chapter 18
Travis started a fire for us, and I waited patiently on the blanket for him to sit with me. “So babe, did you have a good day?” he asked, popping a squat behind me and pulling me back against his chest.
“Yes, it was a very good day!” I said, twisting so that I could see his face.
“I got nervous when I saw you and Britney sitting there together, did that go okay?” he asked leaning down to nuzzle my nose with his.
“Yes, she apologized for everything and filled me in on her past with Corey. The guy is a real jerk,” I stated.
“Yeah, I don’t know what happened but after her ‘incident’ he just lost interest and cast her aside. It was hard to watch. I tried to talk to him about it last summer, but he wouldn’t get over his shit.”
“What did he have to get over?” I shrieked. “She’s the one that went through the painful experience.
“I know. I don’t know what his issue was, but I think for some reason he had a problem that Britney had been with someone else. He tried to play it off saying that he wanted to give her space to heal and didn’t want her to feel pressured having a guy around, but I didn’t buy it,” Travis said, shaking his head staring at the fire.
“It’s not like she wanted to be with someone else. The girl was raped. How could he just cast her aside like that?” I was getting angrier by the second at the realization that Britney had been thrown away like dirty trash. I was starting to rethink my decision on pressing charges; based on this new revelation the guy deserved to be put away for a bit.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with Corey. Clearly there is a lot going on there,” Travis said.
“Britney said that Coraline tried to talk to him, but that it just made things worse. Then she said that you and Ashley tried to convince her to dump him.” Travis looked upset by my statement and I could tell that it was bringing back unwelcome memories.
“Yeah, I thought that he deserved the boot. It’s one thing to give Britney space to heal, but it’s another to openly become infatuated with another girl and make blatant comparisons.” Travis gritted his teeth angered by the thought.
“What did Cora do? Who is this Cora girl anyway?” I asked.
Travis twisted in his seat and became uneasy by my question. It was an awkward reaction, which made me wonder why. “Cora just played it off, but definitely liked the attention,” he said, shaking his head in disgust.
“So, is she a regular here during the summers?” I asked.
“Yeah, her family has been coming up here for the last five years,” he said.
“So, you and the girls are going to have a day out tomorrow?” he asked changing the subject. There was no way I was going to let him get off that easily. There was something to this Cora girl that he wasn’t sharing and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
“Hey Mister Avoidance. What’s up? Why does the subject of this Cora girl make your cheeks red?” I asked, rubbing the side of his face that was now bright pink.
“Shit, I knew this was going to come out sooner or later,” he said, looking at me and pausing. I shifted in front of him sitting up to brace myself for what was coming next. I didn’t get a good feeling, and wanted to make sure I could see his eyes fully as he spoke. “She’s…” he paused not saying anything while he searched my eyes, and then continued, “my ex-girlfriend,” he said. I collapsed against his chest so he wouldn’t see my pained expression.
I looked away as the twinge of jealousy hit my stomach. I wasn’t surprised to learn that one of his ex-girlfriends had been someone he met here, but for some reason I was still finding myself to be insanely jealous at the fact. “So, is she the girl that you dated for two years?” I asked, trying to get the facts so I could quickly get over my issue. Besides, I wanted to understand what caused them to break up because I truly didn’t want to repeat the behavior that had led to their demise.
“Yes,” Travis stated, looking at the fire. I could tell that he was uncomfortable talking about her, but I really wanted the scoop.
“So, why’d you break up?” I asked playfully so he would be more comfortable talking to me about it.
“She and I just didn’t fit. There is a list of reasons but the biggies are: she was way too self-absorbed, which doesn’t make her a very caring girlfriend or friend. Everything was always about her, and if it wasn’t, then she would pick fights. She was also an extreme flirt and I’m sure brought on a lot of the Corey stuff herself. She definitely didn’t mind all of the attention he gave her, and always did things for more.”
I didn’t know the girl, but knew that I wouldn’t like her. All I could say was, “Well, her loss is my gain.” I leaned in to give him a kiss wanting to remind him of my desire for him and show him that he was the only one I was interested in flirting with.
“I am yours, Paige,” he said, speaking into my mouth.
When we finally came up for air, Travis had a puzzled look on his face. “What’s up? I asked.
“So what about you? Who have you dated in the past?”
“No one worth mentioning. Even the guy that was my first isn’t worth discussing. Then for the last year and a half, I’ve been single.”
“No way! Paige, you are too damn gorgeous not to have every guy in the state of New York knocking at your door begging for a date. So there is something you’re not telling me,” he said, holding me back and searching my eyes for the truth. I wanted to be open with him, so I shared.
“I had a crush on this guy named Jared, and couldn’t get past it. So I turned down everyone else while I waited for him,” I admitted, looking up at him for his expression. I could see it in his eyes, and knew what was coming next.
“So, do you still have a thing for this Jared guy?”
“Travis, I love you. I have never told anyone that before, and I can assure you that I have never felt this way for anyone, not even Jared. So, No! I absolutely do not still have a crush on him. In fact, since the night I met you, all thoughts of Jared have ceased to exist,” I said, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
“But do you think that if he had asked you out then those feelings would have been there with him?” His jealousy was cute and I could tell that he cared.
“No. I doubt that I could have these feelings for anyone else. Besides, Jared had his chance and didn’t take it, which allowed you to come in and claim my heart. Now, I am totally and utterly smitten and have no interest in what the other boys think,” I said, trying to reassure him.
I climbed up onto his lap straddling him, so that we could be face to face. “Travis I love you! I’m yours and only yours,” I said, kissing his lips gently between each word.
“All I can say is this Jared guy is an idiot and thank goodness for that, because his ignorance is my gain,” he stated and then grabbed my cheeks and pulled me in for an extremely passionate kiss that made my center respond. His body reacted the same and I felt him between my legs. I was ready to be his in every way, but just had one last question for him before we took things all the way.
“So now that I’ve been initiated into the group, does this mean we are going to tell people about us?”
Travis looked away from me studying the fire, and his response bothered me. I didn’t think he would need time to answer. I figured it would be an immediate “Yes!” I waited patiently though for his answer before I reacted. “Given all the Corey and Britney stuff that just went down, I think we should wait a couple of days. I don’t want to rub our new relationship in Britney’s face, nor do I want any of the girls snubbing you again. So, let’s just ride the wave,” he suggested.
Although I could understand his reasoning, kind of, I felt like the timing of when we told everybody didn’t really matter. “Don’t you think that if we wait, they will be mad that we didn’t feel comfortable being open with them? After all, both Ashley and Britney were open with me last night and today, so I want to make sure I am with them. Besides, I think they will understand why we kept things on the down low. They both openly admitted that they had tried to push me away at first. After all, you said they like me!” I said, kissing his cheek and giving him my puppy dog face.
I really hated that we couldn’t be open with our relationship especially since these feelings were so intense. I was excited to be in love and wanted to share it with everyone.
“I think we should give it a few days,” he said, kissing my cheek, and trailing kisses down to my neck.
“Travis. What difference does a few days make?” I asked, pulling back from him.
“Paige, it just gives us some time while all of the dust settles. Besides, didn’t you like sneaking around with me today?” he said, trailing kisses over my collarbone while his hands lightly ran down the sides of my body to cup my bottom.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I like being your little secret girlfriend that you keep tucked away. I want you to be proud to show me off to everyone,” I stated, standing firm on my opinion and my mission.
“I am. Things will settle down around here and then we can ruffle the feathers or the sheets; whatever you prefer,” he said, flipping me onto my back.
I was irritated by his brush off, and the fact that he was trying to seduce me into agreeing with him. “No,” I said, shuffling out from underneath his hold and sitting up.
“Paige,” he said, taking my hand. “I love you. This has nothing to do with that. Will you please just give me a few more days?”
“Fine. You can have a few more days, but in the meantime you are not allowed to touch me. As long as everyone thinks that we are just friends, we are going to behave like friends,” I said, shifting myself farther away from him so that I could maintain enough distance to resist temptation.
It’s not what I wanted, but I didn’t want to be kept a secret, and boys are led around by their penises so I figured it wouldn’t be long before Travis caved.
“Really?” he asked, doubting my declaration.
“Yes. Really!” I stated, crossing my arms. “As long as you want to hide what we have like an embarrassing secret, then that is how long you will have to wait to put your hands on me.”
“I’m not embarrassed by you,” he stated, shifting right in front of me.
“I feel strongly about this, Travis. We can behave like friends as long as that is what everyone believes we are.” I stood up ready for him to take me back to my RV because I knew that if I stayed I would be caving myself, and he would get his cake and eat it too.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Can you walk me back? I want to go back,” I said.
“Paige,” he said, standing and taking my hand. Then he paused and thought twice before speaking. “Well, friends hold hands, so can I at least hold your hand as I walk you back?” I was hoping for a different response. One that sounded more like, let’s run back so that I can tell everyone and shout it to the world that you’re mine because there is no way I will go a day without your kisses, but instead he was settling for non-contact. My heart sank even though it was my brilliant idea.