Hadley sits down next to me, she’s brings her knee up under her, resting it against my thigh. I want more than anything to touch her, to find out how soft her skin is there.
“I leave tonight,” she says. I try not to let her words affect me, but they do. I knew this was going to happen, but wanted to stretch these days as far as I could. “I have to head out west for a few weeks before I have another break. Then I thought I could come see you.”
“Okay.”
She smiles. “I also thought we could text and talk as much as possible. I’m not sure I can go a day without hearing your voice.”
“I can’t,” I say.
“Why not?” The look on her face kills me. I sit forward and put my head in my hands. I can never be what she needs.
“I shouldn’t tell you this. You might think differently and that’s the last thing I want, but I work part-time to help out at home and sometimes I have extra money to buy minutes for my cell phone. I don’t always have minutes to use,” I mumble quickly into my hands.
She shifts, but not away, closer. Her fingers thread through my hair at the nape of my neck. Her touch is soft. I lean into her, wanting to be enveloped by her.
“I can help.”
I shake my head. I’m not going to allow her to take care of me. That is embarrassing and degrading. A man should take care of his girl, not the other way around.
Hadley kneels in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face. “If I get you a phone, it’s all for me. I’d be doing it for me so that I can talk to you. I’m going to need to talk to you every day. Knowing me, it’s going to be multiple times a day.”
Her fingers lift my chin, so we’re eye to eye. I can tell she’s serious in this request, but my pride is on the line. She shouldn’t have to buy me anything. It should be me spending money on her.
“You can let me buy you a phone, or I’ll leave mine sitting on this bench and you’ll be stuck with it and I’ll just use that to talk to you.”
I turn away and try not to smile. “You’re pushy.” I lean back, putting some distance between us. She stands, placing her hands on her hips. I laugh at her when her foot starts tapping. I shake my head and rub my hands over my face.
“Ugh.” I groan. I can’t keep looking at her. If I do, I know I’ll say yes to whatever she asks of me. Hadley steps in between my legs and threads her fingers through my hair. My eyes close on their own volition. I can’t believe that with just a simple touch from her, I’m about to buckle. I lean forward, placing my head against her stomach.
“I know it’s not conventional.”
“I have a feeling we won’t be conventional,” I mumble against her.
“Why be normal? Normal is so over-rated and boring. I don’t want to be boring. I want to be adventurous and daring.”
I shake my head and laugh. I place my hands on the back of her thighs, pulling her a bit closer as I kiss her stomach. She kneels in front of me again, her lips finding mine.
“Okay,” I say. She steps back and pulls the back of my hair to lift my head. The smile spreading across her face is enough for me to forget about what we just talked about, even though my decision is weighing heavily on me.
CHAPTER 14
Hadley
Anal Anna pulls my hair. Not sure what hairstyle she’s going for, but she says it’s something she learned while I was gallivanting all over Jackson for three days. My head rears back, my mouth drops in a silent ouch as she tugs. This is pure torture, plain and simple. I want to turn around and pull her hair, just like I would’ve done in kindergarten. I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid a verbal confrontation with her.
I haven’t seen Ryan in almost a week and it’s been nothing but agony. Facetime isn’t cutting it. I’ve been trying to find a way to sneak to Brookfield, even if it’s only for a few hours, but to no avail. I’m booked solid and the slightest gap in my schedule is being filled by last-minute appearances or interviews.
Each time someone asks about my personal life I want to tell them about Ryan and how I might be in love. Definitely falling in love, but not sure if I’m there yet. Although, I know I’m lying to myself, I’m there, just not willing to admit it to myself for fear he doesn’t feel the same way.
Ryan tells me that the guys in his school have my picture hanging from their lockers and that it pisses him off how they talk about me. He says they act like they know me and I have to remind him that they only know the performer – the one they read about in the countless interviews and articles – that he is the only one who truly knows me.
Alex walks in, her face grim. I try to ask her with my eyes what her problem is, but she just shakes her head and eyes Anal Anna. I’m not sure I like the look on Alex’s face. It usually means something is up and that probably means I won’t like it. Who knows what my uncle has done now.