chapter 25
“All right missy,” Tracey said, pulling the blankets off me. “You need to get out of this bed, and I have just the activity that will get your mind off everything,” she said, sitting down beside me on the mattress.
I had been crying and sleeping for two days straight because everything hurt so much. I couldn’t have imagined what heartbreak would feel like, and now I knew first hand. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.
“We are going to go work on the dance. You can teach the gang all the moves you came up with and then maybe we can finish it,” she said, brushing the hair out of my eyes. “And you can’t say no because I have already called everyone and they are meeting us at the gym in an hour.” Tracey had stayed with me at my place over the last two days and had done all she could to try to keep me nourished and to provide me comfort. I felt bad that all of her efforts had failed miserably, so I reluctantly nodded, agreeing to go with her.
“Oh, good! I thought I was going to have to call Jared to drag your ass out of here. So the fact that you are going to come willingly is a step in the right direction. Now, let’s get you showered and fed.” She pulled out my clothes and did practically everything for me besides bathe me. As the hot water ran over my body, I felt a little bit of the pain being washed away. I knew that I needed a mental and emotional vacation for a couple of hours so this was actually going to be good for me. When I was finished and dressed, I dug through my bag to find my dance notebook. I hadn’t packed anything, so I didn’t know where it was.
“Hey Trace!” I called down to the kitchen.
“Yeah, what’s up?” she said, making her way back up the stairs.
“Do you remember where you put my dance notebook when you packed my things?” I asked, still digging through unsuccessfully.
“I don’t remember packing it. Oh shoot, I think I saw it on the table in the RV,” she said as she recalled walking out without it. “I have the part that you sent over, so we can work on that today. Why don’t you call your mom and have her mail the notebook?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Actually, maybe I’ll just send her a text. I don’t want to have to talk to her about anything right now,” I said, going down to find my phone. Tracey had been in contact with my folks and had kept tabs of all of my phone calls. A few had come in that she refused to tell me who they were from, so I knew they must have been from Travis. I didn’t scroll through and look for anything at the moment because I was really trying to hold myself together to get through this day, and so far so good. I just needed to send my mom the quick text message and then go.
Me: Hey Mom! Can you please overnight me my dance notebook? I left it on the table. Love you.
I put my shoes on and ate the toast that Tracey had made me while I waited for a responding text. Finally one came through, and once I read it all I realized why it had taken so long for my mom to get back to me.
Mom: I debated calling but I know you, and knew you wouldn’t answer the phone. I spoke to Lucille and she said Travis told her everything. She said he was crying and this was the first time he has ever come to her for advice on how to make things right. Just so you know, he is no longer with Coraline. He is also very regretful for how he handled things, and is very much still in love with you. You should take his call sweetie. I know you won’t because you are hurting, but I think you both can work past this. I love you and yes, I will send the dance notebook.
Tears once again stung my eyes, and as Tracey asked what it said, I just passed her the phone. We stayed quiet the entire way to meet up with our friends, which was good because I was barely holding on by a thread. I just needed to get to the gym and see my friends’ faces, which would hopefully numb the pain.
The afternoon passed, and I had yet to think of Travis and my broken heart. We all worked on the dance, getting the first half down pat. I had recalled a lot of the second part, so we were able to get most of it done. After eight hours, I was physically spent along with the others. Tracey dragged me out for food with everyone, which was good. The longer I stayed busy, the better I felt. It was getting really late though, so I knew it was time to face the inevitable lonely dark night. Tracey begged to stay with me but I convinced her that once she dropped me off at my house, she was required to go see Tom and have a night off. She reluctantly agreed but promised that she would be back in the morning. I was dreading the time alone, but knew in the long run it would be good for me.
When we pulled into my driveway, I saw that there was a car parked in front of my house. It was dark out, so I couldn’t tell what it was until we got closer, then I saw the door to the black Porsche open and Travis stepped out.
“Oh, shit!” Tracey gasped and put her car in park. “I will go get rid of him, you stay here Paige. I’ll take care of this,” she directed, exiting the car. I was sitting in shock not knowing why he had come, but at the same time relieved to see him. I knew it was probably self-inflicting torture but I opened the car door and stepped outside.
“Paige,” Travis said, walking past Tracey and coming to stand in front of me. He tripped the security light as he walked toward me, so his face became illuminated. “I…Uh…” he paused. His eyes locked with mine and we stood silently staring at each other. I couldn’t look away, and found my body being drawn toward him. “Your mom told me that you needed this,” he said, finally breaking the silence and handing me my dance notebook. I reached out to take it and his hand brushed over mine. The sensation ran straight to my heart making it pound in my chest.
“Thanks!” I finally whispered taking it from his hand. “You drove seven hours to give me this?” I asked. I opened the book to look inside so that I could break the stare.
“Yes, your mom said that you needed it right away and I really wanted to see you. Even if just for a moment,” he spoke quietly and his voice trailed off as he turned back to see Tracey giving him an evil glare.
As I flipped to the back of the notebook, I noticed a little note that was tucked inside which held my mom’s writing.
Sweetie!
Listen to him. They f*ck up royally, but in this particular situation, it wasn’t his fault. Take my advice. Just talk to him.
I love you,
Mom
My mom’s note left me confused. “In this particular situation, it wasn’t his fault.” Nobody else made him lie to me and Cora, how could it be anyone else’s fault? My mind silently shouted out in frustration. I didn’t know what to think or say, so I found myself just standing there staring at my notebook not saying a word.
“Paige, I was hoping we could talk,” he asked sweetly and I could hear the nerves in his voice.
“Travis, you should go. I don’t think there is anything left to say and you’ve hurt her enough,” Tracey protested, coming to stand in between us. In that moment, I was overcome by a greater emotion, one that no one, not even my rational self, could say no to, and so I stepped around Tracey.
“Okay. Why don’t you come inside Travis? Tracey was just dropping me off. She has a date with Tom.” Tracey looked at me and I could see the true worry in her eyes. She was only trying to be protective of my heart and was concerned for me. Although I appreciated her loyalty, I wanted her to leave.
“Tracey. I’ll be fine. You can take off and I will call you if I need you.”
“Paige, I just don’t want you…” She stopped and looked between the two of us, and then shrugged in defeat. “Okay. Call me if you need me and I will be back in the morning. But call me if you need me before then.” She turned to look at Travis and stuck her finger in his face. “If you hurt her, I will get Tom and Jared to kick your ass.” Tracey turned and went to her car. She waved at me as she pulled out of the driveway and I was left standing alone with Travis.
“Come on in. Sorry, we just got back from dance practice so I stink,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I walked inside and flipped on the lights to the front hall and then turned to see Travis.
“Paige, I am so sorry. I’ve been trying to call you but you haven’t taken my calls. When your mom asked me if I wanted to deliver the book, I agreed thinking it might be my only chance to talk to you. So, I’m sorry to just appear on your front step.” It looked like he had been crying and I could see how tired his eyes were. They looked to be full of pain and it broke my heart to see him that way.
“It’s fine. Thank you so much for bringing the book. I told my mom to overnight it, I had no idea I was going to get same day delivery,” I said, making another attempt to break the ice.
Travis turned and grabbed me, pulling me into his arms. I was taken by surprise and had no time to think. Without registering anything, my arms (or maybe my heart) acted on their (or maybe its) own accord and squeezed him back.
“I’ve missed you. I can’t live without you. I can’t do this. It hurts too much. Paige, please just listen to me.” I nodded against him. Nothing in me wanted to let him go. I needed him as much as he needed me.
“I’m listening,” I whispered. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes.
“Paige, I shouldn’t have lied. I should have been honest with Cora, and I should have been honest with you. I can’t change the past, but I can promise never to lie to you again. Please give me another chance.”
As much as I wanted to wipe the slate clean and move forward with Travis, I still felt guilty that I was partly to blame for another girl’s broken heart. Cora had dated him for two years, and I had only known him for a few weeks. As crushed and broken as I felt over the past two days, I couldn’t imagine what she was going through and she was already an injured soul. The guilt that I was feeling was enough to hold me back, and I just couldn’t let it go.
“I’m sorry Travis. I love you so much, but I can’t be with you knowing that we added to Cora’s pain.” I shook my head as tears streamed down my face.
“Paige, we didn’t. It was all a lie,” Travis said, reaching for me again. “She lied, Paige. She was never raped.”
I was shocked by what I was hearing and didn’t know if Travis was telling the truth or if this too was a lie. “What do you mean she lied, and that she was never raped?” I asked taking a few steps back. I needed to gain some space so I could process what he was saying.
“It came out after I spoke to Ashley. Apparently, Cora wanted to tell me that she had cheated on me, but when she thought I was getting ready to break up with her over Christmas she made up the lie. In her mind, it was partly the truth because she was still admitting that she had been with someone else. She blamed me for her indiscretion because I bailed on her for the homecoming dance.”
“Wait what?” I shrieked, horrified by what I was hearing.
“Let me back up,” he said, seeing the confusion on my face. “Ashley came to me because she wanted to know the truth about why I had lied to everyone, including her. When I explained why I had done it, she was shocked to learn that her cousin had been raped because that was the first she had heard of it. She then made a comment telling me that she now understood why I stayed with Cora after she had cheated on me. I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about because Cora had never shared that little piece of information with me.” I could hear the disgust in his voice and it was obvious that he was fed up with her.
“So Ashley and I decided to confront Cora in order to get to the truth. Once she was put on the spot, she came clean about everything. She was worried that Ashley was going to go back to her parents about the rape, so she had to finally tell the truth. Of course, she deflected the blame on everyone except for herself, but at least I finally learned the truth.”
I didn’t know what to do with this new information. Travis had been lied to, and in return he had made up lies. The reality was if Cora had never lied to him, he would have broken up with her and our relationship would have started in truth. I knew he had only lied because he truly did not want to beat Cora while she was already down, but at the same time he could not deny or resist what was between us. There was no denying what was between us. Even in my anger, I had not been able to forget the connection that the two of us had.
“Paige, I know that Cora lying to me was wrong, but I still take full responsibility for my own deception. No matter what, I should have just been honest with you. I should have had enough faith in you, in us, and in fate, and just been honest. I’m so sorry Paige.”
In that split second I decided that Cora A.K.A “the bitch” had caused enough damage in her wake and I was not going to let her get the best of Travis anymore. He was such an amazing guy who was always trying to do right by her, and all she did was stomp on his heart.
Well, I am giving it back to him I thought and leaned up to plant a kiss on his lips. He grabbed me and held me close in desperation. It felt as if his lips were in disbelief and trying to savor every second of our kiss. His tongue slid warmly against mine, and his lips pressed softly moving slowly over every part of my mouth.
“God, I love you Paige!” he whispered through the kiss. I pulled back and looked up at him.
“I love you too Travis, and I know you have such a good heart and meant well. Just promise me that you will never EVER lie to me again,” I declared.
“Never again,” he vowed and began kissing me more intensely.
“I need you to do one more thing for me,” I said, pulling back from him again.
“Anything,” he quickly answered and I could see his eyes desperately searching my face for the lifeline that he needed.
“Come and shower with me.”
Without looking back, I turned to walk up the stairs. After a few seconds, probably of shock, Travis followed behind, taking my hips with his hands and planting kisses on my neck all the way up to my bathroom. Once I flipped on the light switch, I began undressing. I was too eager to wait for Travis to do it himself, so I stripped my shirt off over my head and threw it on the ground. Travis was following me with his eyes as I peeled my leggings off and let them drop to the floor with my socks. Before I went any further, I came to the front of him and unzipped his pants. Once I had the button undone, they too fell on the floor joining my clothes in a pile. He pulled his shirt over his head, and was standing in nothing but his boxers. I turned to put the water on in the shower, and when I turned back around, Travis was naked.
His penis was standing erect and I couldn’t help but admire the length of him. I had never really checked him out in the light, and I found myself unable to look away. My body burned for him. I wanted him inside of me, but that was going to have to wait until both of us were clean. I wanted to wash away the sweat and grime from my day, and I wanted to wash away all of the pain and lies that had been between us.
I reached my hands around to my back to unclasp my bra, and slid my arms out letting it fall to the floor. Then I slowly scooted out of my panties and tossed them up to Travis with my foot. He caught them in his hand, and bit his lower lip as he stared down at my bareness. It had been a few days, but my martini glass was still intact. I gave him a little wink and then turned to step into the shower. Travis was right behind me and I felt him kissing my shoulder and neck as his arm came around my waist.
“I love you Paige,” he said. I turned towards him and once again our mouths clung to each other in desperation. Every emotion was being poured into the kiss, and it was the best kiss that I had ever received.
“I seem to recall you promising me quite the wash down,” I teased, waggling my eyebrows. “Well, I am ready to be cleaned,” I invited, lifting my arms into the air, letting him know that I was there for the washing.
“Damn, how did I get so lucky? I have the sexiest girlfriend in the world, begging me to wash her. Seriously, am I going to wake up from a dream?” he asked, staring at me in awe.
“No, because I’m not even going to let you sleep tonight,” I said, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him forward to meet my lips. Travis reached over me to grab the body wash, and put some in his hands. As soon as he was lathered up, he began his soft, slow, sensual rub down starting with my neck and arms, his hands slid over my body with ease, and his touch felt so good. The look in his eyes was filled with love and lust and it made my body burn deeper. As his hands slipped over my breasts and he began a slow rubbing motion over my nipples, I threw my head back and moaned. It felt so good, that I found myself pressing my nipples further into his palms.
“Your breasts are so perfect,” he whispered and I could hear his desire in his tone. His hands continued down my stomach, and I brought my eyes back up to look at him. They stopped right at my lower stomach and I saw him admiring my bikini wax.
“I really like this,” he said as his fingers ran over the tiny patch of hair that remained at the top between my legs. I thrust my hips forward at his touch, causing his fingers to slide between my folds.
“F*ck, you feel so good,” he growled as his head came to rest on my forehead. His fingers continued their back and forth exploration and rubbing. They moved over my slick skin, which made the friction build faster within me. Then two of his fingers slipped inside of me and I cried out with pleasure.
“Yes, don’t stop,” I begged, hoping that he would continue thrusting them inside of me. I needed to be filled by him, but wanted to wait until we were in my bed to experience him fully.
“You are so wet and tight, Paige,” he groaned.
His lips came down to suck on my nipple, while his fingers sent me spiraling over the edge. I screamed out his name as my body exploded and nearly collapsed on top of him. He caught me and held me up as I recovered.
“God, you are so sexy,” he whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck and nibbled on my lobe. My eyes finally opened and I turned to look at him. He was so gorgeous, and his eyes were filled with so much love and lust, which made my heart and my core burn for him.
“Now, I get to wash you,” I said, giving him a wicked grin. He watched me carefully as I lathered my hands and then brought them down to begin stroking the length of him. Sounds were coming from the back of his throat as my hands moved up, down, and around. They slid right over him from the slickness of the soap and water, and I could tell that he liked the effect.
“Damn, Paige. I’m coming,” he cried out, gripping my hips tightly. His whole body shuddered as he exploded in my hands. I could feel the pulsing of his shaft, and I didn’t want to let go. My body was ready for him again, but this time, I needed him inside of me.
We quickly finished rinsing off, and then climbed out of the shower. After toweling each other off, we made our way over to my bed. Travis sat down on the edge, and pulled me forward. He kissed me sensually and then pulled back to look into my eyes.
“Thank you for giving me another chance,” he spoke quietly and I could see nothing but the love from his heart radiating in his eyes.
“I’m sorry that she deceived you Travis, and I’m sorry that things started out for us on a lie, but honestly… I’m not sorry for anything that happened between us. I want you to know that I don’t have any regrets. I love you Travis, and I’m all yours.”
It was as if my words were the soothing balm that he was waiting for. He grabbed me and shifted me onto the bed so that I was lying on my back. His lips claimed mine, making the fire roar inside of me once again. Our bodies began sliding together, as our tongues mimicked our motions.
“Travis, I need you. Don’t make me beg this time, I need to feel you,” I moaned, rolling my hips upward so that I could feel his skin between my legs. Without hesitation, he spread my thighs apart and lowered himself between them.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked and his question momentarily brought me out of my sexual fog.
“Yes, I am. I need to feel y…”
Just as I was uttering the words he slid inside of me and I felt the pure ecstasy of his hard penis filling me entirely. “Paige, you feel so good,” he groaned as he thrust forward. Both of us quickly found a rhythm and matched each other stroke for stroke. I pushed my hips forward wanting him deeper inside of me as my body climbed to its climax.
“Damn, I’m going to lose it. Are you almost there, baby?” As he asked the question, I fell off the cliff and shouted out the pure pleasure that exploded deep within my body. Travis followed my lead and I felt the heat of his liquid spill inside of me as he cried out my name. In that moment, I was relieved that my parents were not in the house, because we had definitely not controlled ourselves. Catching our breaths, we lay in the silence just holding each other.
Travis began placing light kisses along my collarbone and neck, and I already began to feel the need for him again. “I love you Paige,” he whispered over my heart before pressing a kiss directly on it. The act made me realize that he was mine and I wanted to take him for myself. “Are you tired baby, do you want to go to sleep?” he asked, pulling up to look into my eyes.
“I’m not ready for sleep?” I said. “But right now, I want to go for a ride.” Travis was instantly aroused by my request, so I hopped up and straddled his hips taking him on a very wild ride.
We were lying in the bed momentarily sated, and Travis was brushing his hand up and down my arm, as he was propped on his side facing me. “Can I ask you something and you promise you won’t get mad?” I asked, hoping that the question I was about to pose wouldn’t ruin the mood.
“Sure, anything. There are no more lies, I want you to ask me anything,” he said and I could hear the pain in his voice from my uncertainty.
“Is that why you turned me down, when I practically threw myself at you, because of Cora?” I was embarrassed remembering the rejection I had felt and my reaction when it had happened. Travis lifted my chin and looked straight into my eyes.
“It was because I wanted to have you when it was honest. It took everything in me Paige to stop myself from taking you up into the make-out room and to stop myself from making love to you right then and there. It actually took everything in me to walk away from you that day at my house when you offered for me to shower with you. Let’s just say I was very thankful for the ice cold shower I took, although it almost didn’t do the trick.” He laughed at his remark causing me to giggle. “But, I wanted it to be right between us. I wanted to wait until I had broken up with Cora, and at least do that part right,” he said.
His answer filled a few of the holes that were still left in my heart, recalling those moments. At least I knew that it wasn’t because he was rejecting me in any way, and that it wasn’t for Cora’s benefit but for mine. That part I could live with. “So, is that why you kept our relationship a secret? So that Cora wouldn’t find out?”
“Paige, I almost broke up with her over the phone, just because I couldn’t take lying to you anymore. But when I picked up the phone to call her, I just felt that it was the wrong thing to do; this was back when I still believed her lie. But as things between you and I continued to build, it became more and more difficult to restrain myself from that. And then, I found out she was coming into town. I was actually getting ready to tell you the truth about everything right before my dad came in that morning. I couldn’t stand the lies any more, and there you were trying to convince me that you would never cheat on me with Jared or anyone else, and here I was accusing you of doing what I was guilty of. It made me feel like a bastard, regardless of my reasons for doing it I couldn’t keep up the lie anymore. But before I had the chance, my dad beat me to the punch,” he said and I could see the pain return in his eyes as he remembered the moment.
“I thought you were getting ready to break up with me. I knew something terrible was about to happen,” I admitted, trying to be open and honest with him.
“No, I was about to grovel and beg for your forgiveness.”
“Hmm, so what does your groveling look like?” I playfully asked, trying to change the mood.
“Well, it looks a little bit like this,” he said as he kissed my shoulder all the way up to the side of my mouth. “And a little bit like this,” he said as he kissed across to my ear, where he nibbled softly on my lobe sending tingles back between my legs. “And…” His voice trailed off, as he ran kisses down my neck, over my left breast, between my cleavage, across my stomach, and all the way down to my *. He stopped, and then looked up into my eyes and said, “And it looks a whole lot like this.”
His mouth instantly claimed my * and he sucked it in between his lips. The sensation made my hips buck off the bed causing him to grab me and hold me down. It didn’t take much sucking and licking before I exploded. As my breathing settled, I finally mustered up my response. “If you keep that up, you are definitely forgiven. Or maybe I shouldn’t forgive you, so that you will keep groveling.”
He chuckled against my skin and then came to lay next to me on the pillow. “You may actually want to invest in a chastity belt, because I have now tasted perfection and will never get enough.” I could barely manage a giggle as he wrapped his arms around me. My body was so exhausted from all of the emotional drainage over the last few days, the full day of dancing, and then from all of the incredible sex, that I couldn’t hold my eyes open any more. “I love you Paige,” were the last words I heard as I drifted off to sleep feeling completely in love and happy.