Killing Me Softly(A Broken Souls Series)

“You don’t need to, I don’t want your night ruined because of me.”

“I’ll go to the dump and have a good time if I’m hanging out with you. This night has been great, I love being around you.”

“Thank you, I’ve had a great time with you too. Okay, you can follow me, but don’t get a ticket,” I say.

“Challenge accepted. I won’t get a ticket, but does that mean you’re a speed demon? This truck is more than capable of taking on your Hemi.”

I can’t help smiling back at him. “I might have a lead foot.”

***

The parking lot is mostly empty, except for a random car here and there. My aunt has told me stories of people being abducted from this mall in the nineteen-seventies. She said, that is why there are security officers on the roof, to patrol the activities in the parking areas. A couple of years ago, a girl was taken from another mall. She was on her cellphone talking to her boyfriend when someone grabbed her. Her body was found a week later. I have a can of mace on my key-chain and my cell ready to call 911 when I come out here alone.

Tate pulls up to my car and comes around to open the door for me.

“Holland, be careful. I’ll be behind you,” his arms go around my waist and hugs me. If I could just bottle this feeling up and take it out whenever I’m feeling alone, I could be a millionaire.

My ear is directly over his heart as he squeezes me a little tighter. The even thumping reminds me how short life is, and how Andy’s light went out too soon.

“I’ll be careful.” His hand gently moves to my face, my heart beats wildly in the center of my chest. I look up at him, wanting more, wanting his mouth on mine. His thumb glides across my bottom lip, like he’s debating if he should kiss me or not. Kiss me! My heart is surely about to explode at the intensity of his look.

“If everything is okay with your Dad, can I see you tomorrow?”

The cinnamon from the gum he had at the bar tickles my nose as he talks. “I’ll text you.” Come on! Kiss me!

His hand goes to the back of my head and he closes the gap between us. It started out gentle but hunger for more takes over. My heart is wildly thumping as his hands caress my back. My hands grip onto the back of his shirt, what I’m feeling is real. We’re real. We’re alive and God I want it to last, but all things must end. I pull away. His eyes are heavily hooded and I know he wasn’t ready to finish the kiss. We both know I have to leave, but neither of us want to leave this moment.

“Drive carefully,” He whispers.

“Okay,” Is all I’m able to say.

***

My leather seats are still warm from the afternoon sun. I turn up my stereo as loud as I can without blowing my speakers, and drive to the highway.

Paramore blasts in my ears as I pull into the hospital emergency room parking. Tate blocks in my car as he waits for me to get out. I walk over to the truck, he rolls down the window and I’m blasted with cold air.

“You’re a lunatic. A cute lunatic, but a lunatic nonetheless,” He says.

“Who me? I like to think of it as my spaceship and I’m headed for another universe.”

“Okay, Martian Holland, you drive like a crazed person. Text me and let me know everything’s okay. Thank you for going with me tonight.”

“Good night, I had a good time, thank you.” Without warning, I step up on his little step for the truck and lean in to kiss him.

“Mmmm, thank you.”

I jump off and start for the ER doors. Tate, the gentleman he is, waits until I’m safely inside before driving away.

***



Chapter Seven. Truth

“You had him committed? I’m his guardian, how were you able to commit him?” I ask Aunt Laney.

“Honey, he was a danger to himself. When he couldn’t reach you, he freaked out. He called me and started talking nonsense about how he was going to hurt himself. Holland, you can’t leave him alone for hours. Where were you? He said you were working, but I called up there and they said you left with a guy. Holland, that’s so irresponsible of you,” Aunt Laney scolded.

“Hold up, I’m allowed to live. I told him about my date after work. It isn’t as though he’s a child who can’t be left alone. He’s on new medication and has been very happy. Well, maybe not very, but he’s been better.” Dammit Dad! I want a real life.

“Are you sure he’s taking his meds?”

“Aunt Laney, I give him the pills, he takes them. I don’t sit there and make sure he’s swallowed them, no. What all did he say? Can I see him?”

Aunt Laney is normally done up with her fancy outfits and perfect poofy hair, tonight she’s in jeans and an oversized button down shirt. I’m sure it’s something of my Uncle’s. “They’re sedating him and once he’s calmed down, they’ll let us see him. He’s convinced himself that the guy you’re seeing is in the military and you’re going to leave him.”

“He hasn’t met Tate, I haven’t said anything about him to my dad. Yes, he’s military, but I wouldn’t tell my dad. Why does he hate the military so much? What if I fall in love with any guy and they have a job in another state? Tate’s an air traffic controller and they mostly stay at the base they get stationed at originally. It isn’t as though we’re getting married. I just started seeing him. Yes, I like him. I like him more than I’ve liked anyone in a long time.”

Aunt Laney puts her arm around my shoulders. She’s just a little taller than me, nothing significant. “We can put him in a home. Before you say anything, I want you to think about it, you would be free. Imagine having the chance to live as you want, date who you want, and not have to be responsible for him.”

I shake my head no. “You know I can’t do that. He’s my dad. If he were in his right mind, he wouldn’t act this way.”

“No, you’re right, he wouldn’t. You’re not turning your back on him, you’re giving him the chance to be healed.”

“He won’t get healed, he’ll be treated like an animal and locked up every night. I can’t…I just can’t.”

“At least think about it.”

“I won’t change my mind.” I go over and make a cup of coffee with their Keurig machine.

Twenty minutes later, a doctor comes out to talk to us. He tells me he has him on a seventy-two hour hold. They’re going to adjust his medication to include another anti-anxiety med. If he doesn’t have any improvement, they’ll keep him on a day to day basis. He tells me that family support must be available to him if he will be sent home. He hands me a stack of pamphlets for hiring nurses to come out to the house and help when I go out. Another one talks about suicide and how to avoid it as best as possible. It’s been so long since he was suicidal that I’d almost forgotten the stress it had me under.

Aunt Laney and I went in to see him together. He was asleep from the sedative. Instead of disturbing him, we left the hospital with the envelope full of information.

“Holland, think about what we discussed. You deserve a normal life. Call me if you need anything. I’ll stop by in a few days.” We hugged and walked to our cars alone.

Like a beacon of light, Tate’s truck is parked next to me. He has his Kindle out, I assume he’s reading. I tap on his window.

“You’ve been out here this whole time?” I ask.