“How are you supposed to get over it if you don’t have space from him?” Ezra asks softly.
“I’m working on it. Eventually I’ll become desensitized to the way he touches me, the adorable smiles he sends my way, and then it’ll be easy to ignore the stupid feelings that have no right to live inside me.” I don’t know how to be without Dex. I’ve been trying to put distance between us for months, but it doesn’t work, so I need a new tactic.
“Look, we love the guy,” Ezra says, and Oskar agrees. “But he’s never going to pick up on your feelings for him, and by not saying anything, you’re not giving him the chance to choose not to hurt you. If he knew how much his affection gets to you, he’d stop doing it.”
“Exactly.” I throw up my hands. Then I wouldn’t have any part of him.
Ezra drags a hand back through his hair. “You’re both great people who will do anything for the other, but watching from the outside, you’re pucking disasters.”
“Fucking disasters,” Oskar says. “They’re so bad they require actual cursing.”
I want to argue, but I really can’t. Well, except in one aspect. “Just because you’re in a relationship now, Ez, that doesn’t mean you know everything.”
“Of course it doesn’t,” he says. “I knew everything before Anton fell head over heels in love with me. It’s probably why he fell hard and fast.”
“Weren’t you guys sleeping together for months before he’d even admit he liked you as a friend?” Oskar asks.
Ezra waves him off. “Meh, technicalities. He was in love with me before he knew he was in love with me.”
I rub my chin. “Hmm, would he say the same thing?”
“Yup. Just … don’t ask him though or anything. Because … uh … he’s a very private person?”
Oskar turns to me. “He’s lying through his teeth.”
“Oh, I got that.”
Oskar puts his arm around my shoulders. “Okay, here’s how we’re going to play it. Ezra, you and Anton run interference by inviting Dex whenever you leave the house.”
“What if we plan to fuck in the woods?” Ezra asks.
“Keep it in your pants for once,” Oskar says. “This is important.”
“Wow. What a great … vacation. Where’s the fun in hiking if you don’t get orgasms out of it?”
“I think I’ve been hiking wrong,” I mumble.
“When we’re in the house, I’ll be all over Tripp.” Oskar turns to me. “Dex will leave you alone if he thinks you’ve got a boyfriend, won’t he?”
I don’t tell him how just last week Dex climbed into bed in between me and a hookup. “That won’t work.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re you. And I’m me. And you and me …” I shudder.
“Whatever. I’m the hottest man you’ve ever been with.”
“Except I’ve never been with you, and it’s going to stay that way.”
“I’m sure there’s an insult in there somewhere.”
“Not at all. I’m not insinuating you’re too much of a manwhore for me, or you no doubt have kinks I don’t want to know about. At all.”
“I’m not that kinky. A thing for public sex isn’t kinky. And if you think it is, I feel really sorry for your sex life. Maybe we should hook up so I could teach you a few things.”
I hang my head. “Are we hiking or what?”
Ezra whines. “It’s the off-season. Can’t we lie and say we did it?”
“Ooh, wager,” I say. “If I beat you guys to the end of this trail and back, we’ll play the next two weeks how I want to—by supporting our friend who’s going through a breakup. If one of you win, we can do it Oskar’s way. By trying to keep Dex away from me. Ready, set, go.”
I don’t give them a chance to object before I take off running. I’m not above cheating to get my way. I do, however, forget to take into account that it’s two against one, and those fuckers will stop at nothing when it comes to winning.
So when we’re on the second half of the trail, heading back to where we entered, it shouldn’t catch me by surprise when Oskar grabs me from behind and holds me back while Ezra sprints to the end.
“Cheaters!” I yell.
“You never set any ground rules,” Oskar says, but he doesn’t release me. “Come on, boyfriend. Let’s tell your bestie that you’re my one true love.”
Hmm, how to tell my fake husband that I have a fake boyfriend …
I’m starting to regret going on this trip.
After I shower the hike off me, I throw myself down on the couch, and then suddenly I’m being sandwiched in between Oskar and Dex.
“Did you have a good walk?” Dex asks.
Oskar pulls me to his side and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “We sure did.”
I close my eyes and pray for an alien spaceship to arrive and get me out of here. I wouldn’t even hesitate to jump up and down and yell, “Take me! I don’t want to be on Earth anymore!”
Dex frowns at Oskar’s arm wrapped around me but doesn’t mention it. “Want to go for a swim?”
“We were going to do that later tonight after all you kids are in bed.” Oskar waggles his eyebrows. “If you get what I mean.”
Dex’s frown deepens. “Uh, Tripp? Is there something you want to tell me?”
“Nope.” Because I can’t lie to him. At least, not about this. I apparently have no problem telling him I’m fine when I’m really, really not, but this is where I draw the line.
“Tripp and I are hooking up,” Oskar says.
Dex glances at Anton. “That’s what you were trying to tell me earlier?”
Wait, what?
“Uh, nope. This is new information. Startling information,” Anton says.
“He’s lying.” Ezra steps up beside his boyfriend. “We’ve known all along.”
Anton leans in close and whispers, “We have?”
I hang my head in my hand.
“My boyfriend forgets these things easily,” Ezra says. “We fuck each other so hard every night that our short-term memory is affected from hitting our frontal lobes against the headboard.”
Dex cocks his head. “Why don’t you have sex facing the other way?”
“I think we’ve found where your genius lies—in sexual positions.” Ezra nudges Anton. “I think we might need to give that one a try.”
“Right now?” Anton squeaks and then glances between us.
“Don’t worry,” Dex says. “Whatever happens on va-gay-tion, stays on va-gay-tion, remember? We will ignore the porn-like soundtrack if you guys need to fuck it out.” Then he turns to us. “That goes for you two as well.” He runs a hand through his dark blond hair. “I get why you didn’t want to share a room now, but you could’ve told me. Pretend I’m not here. I’ll hang out in my room, go for a swim, and catch up with you guys when you aren’t having couple time.” And there’s the Dex I love. So trusting he doesn’t pick out the glaring holes in our story, because he doesn’t think for a second that his friends would lie to him. I can tell he’s not impressed by me not telling him, but he goes straight into supportive best friend mode anyway.
“Great. We can start now,” Oskar says and stands, taking me with him.
“Where are we going?”