“Yeah, because they’re planning on banging all night.” He takes my bag and hands it to me. “Dex, I love you, but I’m not going two weeks without jerking off. Find your own room.”
I almost, almost say we can do that shit together—it’s not like we’re subtle in our rooms at away games. I mean, we don’t talk about it, but that’s the rule on the road. You always pretend you don’t know when the dude in the bed next to you is rubbing one out. But the sharing a bed thing is probably where it crosses a line.
I act like it’s no big deal and take my bag before heading down to the next room, wondering if this is one of those things that should have been obvious.
It hadn’t occurred to me that we’d have separate rooms.
It’s not a big deal, though, because we won’t be spending much time in them anyway.
I get changed into some swim shorts and grab my towel because the lake is calling my name. The others must still be unpacking or whatever, because there’s no one else around as I head down to the short dock and jump in.
The water is heaven. I dive deep and swim across the murky bottom, killing time until Tripp comes out to join me. And even though the day has started out with awkwardness, I know it won’t take long for everyone to loosen up. There’s no way any gross lingering feelings can hang around out here.
I have no idea how long I swim for, but when my skin starts to feel more hot than warm, I grab my towel and head in. Anton’s sitting on the huge front deck, wearing swim shorts and a T-shirt, black hair parted as neatly as ever, while he sips a glass of scotch or bourbon or something. Even just hanging out casually, he intimidates me a bit. Where Tripp’s thing is being the sweet one, and I’m the dumbass one, Anton is the one who has his shit together.
“Good swim?”
“Yeah, it was nice.” I nod at his swim trunks. “You going in?”
“Maybe when Ezra gets back. I’m relaxing for the moment. Winning the Stanley Cup really takes it out of you.”
“Is that how it’s going to be for two weeks? Constant ribbing by you and Ezra on how you kicked our asses?”
“When you go away with two of the most egotistical guys in the league, you really should be expecting it.”
I grin because he’s not wrong about that. Hockey players all have a healthy amount of ego, but Anton and Ezra take it to the next level.
“So where’d he go?”
“For a walk somewhere with Oskar and Tripp.”
“Tripp?” I turn to look toward the tree line like he’s going to pop out at any moment. “He, umm, he didn’t say he was leaving.” Huh. Well, I guess we never actually talked about going for a swim first; I just assumed he’d join me.
When Anton doesn’t reply, I turn to find him watching me. “Maybe he wanted time with his other friends.”
“Nah.” I immediately dismiss the idea. “We do everything together.”
“You don’t do … everything together.”
My face heats. “Do you … are you meaning, like, sex stuff?”
Anton shrugs.
“Well, no. We don’t do that. Obviously.”
Anton eyes me. “Because you’re straight, right?”
“Exactly.”
He hums. “Don’t you …”
“What?”
“I don’t think it’s my place.”
“Why? We’re all friends. I don’t know you as well as the others, but we’ve got two whole weeks to fix that. You’re important to Ezra, Ezra’s important to Tripp, and Tripp’s important to me. That’s six degrees of best friend shit.”
He rubs his jaw, which is darkened by a day’s growth. “Look, I know you and Tripp are close. And you have a great relationship, but don’t you ever think you spend too much time with him?”
“Have you met Tripp? There’s no such thing as too much time with him.” And people think I’m dumb.
“Look at it this way. Ezra and I are actually dating. We’re partners in crime. We’re each other’s number one. And yet, I chose to stay here while he went off with his friends. I can be his priority without having to be with him all the time.”
“To be fair, everyone needs a break from Ezra now and then. He’s exhausting.”
Anton rubs at the smirk he’s trying to push down. “True. But … the same goes for everyone, don’t you think? It’s good to have space sometimes.”
“What are you saying?”
“He won’t forget you just because you’re out of sight for a minute.” His tone has taken on a tinge of sympathy I don’t like.
“It sounds like you’re telling me I need to spend less time with Tripp, and I don’t.”
“How do you know you won’t burn out on each other?”
Is that even possible? “Tripp’s the sweetest dude ever. It’d be like you asking if I’d ever burn out on chocolate cake. Or those yellow cocktails with that creamy stuff in them. I know you don’t know us well, but we’ve been inseparable since we met. It’s how we like it, and I’d never upset him by saying we need time apart.”
Anton takes a small sip of his drink. “You know what, I give up.”
“Give up on what? Why do I feel like you’re trying to tell me something without actually saying it? If the countless articles digging at my intelligence haven’t clued you in, I need to be told things straight up or they go right over my head.”
He gives me a look that seems too close to pity to be comfortable. It’s like I can hear him thinking poor, dumb Dex doesn’t get it. “You know what? Forget I said anything. It’s a queer thing, so you won’t understand even if I did explain it to you.”
That feeling of not being wanted starts to creep up, but then … Realization dawns on me. “Oh … Oh. Is this like an orgy thing? I didn’t know you all … got together like that. Tripp never said. Is it like a ‘what happens on va-gay-tion stays on va-gay-tion’? Because you guys can totally get your rocks off. I’m good at pretending I know nothing.”
Anton stares at me, and I’m not sure if he wants to yell at me or laugh. “I don’t share Ezra. Ever. Like I said. Forget we even had this conversation.”
I want to try to, but I don’t think that’s possible now.
If they’re all not fucking … why is it weird that I’m here?
Six
TRIPP
As soon as we pass the entrance to the hiking trail, I get whacked on the back of the head. Twice.
“I knew this hike was a ruse.” I rub where Oskar and Ezra both hit me.
We stop where we are, blocking the path for anyone else coming either way, but we’re the only ones out here that I’ve seen.
“Duuude,” Oskar says.
I look at Ezra to help.
He just shakes his head. “Dude.”
I throw up my hands. “Dex and Jessica broke up. What was I supposed to do? Say sorry you’re going through a rough time, but I’m going to leave you here alone while I go on vacation with my friends? You know that would hurt him.”
“And bringing him here hurts you,” Ezra counters.
“You’re in love with him,” Oskar exclaims. “A straight guy.”
They’re not saying anything I don’t already know.