“Six years,” I replied shortly.
She nodded, but didn’t ask any other questions. I closed my eyes again and allowed the heat of the water to continue to help ease the pain. Using one hand, I attempted to imitate the rhythmic hand movements my therapist in the hospital used when working on my leg after a session. My attempts were, as usual, rather pathetic, but it was all I could do. I looked down into the water wishing I could do a better job and noticed Rabbit watching me intently. I smiled sheepishly. “My therapist used to rub it while in the water, said it worked best that way.” I shrugged. “I don’t do quite as good a job as she did.” Rabbit’s face twisted slightly as if in thought, but didn’t say anything. I shut my eyes, not wanting her to think I was staring at her.
After a few minutes, I felt the movement of the water and opened my eyes, surprised to see Rabbit was beside me, looking at my hand as it kneaded the muscle in my leg. My hand stopped and her eyes flew up to meet mine. We stared at each other for a moment. Even in the dim light, I could see the various emotions in her expressive eyes. Trepidation, caution and, finally, a look of determination passed through her amazing pools of blue as she looked at me. Unsure of what she was thinking, I smiled warmly at her, once again wanting her to feel safe.
“I could … do that for you. If you want?” Her words rushed out quickly, as if she needed to say them before she changed her mind.
I stared at her dumbfounded. “What?”
“I’m sure it would be more effective with two hands, and I want to help. Please. I could try.”
I wasn’t sure how I would handle my reaction of feeling her hands on me. “I think your hands are probably too sore for that, Rabbit,” I said quietly, not wanting to seem ungrateful. “I know you’re in a lot of pain.”
She shook her head. “No, I think it would be good for them. They need to move and flex. Please, Joshua, let me try.”
I regarded her quietly for a moment. “If it hurts you, or you are uncomfortable, then you need to stop. Okay?”
She nodded. “Show me where it hurts.”
I took in a deep breath and placed her hand on the area that ached the most. Again, I was surprised at the warmth and comfort I found in her touch. Normally, I would be tense if touched by a stranger; even a handshake, but with her I was very relaxed. I could feel her gentle fingers move as she seemed to examine the area and then she started kneading the muscles. I was surprised at the strength in her small hands and immediately felt some relief. I tried to bite back the groan that threatened to escape my lips at her touch, but a small one escaped.
She stopped. “Good groan or bad groan? Is it okay?” she whispered.
“Yes, it’s okay. It’s … good. So good. Please don’t stop.”
Her hands continued to knead and massage. My eyes shut partially out of pleasure and partially out of embarrassment. My reply had been uttered in a low tone and sounded oddly… intimate. Peeking out of one eye, I could see Rabbit seemed only to be concentrating on the task at hand and either didn’t notice the odd tone of my voice or chose to ignore it.
For that I was grateful.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Joshua.”
I shook my head. We were having a stand-off in my bedroom. After the hot tub and Rabbit’s surprisingly well-done massage, my leg felt much better. I was holding a pillow and a blanket, getting ready to go sleep on the couch. Rabbit was being stubborn and insisting she would sleep there.
“You need your rest, Rabbit. I’ve slept on the couch many times.”
She shook her head. “No. This is your bed. Your leg needs a good rest. I am way smaller. I would fit on the couch better. Or, I can sleep in one of the others rooms; if I’m covered up, I’ll be fine. ”
I rolled my eyes and snorted. “The other rooms are closed off and have zero heat. You would freeze all night, so that’s not happening. Nor are you sleeping on the couch. This discussion is over. Get in bed.” I lifted the covers indicating she needed to crawl in. She looked at me, walked forward and, in a move I wasn’t expecting, pushed me so I stumbled forward onto the bed. Before I could react, she grabbed the blankets and covered me. Bear immediately jumped up and lay down right beside me as I struggled to sit upright.
Rabbit’s triumphant grin was infectious and I found myself chuckling along with her. “Think you’re pretty clever, do you?” I asked her.
She nodded. “You’re in bed now. I’ll just take this blanket …”
My hand covered hers, stilling the words she was about to speak. “I can’t let you sleep on the couch, Rabbit. I can’t. It’s just not … right.”
She smiled sweetly. “Well, I can’t let you either, Joshua. So what do you propose? We both sit up all night?”
I looked at the empty side of the bed and before I could reconsider it, I spoke up. “We share.”