Friday, September 25
3:01 pm
Nothing is more important than you.
I waited all week for Andrew's call. I tried him a few times, but it always went to his voice mail. I was anxious to know about Stacy, and I couldn't understand why he hadn't contacted me anymore. But finally, on Friday, he called me as I was leaving school.
“Andrew!” I answer. “Oh my gosh, finally! Why haven't you contacted me?”
“Sorry about that Scarlett. I was busy. Your sister has quite a busy schedule, and she is hard to get in contact with,” he replies. “But I have arranged a meeting.”
“Great!” I say. “Where at?”
“You aren't going to believe this, but you sister lives in Florida. Only about 30 miles from where you are.”
“Wow! Where at? I'll be right there!” I can't help but feel over excited.
“Not today. She is going to meet with you next weekend.” With Andrew's words, I feel my heart drop.
“Oh.”
“She wants to see you, Scarlett,” he assures me. “She just has other responsibilities.”
“Yeah, she sounds super thrilled. Glad she could schedule time to see her long lost sister.” I feel like throwing my phone. “I have to go, Andrew. Just... email me the details.”
Before he can respond, I click end on my phone and toss it on the seat beside me. As soon as I get home, I walk out to the beach and sit in the sand, watching the waves roll in. I let myself cry over my sister for the first time in a long time. Maybe it's to mourn over a sister I haven't seen in nine years. If she doesn't want to see me, I shouldn't want to see her either. But I do want to see her. I need to see her.
I hear shuffling beside me, and I look up to see Stephan sit down beside me. He doesn't say anything, he just puts his arm around me. After I sob into his chest for about five minutes, I pull back.
“Stacy can't 'schedule' me in until next weekend,” I use my fingers to make quotations when I say the word schedule.
“Come on, Scar. Give her the benefit of the doubt. She probably hates waiting too,” he counters. “Maybe there's a reason she needs to wait until next weekend.”
“What could possibly be more important than her sister?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I don't know, because to me, there is nothing more important than you.”
My heart warms at his words, and through my tears, I smile. Stephan always gives me a reason to smile.
He pushes himself up from the sand, and holds out his hand to help me up. Once I'm up, he kisses my forehead. “Now, you go get ready, because we are going on a date.”
“Races?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I'll take a break this weekend.”
5:03 pm
That's for me to know...
After leaving the beach, I get a shower, blow out my hair, and do my make up.
“Bridgett!” I yell to her from my bedroom door.
I hear her coming up the stairs. “Yes?”
“Can you help me pick out an outfit for my date with Stephan?”
She laughs. “You're asking help from me? Scar, look what I'm wearing...”
So, I do. She is currently wear a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair is in a messy bun, and she's wearing glasses.
She points to herself. “This is not somebody you ask fashion advice from.”
I laugh. “Well, at least tell me which outfit you like more.”
I lay two outfits on my bed.
“Where is he taking you?” She asks.
“I don't know,” I shrug.
“Awe, it's a surprise! How romantic.” She puts up her finger. “Give me just a minute, and I will help you pick out the perfect outfit.”
Bridgett leaves the room, and comes back a few minutes later smiling. She goes into my closet, and comes back out with a blue sundress.
“I happen to know that blue looks amazing on you,” she jokes. “Because, it looks amazing on me. So wear this with flip flops, and it will be perfect.”
“Did you call Stephan and ask where we are going?”
She nods.
“I seriously love you!” I throw my arms around her. “So where is he taking me?”
She laughs. “That's for me to know, and you to find out.”
6:43 pm
And you to find out.
“So, you have been living in Florida now for almost a month, and I just realized that I haven't taken you to any of the places that makes this state great,” Stephan says as we merge onto the interstate. “I think it's time I show you.”
I can't help but smile. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”
“No, but feel free to continue telling me.”
I pretend to think. “Well, I could start with your eyes. It's the first thing I noticed about you. Well, aside from your snarky attitude.”
“Hey, I wasn't being snarky. I was flirting.”
“I'm just glad you don't call me Blondie anymore. That was seriously getting old.”
“And I'm glad you don't call my stepbrother Thor anymore. It's kind of hard to compete with a Greek god,” Stephan counters.
I roll my eyes. “Come on, you have to admit, he has the bluest eyes ever. But once I had an actual conversation with him, I realized we had no chemistry.”
“And we have chemistry?”
“We have so much chemistry that we're literally smoking,” I smile. “And it's only a matter of time before we erupt.”
He clears his throat. “I'm kind of looking forward to this eruption. Think it will happen any time soon?”
“Stephan,” I swat my hand at his arm gently. “You are so bad.”
“Maybe, but you know you want me.”
“Oh, I do want you, but it's so much more fun to make you wait.” I laugh. “Besides, I'm waiting until we're in love.”
“Augh, the L word again.” He shakes his head, as if he can will the word to go away.
“Why are you so against love?” I ask.
“I'm not against love. I just think that love is a serious word. I have never told a girl that I love her, and I want it to mean something. I want the one and only girl I say it to, to be my wife.”
And right there, I lost my heart... to a boy named Stephan Montgomery.
7:03 pm
Chaos
We pull into our destination shortly after seven. Stephan opens the door for me, which I still think is the sweetest thing in the world, and we hold hands as we walk inside.
“So, what is this place?” I ask.
As soon as the door swings open, I can smell seafood.
“My dad used to take me here all the time. The food is amazing,” he answers.
The place is crowded, but we don't have to wait for a table... I assumed it was because of me. A few people were mad that we got ahead of them, which I feel bad about, but not for long.
We sit outside on the patio. Even though the sun is starting to set, it's still fairly warm outside, and we have an excellent view of the ocean.
“This is nice,” I say. “I can't believe I haven't eaten more seafood while living in Florida.”
“What's your favorite?” he asks.
“Snow crab.” My mouth waters just thinking about it.
“Me too,” he agrees. “So, I was wondering... What is life on tour like?”
“Thinking of becoming a musician?” I joke.
He shrugs. “Just curious.”
“There is only one word that comes to mind, and that's chaos.” I say honestly. “I remember one week I had six performances, three TV interviews, and four radio interviews in seven different states. I didn't sleep much that week. I practically lived on Red Bull, and whatever food I could eat on the drive to and from wherever I was going.”
“Is it always like that?”
I shake my head. “No, but it feels like that a lot. But, honestly, I miss it. It was a crazy life, but I wouldn't of had it any other way.”
“I know you haven't decided what you want for sure yet, but I think you should go back out there. You belong on stage. The spotlight follows you,” he says, pointing at the table next to us. A girl is taking a picture of me with her cell phone.
“I don't even notice anymore.” It's the truth. “After four years, I have learned to completely ignore it.”
“You know, Ethan Googled me a few days ago, and he found hundreds pictures of you and me together. He even found one of us kissing.”
I laugh. “I stopped Googling myself long ago.”
“It's kind of crazy.”
“Crazy is fun sometimes.”
I know that once I graduate high school, I will go back to making music. But, I also know it's going to be my music from now on. And I really think it's Stephan who has helped me see... It doesn't have to be one way or the other. I can be me, and still do what I love. I just have to fire my dad to do it.
After dinner, we decide to take a romantic walk on the beach... Though Stephan is stubborn, and possibly the most sarcastic guy I have ever met, he has these amazing moments where he's so sweet and thoughtful. Like right now. He's holding my hand, as we walk. Neither of us are saying a word, but we don't have to. The moment is so serene, and if I had the power to stop time, I would at this exact moment because everything is perfect.
“Scarlett?” Stephan is the one to break the silence.
“Yeah.”
“I really like you,” he says. It's simple, but the words are exactly what I need to hear. I can't help but smile.
“I really like you, too.”
“I've also fantasized my whole life about having sex on the beach.” And just like that, Stephan is back.
I playfully hit his arm. “I'm not taking the chance of getting caught. Couldn't you see the news tomorrow? Scarlett caught having sex on a public beach.”
“I was kidding, Scar.” His voice is very serious as he says it, and I know that he's telling the truth.
“Oh.” I paused. “So, I was wondering... What was your childhood like?”
“It was actually awesome. My dad was amazing. He always took me to baseball games, theme parks, and spoiled me rotten. He always made time for me. Mom was a lot different before he died as well. She was happier. We really had the perfect life.” He shakes his head sadly. “Looking back, I don't know how he did it. How could he hide his affair from both of us? Shouldn't there have been clues? But, there wasn't, Scar. He was so perfect.”
“Have you forgiven him?” I ask.
“Not yet,” he answers. “Someday I will, but not now. I can't.”
“I'm really sorry about what happened, Stephan. You and your mom didn't deserve that. Neither did Mona and her dad. I don't understand how they could have done that to you.” I feel overwhelmingly sad just thinking about the tragic situation.
“But, if you can find it in your heart to forgive your sister Stacy, I should find it in my heart to forgive him, you know?”
“I haven't forgiven her yet,” I respond, biting my lip.
“You will, though. I know you. You're too good to hold a grudge.” He stops and looks me in the eyes. “I love how you view the world. I've never met somebody so insightful. Sometimes I have a hard time believing you're only nineteen.”
“Ditto, Stephan. Seriously, you think things through, you don't just dive in head first,” I pause for a second. “Well, besides your racing. You are kind of crazy in that aspect. But you're a very deep thinker. And I know that your sarcasm is just something to scare people away. You have been so hurt, and you are scared to let anybody else hurt you, yet, you still let me in.”
He shrugs. “I just learn from life, and take each day one at a time.”
“Exactly! Most people at school are too worried about which table their sitting at, or who is popular, but not you. You don't care what people think. I wish I could be more like you.”
“You can't please everybody. There will always be haters, and you will never measure up in everybody's eyes. It's insane to even try.”
Once again, Stephan knows exactly what to say to me. Everytime.
Saturday, September 26
7:32 am
Why am I up this early on a Saturday?
Saturday morning, I was woken up at 7:30 am by Stephan, and Ethan. Apparently they were in the mood to surf, which meant I had to be as well.
“Leave me alone!” I pull the covers back over my head.
“The waves are calling,” Stephan says, pulling the covers.
“I don't even know how to surf. Do I need to remind you how terrible I was last time we tried?” I pull the covers up again. “It's Saturday, and it's way too early to be up, let alone doing physical activities.”
Stephan and Ethan both gasp dramatically. “How can you even say you're from California if you don't know how to surf? It's like you're cursing.”
I pull the covers down and glare at Stephan. “It's kind of hard to surf and win a Grammy at the same time. I was a little busy having a career. Besides, I'm from Washington.”
“Well we are going to teach you,” Ethan insists. “It will be FUN.”
“I suck.” They both continue to look... no GLARE... at me. I roll my eyes in defeat. I know there is no way to talk them out of this. “Fine. I'll come. But so is Bridgett. Go wake her up while I get ready.”
After the leave, I brush my teeth, throw my hair into a messy bun on top of my head, and put on a white bikini with yellow flowers. When I walk out of my room, Ethan, Stephan, and Bridgett are all waiting on me.
“How do you get ready so fast?” I ask her. Seriously, I didn't take more than five minutes. How was she ready before me?
She shrugs. “Let's go. Maybe we can actually learn something this time.”
I'm in the middle of the ocean, sitting on a surfboard, listening to Ethan explain how to surf. He's already demonstrated about five times. Bridgett and I have both tried twice, and failed. I think he's getting annoyed, but really, what did he expect? Neither of us are really very athletic.
While Ethan is demonstrating for the sixth time, Stephan comes over to us. “He's not a very good teacher. You're both standing too far back on your boards. You just need to distribute your weight more evenly.”
“Ok,” we both say.
“Now remember to feel the wave. Be the wave. You are the ocean, and all that other crap,” he jokes.
There is a wave coming. It's a small one, and Stephan feels confident we can handle it. So, together, Bridgett and I paddle out, doing exactly as Stephan instructed. I remember as I stand up to distribute my weight, and stand closer to the front of the board. And I actually stand up. I'm standing up on my board for about 10 seconds before I lose my balance and fall into the water.
When I come out of the water, I hear Stephan cheering. “That was AWESOME!”
I paddle back over to where Stephan and Ethan are, shortly followed by Bridgett. Stephan high fives us both.
“You guys were awesome. A few days of this, and you'll be pro in no time!”
“If my arms don't fall off first,” Bridgett complains, rubbing her forearm. “This is a serious workout.”
I'm not feeling it yet, though I use my arm muscles a lot more. Or, at least I used to. I should probably do some kind of work out so my arms don't get weak.
9:16 am
Breakfast conversations...
We go to Stephan and Ethan's house for breakfast, and their mom goes all out. Bacon, eggs, fruit, toast, biscuits, gravy, and every kind of cereal known to mankind.
“Please tell me you guys don't eat like this every morning,” I say, eying all the food.
“We don't,” Ethan assures me. “Just on the weekends, and during the summer.”
“Girls, don't worry. It's turkey bacon,” Sarah tells us, setting down a huge plate of bacon. “Less fat, and it's better for you.”
“Thank you, Sarah,” I smile at her. “Have you met my sister, Bridgett?”
“Yeah,” Bridgett answers for her. “We went shopping the other day while you were at school.”
“How did I not know this?”
Bridgett shrugs.
“Well, I'm glad you found something to do while I'm at school,” I say. “It's got to be boring staying home all day.” I turn towards Sarah, and say, “I've told her she can take my car, but she always refuses.” I say it because I don't want her to think I'm making her stay home.
“Your house is awesome, Scar. I could never get bored there,” she rolls her eyes at me, like I'm crazy. “And I'm not driving a car that costs more than a college education. What if I wreck it?”
“That's what insurance is for. Besides, it's not like I couldn't afford another one. In fact, let me buy you your own car.”
“No! Seriously. I came here to get to know you. I don't want to take anything from you. That isn't what this is about.”
“I know,” I try to calm her down. “Seriously, Bridge, you're my sister, and I love you. I want to do this. It doesn't even have to be an expensive car. Anything you want is yours.”
“I will not take something I didn't earn.”
An idea hits me. “You could be my manager.”
She laughs. “Yeah right. I have no experience, no college degree, nothing. I would have no clue what to do.”
“It's easy! All you have to do is answer a phone and keep things organized. Make sure I don't double book anything.” I am suddenly getting excited. “Since I'm on break, it's not too crazy right now. Once I start back next year, I will hire you an assistant.”
“That's an excellent idea,” Ethan says, reminding me there are other people in the room.
“Let me think about it,” she says.
“Take your time,” I smile. “It's a huge decision. Just let me know what you decide.”
“Ok.” She nods. “Tell me, are all breakfast conversations always this crazy?”
Everybody laughs, and we start eating the ginormous breakfast.
10:43 am
Scum bag
After breakfast, Bridgett and I go home to take showers. Stephan and Ethan are going to come over to hang out later, and we are going to watch movies.
I'm about to head to my room to take a shower when I hear Bridgett. It sounds like she's sick. I walk to her room and try to twist her bathroom doorknob, but it's locked.
I knock on the door. “Bridgett? Are you ok?”
A few seconds later, I hear the toilet flush and she opens the door. “I'm fine.” She leans over the sink and splashes water on her face.
“What's wrong, Bridgett? You can talk to me about anything.”
She looks at me with tears in her eyes, and I can tell that she is going to open up to me. “When I was 14, I had an eating disorder. I was able to hide it for two years. I was careful not to throw up at home, or around friends. Once my parent's found out, they got me help. I spent three months in a psychiatric hospital. After that I was better, and I haven't made myself throw up in almost three years. And then I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating with my college roommate. Since then, I've been sick again. I don't want to. I hate this part of me. But it makes me feel better, Scarlett. I don't want to miss him anymore.”
“That guy is a scum bag for what he did to you.” I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes. My sister... my BEST FRIEND... was hurting. It hurt me to see her hurting. “But you are so much better than this.”
She begins to sob at my words, and I hug her tightly.
“I will help you, I promise,” I whisper in her ear. “No matter what, I will always be here for you.”
“I know. I'm sorry that I let you down.”
“You didn't,” I promise her. “Just please, don't keep anything from me anymore. You are the most important person in the world to me. I am going to help you. No judgment.”
“Thank you.”
I call Stephan and let him know that Bridgett isn't feeling well. The truth is, we both need some sister time. I got a hold of a therapist who agreed to see us later on. I couldn't be there for my sister those two years she was sick before, but I can be there for her now. She is my priority.