11:55 pm
I know that look!
Stephan is paying his way in, and listening to the rules. Bridgett, Alec, and I are all standing by my Mercedes, trying not to draw attention to ourselves. We all even bought baseball caps from the gas station.
“The girls here are skanky,” Bridgett crinkles her nose, as a girl walks by. Her shorts are so short that her butt cheeks are hanging out the bottom.
“I've seen worse,” Alec counters with a shrug like it's no big deal. Of course to Bridgett, it is.
“Oh, come on,” Bridgett crosses her arms over her chest. “You can't tell me you're actually enjoying this...”
“Trust me, I have better taste than this. I like girls with class.”
And that is why I love Alec. He's not just an arrogant rock star that sleeps with every girl he can. He appreciates girls. And sure, he may be a man whore, but at least he's not a jerk about it.
“So, tell me Alec, how many girls have you been with?” Bridgett asks boldly, and I choke on the air.
“Oh my god, Bridge!”
She shrugs. “What? I'm curious!”
“You can't randomly ask somebody how many people they've f*cked. Way too personal.”
“It's ok,” Alec tells us. “I haven't been with that many women, honestly. I've turned down a lot more girls than I've said yes to.”
“In other words, he's lost count,” I nudge him gently with my elbow.
“Ha, ha,” he glares at me. “How many guys have you been with, Scarlett?”
“Ten.”
“You're practically a virgin!” Alec laughs, putting his arm around me jokingly. “My sweet, innocent Scarlett.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I am not sweet, or innocent. Though, I wish I was.”
“What about you Bridgett?” Alec turns to subject to her. After all, she is the one who started the conversation.
I look at Bridgett, who is now blushing. “I'm waiting for Prince Charming.”
“WHAT?” Alec's eyes are huge, as he looks at her. “No way!”
“It's not a big deal,” she defends herself. “I just want my first time to be special.”
“That's really sweet.”
Whoa, did the word “sweet” just come out of Alec Torch's mouth? This has got to be a first.
I look at Alec, who is looking at Bridgett, and suddenly realization hits me... I know that look! That is the look Stephan gives me.
Oh my god! Alec is totally crushing on Bridgett!
“What did I miss?” Stephan asks, coming up behind me.
“Nothing,” we all say in unison.
“Ok...” he looks at us all with a curious look. “The race is about to start. If you guys hear sirens, just take off, don't worry about me. If you happen to get pulled over, you know nothing. Use your celeb status to your advantage. This is a lot bigger than it is in Hope.”
“Good luck,” Alec says.
I walk with Stephan to his car. I can't help but feel worried. I've seen him race before, but like he said, this is a bigger deal. He pulls me close to me, and I rest my head on the chest.
“Be careful.”
“I will,” he promises.
I pull away, and he kisses me gently on the lips. A few seconds later, he's in his car, and pulling up to the starting line. I sigh, and walk back over where Bridgett and Alec are standing.
I'm nervous, so I twirl my hair with my finger. I can't stand to not be moving right now.
The race starts and it's only a few seconds before the cars are completely out of sight. Even though I can't see where they are, I can't help but watch the road for their return.
I hear Bridgett and Alec behind me, they're arguing about something, but I can't bring myself to listen. I'm wondering why they've been gone so long. Shouldn't they be back now? It feels like they've been gone forever.
Suddenly, I hear tires squalling, and I watch 3 of the 5 cars all racing ahead towards the finish. The guy beside Stephan tries to push him off the road, but Stephan pulls ahead, causing the other guy to run off the road. His car rolls over a few times, and I cringe.
I hope he's ok.
Stephan is neck and neck with the other car, but as they pass the finish line, Stephan is ahead literally by inches. I breathe a sigh of relief when Stephan's car comes to a safe stop. I run over to him and throw my arms around him. He hugs me back.
“I was so worried about you.” I pull back from his embrace, and notice the other two cars still haven't came yet. “Where are the others?”
“They crashed,” he answers, nonchalantly. “The first one went out before we were a minute into the race. The other guy crashed around the last curve. But hey, I'm going to grab my money, then we need to go. That other guy didn't look so good. We need to clear out before the cops and ambulances arrive. Tell Bridgett and Alec to meet us at the gas station we stopped at earlier.”
I run to them, and tell them what Stephan said, and within minutes, we are on the road. As we are clearing out, I hear sirens. I sigh in relief.
“Are you always so lucky? Missing cops, avoiding car accidents...”
“I'm good,” he sounds a little conceited. “And I've never got caught.”
“Lucky you,” I say.
“Speaking of luck, I won... Does that mean you'll stay in my room tonight?”
“And leave Bridgett all alone?”
“She won't be alone. She will have Alec,” he smiles. “I know you've seen the way he looks at her. It's kind of sickening, actually.”
I can't help but laugh. “You look at me the same way... Which is exactly why I'm not leaving her alone with him.”
“Yeah, I guess I kind of like you... A little,” he shrugs, but I know he's just messing with me.
“I think you like me a lot.”
“Well, I think the feeling is mutual.”
I can't help but smile. “You are correct.”
1:03 am
This is boring.
We get two rooms, one for the girls, and one for the boys. Stephan wasn't too pleased about it, but I told him I was not leaving my sister alone with Alec Torch all night. He may be my best friend, but I don't trust him with my very untouched sister.
We aren't tired yet, so Alec and Stephan hang out with Bridge and me in our room.
“I'm starving,” Stephan complains.
“We just ate! At like, nine...” I laugh at him.
“Exactly. Four hours ago. I need substance.” He grabs the phone book. “Who wants pizza?”
Alec and Stephan are both hungry, so they order a pizza. I envy their metabolism.
“I'm going to go pick it up,” Stephan says, grabbing his keys.
“Why not have it delivered?” I wonder.
“My car was making a funny noise. I wanted to check it out before tomorrow,” he explains. “I want to make sure it'll be alright on the drive home.”
“Want me to go with you?” I ask.
“No, it's ok. You can just hang out here. It'll only take me a couple minutes.” He walks out the door, and I go sit on the edge of the bed. Bridgett is laying back on the other bed, switching through channels on the TV, and Alec is messing with his phone.
“The races were fun,” I comment, trying to start a conversation. All I got was a half nod from Bridgett, and no response from Alec... I'm so glad that this trip is bringing us together.
Well, this is boring.
I pull out my iPhone, and check out my emails. I have one from my dad, telling me about a movie premier I was invited to. He doesn't tell me he misses me, and it's very professional. I delete it without a response.
I have another email, it's from Andrew Davis. I still haven't told him to call off the search for Stacy. I made a mental note to do that in the morning. I open the email.
Scarlett,
I think I found Stacy. I can't give you any details yet, but I will be contacting you soon.
Andrew Davis
My heart speeds up as I read his words... He found Stacy. Earlier that day, I had promised myself I wouldn't look for her. Now that he knows, I am not so sure I can just ignore the news. I have to know. I've spent nine years blaming myself for her running away. I need to know the real reason.
“You look like you've just seen a ghost,” Alec says to me, breaking the silence in the room.
“I think I have,” I whisper, so quiet I am not sure if anybody heard me.
I don't even have time to process the information before Stephan walks into the room, without a pizza. He's covered in oil, and he looks pissed.
“What's wrong?” I ask.
“I don't know yet. I started my car, and it sounded terrible. So I opened the hood, and my car threw up oil on me.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I don't have the tools to fix it. We're going to have to wait on a shop.”
I don't think I've ever seen him this pissed, and it's honestly scaring me.
“So, we will wait.” I keep my voice at a calm level, trying to get him to calm down. “It's not a big deal.”
“I never let anybody else work on my car. It was me and my dad's thing.” He looks so vulnerable as he tells me.
“So, we could have it towed home...” I suggest.
“Have my car towed four hours? Seriously? Do you have any idea how much that would cost?” He looks at me like I've grown a second head.
“Well, no...”
At this point, Bridgett and Alec are both standing around us. Alec puts his hand on Stephan's shoulder. “Dude, chill. We will figure this out.”
“I know...” he breathes. “This just really sucks.”
“You stay here,” Alec tells Stephan, “and I will go pick up the pizza.”
By the time Alec gets back with the pizza, Stephan has taken a shower, and has seemed to calm down a bit. They eat pizza and then go back to their room. Stephan tries to get me to stay with him, but I refuse.
I know! Trust me, I know! Why turn Stephan down? He's beautiful, amazing, and everything I have ever wanted. But, I want to wait... Though, I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.
Or maybe I do know.
Maybe I'm waiting for love.
Saturday, September 19
9:03 am
Breakfast
The next morning, Stephan was able to drive his car (very slowly) to a nearby mechanic shop. I could tell he was sad to leave his love in the hands of somebody else, but he knew that he didn't have much other choice in the matter. They told us to give them until around 3pm, they were going to try to “work him in”, which in mechanic world meant, “hope you don't have plans for a while”.
We all decide to go grab some breakfast. I just order some fruit, and everybody looks at me funny.
“What? I don't want to get fat...” I say it like I'm joking, but I'm completely serious. I used to have a nutritionist planning all of my meals, and a personal trainer. Since moving to Hope, I've let a lot of things slide. I haven't gained weight, YET, but if I keep up like I have, I will.
“Scarlett Ryan and fat don't even belong in the same sentence,” Alec says.
Stephan is shaking his head at me. “Seriously, you're such a girl... You're beautiful, and truthfully, you could stand to gain some weight.”
Alec nudges him. “Dude, no. Never tell a girl she's too fat, or too skinny.”
“I'm comfortable with my body,” I counter. “I just don't have Bridgett's metabolism. I have to work to look this good.”
Bridgett looks uncomfortable at the mention of her. I can tell she's not used to being the center of attention.
We all eat, and thirty minutes later, Bridgett excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
“So, what are the plans for today?” Alec asks me.
“Shopping, duh...” I've been stuck in a small town, and haven't been to the mall in way too long.
Alec and Stephan both groan, but neither of them say anything.
“I think I'm going to go to the bathroom, too.” I get up from the table and walk to the bathroom. I'm laughing to myself. When I step inside the bathroom, I hear somebody throwing up. “Bridgett?” I ask.
I hear a toilet flush, and Bridgett walks out of the stall. She looks very white.
“Oh my god, are you ok?” I ask, putting my hand to her forehead. She doesn't feel warm.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” she quickly replies. “I felt a little sick to my stomach, but I'm feeling better now.”
When Bridgett talks, she doesn't look me in the eyes, so I know that she's lying. But why would she lie about being sick?
“Ok, well, let me know if you feel sick again.” I really wasn't sure what else to say, I just know that I'm going to keep a close eye on her for the rest of the day.
10:43 am
Two point five kids.
After eating, we hit the mall. It's been almost a month since I went shopping, and I am in desperate need of retail therapy. Alec is really excited, despite his earlier reaction. Bridgett and him go off on their own, which I worry about. I really wanted to spend the day with her, so I could watch her. But I was also glad. Stephan and I needed some alone time.
Stephan holds my hand as we walk through the mall, and it feels right. Touching him, and being close is something that I crave.
“So, there is something that I need to tell you,” I tell him, once again thinking about the email I got from Andrew Davis.
“What is it?” His voice is full of concern.
I hesitate, hoping he doesn't think I'm crazy for wanting to find Stacy. “Do you remember me telling you about my older sister Stacy? The one who ran away...”
He nods.
“Well, I hired a private investigator to find her, which is how I found Bridgett,” I fidget with my fingers as I tell him. “I was going to tell him to stop looking for Stacy. I figured if she wanted to find me, she would. Then yesterday, I got an email from my PI... He found her.”
“That's great, Scar.”
I shake my head. “I'm not so sure, actually.”
“Why not? You're finding your sister after 9 years.”
“She's known where I have been my whole life. She's seen me on TV. But not once has she tried to contact me.” Angry tears threaten to escape my eyes. “I'm not sure I want to see her anymore.”
He stops suddenly, and turns me so I'm looking straight at him. “You owe it to yourself to go see her, and at the very least get some closure.”
He's right, and I know that. “I know.” Despite how angry I am at her, I began to really wonder about Stacy. “Do you think she has kids? Maybe I'm an aunt.”
“How old is she now?”
“She is 26. I hope she's had a happy life. Maybe she is married with two point five kids, living in the suburbs somewhere with a nice house, and a super awesome SUV that she hauls her kids to soccer practice in.”
Stephan laughs. “You've really thought about this, haven't you?”
I nod. “Yes, I have. I also wonder how I will be at 26. I'm not going to be a rock star forever.”
“26 is still very young. You will be the perfect age to play a teenager is some TV drama,” he jokes. “You could be the new Gossip Girl.”
“You know that gossip girl was a guy, right? But I like your way of thinking. Maybe my sister isn't married, and doesn't have kids. Maybe she's a successful business woman,” I smile at the thought. “Rich all on her own. I like it.”
“See, this is why you have to go see her. You need to know if she's doing alright.”
I nod, because I know that what he's saying is true. I have wondered about Stacy my whole life, and I need to see with my own eyes that she is alright. I need to hug her. But most of all, I need to know why she left. I've spent nine years blaming myself, and I owe it to myself to know the truth so I can move on.
“When Andrew calls me, I will go,” I decide.
“Good.”
“Yep, and now I need to get your opinion on some shoes,” I say, dragging him into the shoes store. I hear him groan behind me, and can't help but smile.
1:32 pm
You can't eat sushi with a fork.
For lunch, we go to a nice Japanese restaurant. Bridgett reveals to me that she's never had sushi before, so I insist that she try it.
“I don't know how I feel about raw fish,” she reasons with me.
“Not all sushi has raw fish in it,” I counter. “Besides, you have no choice. You have to try it.”
“Fine,” she says in defeat.
I smile. “You will love it, I promise. It's even low in calories.”
I order all my favorite rolls – California, tuna, and salmon. I like to venture out, and try new things, but once I ordered squid and couldn't eat it. I just looked at it, thinking of Squidward. So, when it comes to sushi, I stick to the basics.
Stephan comes to the table, with a smile on his face. “It won't be too much longer.” He then explains what is wrong with his car, which I tune out. I love cars, don't get me wrong, but I definitely know nothing about repairs.
Alec and Stephan go back and forth talking about cars, so I talk to Bridgett.
“How are you feeling?” I ask her. “Have you gotten sick anymore?”
“No,” she shakes her head. “Maybe I was allergic to something that I ate this morning.”
“Does that happen a lot?”
“No. It was just a fluke thing...”
The conversation is making her nervous. But why is she nervous? “Ok, well, I'm glad you're better,” I say, dropping the topic. I am just being paranoid for no reason, I decide.
The waitress brings out our sushi and I watch Bridgett pick up her fork.
I laugh. “You can't eat sushi with a fork.” I pick up my chopsticks, and show her how to hold them. Then I mix the wasabi and soy sauce. “Wasabi is really strong, so you just want to barely dip it.” I dip the bottom of the sushi in, pull it out, and eat it.
“Ok,” she tries to mimic what I did, but ends up dropping her piece in the wasabi.
“You know, sushi is good without wasabi,” I say, moving the sauce aside.
She tries again to pick up a piece of sushi, and end up dropping it back onto her plate. She picks up the fallen piece with her fingers, and puts it in her mouth. I watch, waiting for her reaction.
“So?”
“Wow. I can't believe I've been missing out on such an amazing food my whole life!” She reaches for another piece.
“I told you!”
6:52 pm
F*cking fantastic!
It's almost six before we get on the road. I drive my car with Bridgett back, and Alec rides with Stephan... They both mention something about too much girly time?
I sip on my Red Bull, and Bridgett looks at me with disgust.
“How can you drink that nasty crap?”
I take another drink. “Augh... Amazing!” I laugh. “Seriously, Red Bull has got me through so many performances. I don't know what I would do without it.”
“It's so bad for you!”
“Actually, it has less caffeine than a cup of coffee,” I counter. “Its packed full of vitamin B12, and it stimulates your metabolism!”
She rolls her eyes. “Ok, I believe the first part, but I don't believe the metabolism part.”
“It says so right here on the can!” I point to it. “You should research your facts next time. Seriously, Bridge, I thought you had all the brains.”
“Ha, ha,” she replies, unamused. “Obviously I'm not as smart as you. You're a millionaire at age 19. I'm just a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend, no car and no money.”
“You're not a college dropout! You're simply taking a break.” I smile. “If you want, after I graduate, I will even go to college with you!”
“Yeah, right,” she says. “You don't need college, Scar. You're awesome without it.”
“But I would do it, for you.”
“I am so sick of people doing things for me!” she screams. “Why does everybody think that I'm so vulnerable? I'm not a child!”
“That's not what I meant....” I pause, glancing at her, then back at the road. “Are you ok?”
“Yes! I am f*cking fantastic!”
I take a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say. I decide to go with an apology. “I'm sorry. You're right, you don't need me, but maybe I need you.”
“You don't need me.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“Yes I do, Bridgett. Before you, my life was a mess. I came to Hope because I had none. And then I met Stephan, and now you...” I shake my head. “I've been missing friends, family... love. Sure, I had everything I ever wanted. Money, cars, houses, clothes, drugs, but none of that made me feel anything. I was so empty. But I'm not anymore! My life is worth living now! So, you may not need me, but I do need you.”
Bridgett doesn't say anything for a minute, but the silence isn't awkward. My words are still lingering in the air, and she is taking them in.
“You know, there has always been something missing in my life too,” she finally says. “I didn't know what it was until you walked into my life. You are a part of me Scarlett, and I am a part of you. And sure, we may like different things, and life may separate us over time, but you will always be with me. No matter how many thousands of miles desperate us, you are my sister... My TWIN! And we may fight, and drive each other crazy, but at the end of the day we will make up.”
I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. “I love you, Bridge.”
“I love you too, Scar.”
She picks up her bottle of Dr. Pepper, and holds it out. “I propose a toast.”
I pick up my Red Bull.
“Here is to us. Here is to looking towards the future, and never letting the past control us.” We tap out drinks together and both take a sip.
It was our first fight. Though I'm still unsure why we fought, I was glad that we made up. I knew at that moment that Bridgett and I would always be alright.
Later that night, Bridgett and I drive Alec to the airport (in my new car). I'm sad to see him go, but I know I will see him again soon... Especially considering the way Bridgett and him keep looking at each other.
On the drive home, Bridgett is extra quiet. I know that I need to talk to her about what happened in Miami, but I decide to give her a little time. Because the truth is, I am not sure what to say.