I came in from clearing the front of the house. I’d been at it for a couple of hours and I needed a break. The house was utterly silent. I hung up my wet clothes and went into the kitchen, passing the closed bedroom door. Nothing had changed or moved. Obviously, she hadn’t come out. I made a sandwich and hesitated. Should I offer her one? I looked over at Bear who was by the hearth and continuing to ignore me. I sat and ate, not even tasting what I was chewing. Not caring how it tasted, I just heated up some of the leftover coffee. Now that the snow had stopped, the temperature had dropped and it was cold out. I just needed the warmth. I added some logs to the fire and sat looking at the flames. I glanced towards the hall. Would Rabbit think to add logs and not let the fire go out?
I shook my head. Fuck. I didn’t want her cold or hungry. I just needed to stay away from her before I allowed something to happen that she might regret. If we acted on our impulses and it turned out she was married, she would regret it. I knew she would torture herself for it. I would rather she hate me, than carry that kind of guilt around.
I stood up and made another sandwich. Then, I went down the hall and knocked on the door. There was no answer but I opened it and went in. Rabbit was sitting in the chair by the window, with a blanket and a book. She stared at me wordlessly as I walked in. I placed the sandwich on the table beside her and went over to the fireplace, adding logs. “Don’t let the fire go out, Rabbit. We need it.”
She said nothing. I stood up and went over to my closet and grabbed some more dry clothes. “I don’t expect you to stay holed up in here. You can go anywhere you want it the house. And eat. You need to keep up your strength.”
Still nothing. I sighed and looked over at her. She was staring down at her book. She was incredibly pale and drawn-looking. My heart lurched at the sight of her suffering. I softened my voice. “I’ll be in and out all day, and probably tomorrow, working on the snow. You don’t have to stay in here.” I paused, but there was no response. “Are you in pain? Do you need some pills?”
She shook her head but still didn’t say anything. “I’ll be in later to add more logs to the fire. Eat your sandwich, Rabbit.”
I walked towards the door.
“Joshua.”
Her voice stopped me and I turned.
She looked at me with pain-filled eyes.
Her voice was tight. “Don’t call me that again.”
I nodded and pulled the door closed behind me.
It worked.
She hated me.
Chapter Ten
Joshua
I sat in the hot tub, the water moving around me; my leg throbbing painfully. The front part of the house leading to the barn and the drive was plowed, but it had taken most of the day. Tomorrow, I would start the process of the long, winding drive, but at least I would be inside the truck where it would be warmer. After a while, the jets shut off and I lay there in the hot water just letting the warmth seep into my cold body. I had heard some footfalls moving overhead earlier and knew Rabbit had gone back into the bedroom now that I was back in the house. A couple of times when I stopped to take a break, I had caught a glimpse of her at the window looking out. The urge to wave at her had been so great, and yet I resisted. I wasn’t sure if she knew I saw her and I didn’t want her staying in the bedroom all the time to avoid me seeing her. I was dreading the long evening that stretched out in front of me. Normally, I would read or work, but neither appealed to me. What did appeal to me was some great-tasting dinner and the quiet company of a tiny stranger. I grimaced as I stood up. I wouldn’t be having either of those again. I winced as I recalled the tone in her voice when she told me not to call her Rabbit anymore.
I dried off and dressed, climbing the stairs slowly. I needed some pain meds. I hesitated outside the bedroom door, then straightened my shoulders and knocked before walking in. The room was darker now and Rabbit was curled up on the bed, her back to the door. I added logs to the fire, noting that she had brought some in from the front room. I went and got some pills, also noticing they were in the exact place I had left them, meaning she hadn’t taken any. I knew she had to still be hurting and I closed my eyes and took a calming breath as I felt a ripple of anger go through me. I swallowed a couple of tablets and shook two more into my hand and refilled the water glass.
I strode over to the bed and set the tablets and water on the table. “If you think not taking any pain medication is somehow getting even with me, then you’re acting stupid, Rabbit. The only one suffering because you’re being stubborn is you. Take the pills,” I said coldly.