Killing Me Softly(A Broken Souls Series)

He pulls out his cell phone and scrolls through his pictures before holding it up for me to see. Sure enough, it’s a rash… on his ass! He took a selfie of his ass rash in the mirror. He is standing in his boxers and holding one side of them down and taking a picture with his other hand. I need to call Andy and tell her about this, she’s going to die laughing. Dammit! I can’t call her, because she’s dead.

“I need a print of the picture,” I snap. My mood has gone from good to pissed in two seconds.

“You really need a picture of my ass to give me a thirty-five dollar refund?”

I cock my head to the side, my go-to defense pose when I’m hiding my feelings from the world. “I didn’t write the rules, but I follow them.” This is the look Andy called my bitch-face.

“Look, I’m not going to go print off a picture of my ass to get a thirty-five dollar refund. You can keep the powder and the money.” He shakes his head back and forth before taking his receipt and folding it up neatly before returning it to his wallet.

I stand at the register and watch him walk out of the store.

“What happened?” Sam asks.

“Nothing, I’m following policy,” I reply nonchalantly.

Sam looks at me like he wasn’t buying it for an instant. “Holland, one minute you were okay and the next you flipped and were pissed off.”

“I didn’t flip.” I gather up my paperwork to tally out our sales for the day. My dad flips, I just get pissed.

“I think there’s Pamprin in the office, if you need it,” Sam says sarcastically. Good thing I like him or I’d write him up just because I can.

“I’m not PMSing and just for that, you get to mop the floor tonight.” Without turning around, I head back to the office. When memories of Andy pop into my head, I’m reminded how lonely life is without her. I’ve been going to her grave and sitting there for hours. She was always my sounding board when it came to my dad, now I feel guilty for all the times I made her listen to me complain. We should have spent more time doing pranks and laughing at stupid movies. Now, I’ll never be able to do those things with someone. Lately, everything reminds me of her and I’ll either cry or get angry. It isn’t that I’m mad at her, it’s I don’t know when the pain will stop. My therapist says dumb things like, time heals all wounds, or everyone grieves differently. The therapist was Aunt Laney’s idea since the health insurance policy she bought for me covers the visits.

“Knock, knock,” Sam’s voice brings me back to reality. “Hey, do I really have to mop the floor? I have plans after work and I don’t want to smell like bleach and dirty mop water.”

“I told you to mop not take a bath. I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t ever hint for me to take Pamprin again, okay?”

“Deal. Your Aunt Laney is in the store, do you want me to send her back here?”

“No, I’ll go out there.”

***



Chapter Two. Raven

The full length mirror in my bedroom has two lipstick kisses on it. One night Andy and I were getting ready to go to a trendy bookstore in Oklahoma City. We loved to listen to local musicians sing. That night, I stood in front of the mirror and she kissed the mirror on my reflection’s cheek. She told me I’d always have a kiss from her when I looked in the mirror. Being silly, I stood on my tippy-toes and kissed the mirror on her cheek.

Now, as I stand in front of the mirror, I feel like I’m cheating on her by going with Sam and his sister to that same bookstore tonight. Sam’s sister, Bethany, wants to go see this guy who played a couple of weeks ago and he’s playing again tonight. They’ve been trying to convince me to get up and sing but I’m not doing any such thing without a drink or two in my system. Since I’m the designated driver, there won’t be any drinking tonight. Andy was notorious for making me get up and embarrass myself in front of strangers. I smile to myself at the memory of the craziness we did when we were together. I’ve hung out with Sam and Bethany a few times since Sam and his girlfriend broke up last month.

I fasten my necklace and put on the hoop earrings Andy bought me for my birthday last year. I take a step back to get the full effect of my outfit of skinny jeans, yellow loose midriff top and a pair of funky wedges. The top is only short enough to get a peek of my tan tummy; anything shorter and I’d be too paranoid I’d flash my goodies.

The TV is blaring a cooking show where a guy eats enormous meals in a set timeframe. Dad is in a good mood today as opposed to manic. His medication is regulated and seems to be helping him have longer periods of normal. His brand of normal isn’t the average person’s idea of normal. There’s a new program for mental health patients who live at home but aren’t able to hold a job. A local nursery sent over an employee with a bunch of pots and potting soil. Together they planted a variety of vegetables that will eventually be harvested and sold. Dad will get to keep half of the profits if he sits at the vegetable stand a couple of times a month. He’s been proud about how well everything is growing. It’s too soon for me to get my hopes up, but I am hopeful.

“Are you going out?” Dad asks as he shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He’s wearing his gardening clothes, a t-shirt and a pair of cutoffs.

“Yeah, I’ll be home pretty late. Do you have a drink?” I ask before going into the kitchen to get his pills together. The doctor suggested I keep the medicine locked up in case he gets depressed when I’m not home. It would be nice to be able to go out for the entire weekend and not have to worry about him taking his medicine, or killing himself.

The kitchen is small but clean and tidy.

My aunt had a construction crew come over and update the kitchen two years ago. It isn’t fancy with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, but it’s nice. The French-country kitchen is cool with the distressed off-white cabinets and butcher block counters. I love baking in this kitchen but the weather is getting too warm to run the oven. It’s only May but the thermostat has been rising steadily for the last few weeks. The high today was ninety but the nights are still cool enough to sleep with the windows open.

“Here Dad, take these,” I say as I hand him a glass of sweet tea and a handful of pills. “If you need anything, text me.”

“Be good and stay away from those military guys, okay?”

He’s always warned me to stay away from the military guys. He’s convinced that they’re nothing but trouble. I’ve never met any who weren’t looking for a piece of ass and a party. “Don’t worry Dad,” I say and give him a peck on the cheek. Thankfully he started taking showers since he’s been working outside or I would’ve waved to him.

***

Sam and Bethany share a small ranch house with their other sister Victoria. I learned the moment I met her that she’s bat-shit crazy. I’m not sure how many drugs she’s done, but she’s fried some brain cells. Apparently, she’s like a mad scientist and is always inventing something that will alter the way we live everyday life. When Bethany impersonates her sister, I usually laugh so hard tears stream down my face.

“Are you freakin’ kidding me? Shut the front door, you look SICK!” Victoria shouts at me as I walk in the house.

“You just closed the door and I feel fine,” I say to her. Nuttier than my dad.