute to hear Stenton Rogers refer to his future wife? I was then able to see just what Stenton meant when he said people don’t see him; they see who and what they want to see.
“Wow! Okay!” Rocsi, too, seemed moved by that ambiguous comment. “But I have to push a little here, Stent. You and I have a mutual friend that didn’t even know you were expecting. I had to ask him if she put some kind of spell on you to cut the line.”
I gasped.
Stenton seemingly found that one humorous as he laughed. I didn’t agree.
“Nah. No spells, no potions. Just awesome chemistry that produced the cutest and most adorable little prince. I’m a very lucky man. He has the best mother.”
That was issued without humor. Did he mean that? Was that a ploy to appease his legion of crushees? Did Stenton feel something more for me than the young girl that was so inexperienced, she got pregnant by him? Was I overthinking this?