“Is it just going to make me more sad? If so, then not really.” I smiled to try and lighten the mood, and she laughed in response.
“No, I doona think it will sadden ye; my hope is that it will wake ye up to what a fool ye are being.”
“Oh no.”
“Aye, lass, ‘oh no.’ What saddens my heart is to see a beautiful lass like yerself living as if she is the one with no much time left.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Isobel surprised me by standing, turning about the room as she lectured me on my poor judgment.
“Ye know exactly what I mean, Jane. Why wouldna a lass like ye delight in having a man like Adwen desire yer affections? If I was no married and in love with my husband, I wouldna hesitate for a moment to bed the man until I dinna have the strength to rise from bed the next morning.”
“Isobel!” I started laughing so hard at the shock of her words that my ribs ached as she sat down next to me to join in on my laughter.
“What, lass? I doona know why it would surprise ye to learn that I have an appetite for such things. An appetite that has grown over the last few days, though I doona think Gregor has taken notice. He thinks me too fragile for such…activities.”
I drew in a shaky breath, still tickled by Isobel’s admission. “I’m not surprised at all that you have an ‘appetite,’ I’m just surprised at your bluntness is all.”
“Why? You are known for your loose mouth. Why would it upset ye when someone else speaks as ye do?”
I could tell my laughter had offended her, and I shook my head so she’d know it had been misunderstood. “No, it doesn’t upset me at all. It was refreshing to hear someone from this time speak so freely. It just surprised me is all.”
“Ah, I see. What do ye mean by ‘this time,’ Jane?”
“Uh,” I stuttered, scrambling to cover my mistake. “Just backward thinkers is all; I often feel like I was born ahead of this time.”
“Oh, I understand what ye mean, lass. Gregor often hears the things I say and thinks I’m blasphemous for allowing the thoughts to pass through my head. He has a closed mind if I’ve ever seen one, but I love him still.”
I exhaled, relieved that her questioning had gone no further. “Back to Adwen, Isobel. What exactly are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m trying to tell ye, that ye are a fool. Ye punish the man for behaviors of his past, no for the way he has ever treated ye.”
“Isobel...” I stood and paced the room. Speaking of Adwen made that same needy flutter that built in my stomach every time he touched me return. “People very rarely change. If I allowed Adwen to sleep with me, he’d be ready for us all to leave the next morning. Well, Cooper and me, at least. I expect he’d let you stay as long as you’d like.”
“Ye are right. Men doona change, but they do grow. I expect Adwen will always be a man with a great need to tup, but believe me, Jane, many a lassie wish their man would tup them more. ’Tis no such a dishonorable behavior. I doona believe he’s the sort of man who takes one lassie while he’s pledged himself to another; ’tis only that he tires of them quickly. ’Tis only that he’s never found the right one.”
I scoffed and crossed my arms. Every part of me wanted to believe what she said. “And you think that I’m the right one, do you?”
“Perhaps. I know that he cares a great deal for ye. And I doona believe for a moment that if ye bedded him, he’d wish ye gone the next morning. But how shall ye ever know if ye doona take the chance? Stop fighting against the things that ye want, lass, no while ye have the chance to reach for them.”
“I want to reach for things that are attainable, Isobel—I don’t think Adwen is. Not really.”
“How will ye know that if ye doona open yer heart to him, Jane?”
I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, pulling it into a messy knot, only to release it and start all over. It was a nervous habit I’d had my entire life.
“You’re not talking about me opening up my heart, Isobel. You’re talking about me opening up my legs.”
Isobel laughed, enjoying the authenticity of our conversation. She came over next to me and pulled my hands from my hair, holding them in her own to give them a quick squeeze.
“Ye doona have to open up yer legs, though I would if I were ye, but ye must at least open yer heart. If ye are worried that he will no longer want ye, ’tis the best way to see if yer fear is worth the worry. If he does indeed behave as ye believe he will, then a curse on him. At least ye will have spent a joyous night of lovemaking with a man so beautiful most lassies will only dream about laying with such a man. Truly, lass, have ye seen him? His teeth are as perfect as yer own. Though on him, I find it far less unsettling.”