Realizing there was nothing to be achieved here, I pulled up my hood. “Come on; let’s head back to the house.”
I walked over and opened the door and waited for her to catch up. She was walking slower than ever, thanks to the huge boots and my coat, which I had insisted she put on. I had tightened the boots as tight as I could make them, but she was an amusing sight as she attempted to walk, lifting her feet in clumsy-looking steps. As she drew near, I flicked up her hood. “Stay close,” I instructed.
The wind had picked up again and the swirling snow was almost blinding at times. I walked in front of her, trying to block the wind, checking over my shoulder every few feet to make sure she was still behind me. We were close to the house when I heard a gasp behind me and I spun around to see Rabbit lying face down in the snow, her shoulders shaking. Thinking she had somehow hurt herself, I quickly kneeled down and gently turned her over. “What? Are you hurt?” I asked anxiously, my eyes scanning her for fresh injuries.
She shook her head but her shoulders continued to shake. I realized she was laughing.
“What is so fucking funny you had to lie down in the snow?” I asked, annoyed at her for scaring me.
Still grasping my hand, she pointed wordlessly at her feet. Unable to help myself, I joined in her laughter. She had obviously stumbled into the deeper snow where the boots had gotten stuck. Her feet came out and she was currently lying bootless, her socked feet wriggling in the cold. I stared down at her pink cheeks, her eyes lit up with mirth as she lay like a mummy in a coat I could have wrapped around her twice, unable to get up.
Her laughter died and silently we regarded each other. I could feel my body responding to her again and the overwhelming desire to kiss her, really, truly kiss her, tore through me. I wanted to taste her. I could feel myself bending forward, closer, my one hand now cupping her cold cheek, watching her breath escape from her lips in tiny puffs of steam. I wanted those lips on mine; I wanted that steam in my mouth. As I bent over her, so close to where I wanted to be, Bear suddenly appeared, pushing his face between us and dousing both of us from his cold wet fur, barking excitedly at whatever game we were playing, wanting to join in. Startled, I sat back, reality hitting me in the face.
Fuck, I needed to stop this.
Cursing and pushing Bear out of the way, I leaned down. “Arms,” I instructed.
“What?”
“Put your arms around my neck, Rabbit. Now.”
Rabbit lifted her arms around my neck the best she could in the bulky coat. I picked her up easily and carried her inside and let her down on the mudroom floor, not looking at her. I went back out and grabbed the boots and came back in. She had already left the mudroom and I stood silently cursing myself. I had little doubt what would have happened if Bear had not interrupted us. All it took was one touch from her and I lost all common sense. The need to be closer to her drove all normal thought out of my head.
It was simple. I would just not touch her. At all. I could talk to her, laugh with her, but not touch her.
And tonight, I was sleeping on the couch.
I welcomed the scent of coffee brewing when I entered the kitchen. Rabbit was sitting on the couch and Bear was tucked up right against her legs as she stroked him. I turned away, grabbing a couple of mugs with more force than necessary, cringing a little as they slammed down on the counter.
Lucky fucking dog got to have her touch him.
I turned to grab the coffee and saw Rabbit staring at me. I purposefully relaxed my posture and smiled at her. “Oops. Cold hands,” I laughed, shrugging my shoulders as if in jest. Then, to buy myself some more time, I dug in the freezer and pulled out some steaks to grill later. An idea occurred to me and I opened a drawer for a pad of paper and a pen. I took a couple of calming breaths and poured both of us some coffee. I went and sat on the other end of the couch from Rabbit after handing her a mug.
“What’s the paper for?” she asked, her brow furrowed as she regarded me warily.
“I thought I could ask you some questions. Maybe we could trigger a memory or something …” my voice trailed off.
Liar, that little voice in my mind was taunting me.
You just need to stay busy and not think about touching her.
My mind was right.
She turned and faced me, drawing her legs up against her chest. “Okay. Ask away.”