Visions of a night spent with Adwen flooded my senses. I was tired of fighting him, tired of preparing myself for the worst just because I’d had so many failed relationships, if you could even call them that. I wanted Adwen—more than I’d wanted any man in years. Even if it didn’t go any further than tonight, what was the point of denying myself?
“Fine. Maybe you’re right.”
She smiled, releasing my hands as she showed me to the door. “I usually am, Jane.”
“Well then, I guess I’ll be on my way. You’ve surprised me today, Isobel.”
She winked at me, shocking me again as she swatted my rear when I stepped into the hallway.
“Aye, all women are full of surprises, I suppose. I’d wager Adwen will find that out for himself this evening.”
CHAPTER 24
After leaving Isobel, I first thought it best to wait until after dinner to approach Adwen, but as the morning dragged on, I thought differently. Now that Isobel’s surprisingly blunt tongue and naughty suggestions had torn away any resolve I had to continue denying Adwen, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit across from him at a meal without imagining him naked, and my slack-jawed expression at such an image would be visible to everyone at the dinner table.
Besides that, everyone had a tendency to visit after dinner but, in the middle of the afternoon with plenty of hours left until mealtime, everyone was preoccupied doing their own thing. I thought perhaps a little romping would go unnoticed by everyone else in the castle.
I would regret my actions. I was nearly certain of that, but regret was an emotion I’d experienced far too little of since being thrown into the seventeenth century. In my old life, it seemed I experienced regret over one thing or another on a daily basis. My carefree nature and utter lack of responsibility allowed me to make far too many reckless decisions. While part of me was glad to be in a place where there was less trouble to get into, I also rather missed it. Tonight, I would allow myself another moment of recklessness—for memory’s sake if nothing else.
With my courage gathered as much as it would ever be, I stuck my head out of my bedchamber door to see if anyone was coming down the hallway from either direction. The moment I peered through the door, Cooper ran by me, throwing me an ornery smile before he took off around the corner.
I stood there a moment, waiting for the trudge of Orick’s footsteps that I knew would follow shortly after Cooper’s. Sure enough, he came down the hallway with one arm extended to feel his way and the other hand covering his eyes as he counted. I grinned as I watched him stumble down the hallway, only reaching out to him as he passed my doorway.
“Orick.”
He laughed as I grasped onto his arm, ceasing his counting as he dropped the hand from his eyes.
“Good afternoon, lass. He is hiding while I count; then I must go look for him.”
I smiled as I nodded. “Yes, I see. Have you seen Adwen around anywhere?”
“I only saw him as we ran past, but I believe he was in the sitting room, reading of all things. He was near the fire when I passed him.”
“Thanks. Having fun?”
He smiled, jerking his head in the direction Cooper had run. “I shall sleep well tonight. The lad has tired me thoroughly, though ’tis nice to spend a few days under his direction rather than Adwen’s.”
“Good. I’m glad he’s not driving you mad. You best get on after him. He’s not the most patient kid. He’ll know if you wait past your number to come and find him.”
“Right ye are, lass.”
Dutifully, he covered his eyes and started counting once again, slowly and clumsily moving his way down the hallway. Once he got to the end, he removed his hand from his face, stopped counting, and hollered after Cooper that he was on his way to find him.
I waited to exit my room until I could no longer hear any footsteps. When nothing but the sound of my own breathing reached my ears, I wrapped the robe more tightly around my waist and ventured out into the hallway.
I knew I was right about approaching Adwen in the afternoon when I met with no one on my way through the castle. I let out a sigh of relief as I slipped through the back door of the sitting room. Taking a quick glance around to make sure we were alone, I closed the door behind me.
It was a small room and one of the only spaces in the castle where burning a fire was actually productive. The open flames created so much smoke that windows had to be left cracked open while burning. In a large room if you were further than ten feet from the fire itself, the cool breeze from outside never allowed the heat from the fire to spread throughout the room. But in a room this small, every seat was near the fire, allowing the smoke to be vented while the heat of the flames warmed you through.
I took a step toward him and he stirred in his seat. I spoke immediately, not wanting him to say a word until I’d given him my speech. Otherwise, I knew I’d lose my nerve.
“Don’t turn around and don’t say anything—not until I’m done.”