chapter 17
I changed into my black leggings and a yellow tank top, then sat down at the kitchen table with my dance notebook to get some work done. After we had returned to the grounds from dinner, Travis was called into work to help with some firewood deliveries. Everyone else headed to the game room to play pool, but I decided to come back to the RV so that Travis and I could have some alone time together. He told me he was going to come get me when he was done, so I figured I would get some of the dance finished while I waited. The moves were coming to me quickly and I was finding it easier to concentrate now that everything else seemed to be falling into place.
Before long, there was a tap on the door. I went to open it thinking that it was Travis, but was surprised to see Britney standing there instead. I immediately worried that something was wrong, and then reality set in that she was probably there to ream me out about what happened to Corey. From what Ashley had told me earlier, Britney somehow felt that I was the enemy in all of this. Hoping for her to go easy on me, I sweetly greeted her. “Hey Britney! Is everything okay?”
“Can we talk Paige?” she asked. Her voice was not threatening but almost somber.
“Sure. Do you want to come in, or would you rather sit outside in the chairs?” I asked.
“Out here is good. It’s a nice night out,” she said.
We took a seat in the chairs that surrounded the empty fire pit and in unison, we both rested our heads against the chair backs and looked up at the clear night sky. The stars were shining bright and the moon was round and magnificent. It was a quiet night except for a few crickets in the distance, but other than that not much could be heard. My parents were playing cards with the Medlers, so Britney and I had our privacy.
I lifted my head back up to look at Britney. She seemed calm, but I was still bracing myself for the conversation. “So, how are you?” I asked.
“Not so great,” she admitted quietly. “I found out that my boyfriend harassed my best friend last night mistaking her for you; apparently threatening rape, or attempting rape in his state of inebriation. Then this morning I get into a big fight with my best friend over it, of course, blaming everyone else for the problem except the one at fault, and now I am sitting here wondering how in the heck things could crumble so fast.” Her voice cracked and although she was trying to come across sounding sarcastic I could hear how fragile she was at the moment. With all that was going on, I was sure that she was holding on by a thread.
“I’m so sorry Britney.” I didn’t know exactly what to say, and found myself at a loss for words.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’m actually the one that’s sorry for what you two had to experience last night. I knew Corey had a thing for you, he definitely made me aware of it,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. “But, I had no idea he would take things as far as he did.” Britney’s admission was shocking, but it clued me into why she had treated me the way she had from the beginning. Clearly, the guy was an a*shole across the board, and I hoped more than anything that Britney was finished with the jerk.
“Did you go and see him today?” I asked, curious as to the status of their relationship, but trying not to be too direct.
“Yep. Corey admitted everything. He said he had had way too much to drink, as usual, and then came over to the grounds to hang out. In his drunken state apparently, he found himself looking for physical attention and thought that you might want to give him some.”
I was horrified by Britney’s remark and wanted her to know that I would not have done anything with the guy no matter what the circumstances, so I interrupted. “Britney, I just want you to know that there were no mutual feelings there. I would not have done ANYTHING with him,” I said adamantly, trying to get my point across.
“I know Paige. Corey thinks that he can get away with murder because of his good looks, and that no girl can resist his charms, but I am well aware of his delusions and what the truth really is. Anyway, he said that he thought he would surprise you with a kiss, but ended up with Ashley in his arms. He decided in the moment that he was lonely enough that she would suffice, and found himself being rejected. He was offended by the fact that she wasn’t interested in him, again, him and his delusions got him into trouble,” she said, shaking her head at the thought.
I was surprised that she was holding herself together so well in spite of the fact that she was discussing Corey’s admissions of wanting to be with someone else. The way she was speaking was so matter of fact it was as if she was numb to it. “Corey said he started pressing further to see if Ashley would give into him, but that’s when you showed up. Once he had been denied by both of you, he said his bruised ego got carried away, and he began saying and doing things that he is not proud of. Although he swears on his life that he would never have followed through with anything.”
It amazed me how open and honest Corey had been with Britney. I couldn’t imagine how crushing it must have been to listen to the guy that you are in love with tell you that he acted with the intentions of hooking up with another girl. The fact that he swore he wouldn’t have actually raped either of us didn’t make him look any better in my mind. I just hoped that Corey wasn’t trying to use the honesty tactic to somehow convince Britney to stay with him.
“So, where do you and Corey stand now?” I asked.
“We are done,” Britney swore, staring blankly at the empty fire pit. I wasn’t a hundred percent convinced on the matter and something in me wanted to make sure that Britney had no intentions of ever getting back together with Corey EVER, so I decided to ask.
“You are done for good? Right, Britney? As in you won’t fall back into his arms if he begs for redemption.”
“Yes, I am DEFINITELY done. What he did hits too close to home for me, so I can never look at him the same,” she said. I didn’t know what she was hinting at, whether something had happened to her, or a family member or a friend of hers, but clearly she felt strongly on the matter, which I was relieved by.
“I’m sorry that things turned out the way they did for you Britney. I hope you know that you can turn to me or any of your friends here if you need to.”
“Thanks. I know that most of my friends here probably don’t want to listen to me cry over Corey though. They wanted me to end things last summer after the way he treated me, but I held on thinking that things would return to the way they once were. I know I shouldn’t really mourn the loss of this relationship, but at the beginning it was wonderful.”
Britney turned towards me as she continued, bringing both of her knees up to her chest in the chair and resting her chin on them. “When we first started dating it was incredible. Corey was so sweet and loving. He and I would go on these long hikes and just talk for hours about everything. His mom had just left them to be with someone else, so things weren’t that great on the home front. Corey didn’t really have any empathy from his dad or brother who seemed to have cared less, so Corey walked around hiding his true emotions. But with me, he wasn’t afraid to share what he was going through. He would cry in my arms, and show me his vulnerable side, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. Our love grew pretty quickly because of that, and Corey was the one who said it first.”
It was obvious from the way Britney was talking about Corey that she truly had loved him. “We spent that summer doing all kinds of amazing things, hiking and exploring the area, and making out all over the place, of course,” Britney said, giggling nervously at her comment. “Even when I returned home to start school in the fall things were great between us. He came to visit me for the vacations and came to all of my dances. It was magical. Things stayed that way all the way up until the spring. That’s when I…” Britney paused and turned her head to stare at the empty fire pit. She looked lost in a trance for a moment, but I just waited in silence for her to find the courage to continue. “It was in the spring when things changed, right after I told him that I had been raped.”
My heart sank at her revelation, and I was completely at a loss for words. “Britney… I’m so sorry,” I stuttered.
“So am I. I made the wrong decision on our spring school trip and went off by myself to find a bathroom, alone. I ended up in a really bad situation,” she said, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as if she was trying to block out the memory. “I don’t like talking about the details of it all, but if I can offer you any advice Paige, especially since you’ll be going to college in the fall, is to never go anywhere by yourself. Always make sure you have a friend with you. I stupidly wandered off, and a boy from one of the other schools cornered me.” I now completely understood her hitting close to home comment and why she would so easily break ties with Corey.
“Anyway, everything got dealt with. The boy went to jail because he was eighteen, so he was tried as an adult and I was put in counseling. It was traumatizing, but I was lucky to have a lot of support from friends and family. The only one who wasn’t very supportive though was Corey. I don’t even know what happened or why he reacted the way he did, but once I told him, he became closed off. He stopped calling as much. He cancelled his plans to come in for my junior prom, and things were just different,” she said, shaking her head in confusion. “It was only a couple of months before we were coming back here for the summer, so I waited it out to see what would happen. I was in the middle of the trial anyway, so the time rushed by. I thought that when Corey saw me again, he would realize that I was still me and nothing had changed, at least not on the outside. I spared him the emotional trauma that I was dealing with on the inside so that he would forget it even happened.”
I felt sorry for Britney as I listened. Here she had helped Corey through a traumatic time in his life when his mother had left them without warning, but when Britney was going through something tragic she couldn’t turn to him for the same support. Her words made me want to reach out and hug her, but I sat quietly giving her the attention she deserved.
“Some guys don’t know how to react in certain situations, even my counselor said that boys can have a harder time when someone they care about gets hurt. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and waited for the summer to arrive. But, when I got back here things were the same. Actually, Corey seemed to grow even more distant and started to drink…a lot,” she emphasized the words. “I wanted to believe that most of his problems were caused by the alcohol. He wouldn’t listen to me though when I tried to talk to him about it, so I asked the girls for help. Coraline then went to talk to him privately one day, but that didn’t seem to help. In fact, it just made things worse. After their little talk, Corey seemed to have developed a little crush on her. He kept making comments about how pretty she was, and how I should take some fashion advice from her. I was pretty certain that if she were single, he would have dumped me and made his move.” I assumed as she spoke that Coraline was the same person as Cora who was mentioned earlier. “Of course after witnessing it all, Travis and Ashley encouraged me to end things, especially Travis. But for some reason, I couldn’t walk away.”
I found it endearing that Travis was looking out for Britney and didn’t want to see his friend treated in such a way. It warmed my heart to know that he wasn’t an a*shole like Corey, and he knew right from wrong. I brushed that aside to focus on Britney as she continued. “I had been through so much already and really believed Corey would wake up and snap out of it, so I regretfully didn’t take their advice. When I learned that Cora wasn’t coming back this year, I was relieved and hoped that she would be out of Corey’s system. But, when I saw the way he was looking at you that day on the river, I knew that things were going to be the same. It’s why I joined forces with Ashley to keep you away. I hoped that I could keep you far away from Corey, so that I could try to recover what we once had. In all of my efforts though, all I managed to do was treat an innocent girl rudely because Corey still managed to have you on the brain. I realize what it boils down to is that he doesn’t love me. Not any more at least, and the reality is… I deserve better.”
Britney’s comments made me aware that she would heal in time. She was already facing the hard facts, and choosing not to blame herself, which is a huge step in the healing process. “I was stewing all day on everything that he said and was realizing that in our relationship Corey has spent more time being a jerk to me than being a loving boyfriend. The anger has been building in me for a while I guess and his actions last night just helped wake me up. I’m sorry that you were caught in the middle of it Paige, and I am truly sorry for the way I treated you. You definitely did not deserve the cold treatment you received. So, I hope you will forgive me.”
“You are forgiven, consider us friends, Britney,” I said, wanting to give her a life-line. She felt that the others wouldn’t have any patience for her but I knew that sooner or later she was going to go through a rough patch and need a shoulder to cry on, and I would be more than willing to be there for her.
“Thanks Paige!” she said and then returned her stare to the fire pit, focusing once again on the unlit logs.
“Hey, are you two alright?” Travis asked, startling us from behind. I had been so deep in concentration listening to Britney, that I hadn’t heard his arrival.
“Do you want me to get the fire started?” he asked.
“We are fine Trav. Just talking. I owed Paige an apology so I stopped by. She is a very forgiving person,” Britney said, giving me a smile.
“I’m gathering that,” Travis agreed, touching my shoulder as he walked around my chair.
“Are you doing okay Brit? How are you holding up?” he asked, taking the seat next to her.
“I’m okay. Things could be better, but I’m dealing with it,” she said simply.
“I know you loved him Brit. I’m sorry that things worked out the way they did, but I have no doubts that some super stud from NYU is going to come in and sweep you off your feet. You deserve the fairy tale Brit, so it will happen.”
Travis’s remark was so kind, and he came across as being truly sincere and not just trying to pacify the situation. It was another sign showing me what a good guy he was, and it made me wish I could bounce over and hop onto his lap.
“Thanks Trav. I think I’m going to focus on my studies first, but when the time is right I know my prince will be waiting.” She giggled at her comment and a little bit of relief lit her face. I could tell that her heart was already on its way to recovery and it was reassuring to know. Britney had been through a lot over the last year, and she deserved a brighter future. She truly seemed like a great girl with a very sweet heart. Her self-esteem had probably taken a little bit of a beating from all that she had endured, but I could tell it wouldn’t be long before her confidence returned.
Travis, Britney, and I stayed down at my place talking for a while. He wanted to make sure that Corey was out of the picture for good as well, and pressed her for the scoop. She reassured him that was the case, sparing him all of the details that she had given me. He already seemed to know her history though, and understood completely why she could never forgive Corey for the way he behaved. We continued talking for a while about the four of us: Ashley, Travis, Brit, and I being in New York City together next year and how we need to make sure we keep in touch. I could tell that the brother bear side of Travis was coming out and he wanted to be able to keep an eye on Britney in the fall. We laughed for a bit, and then Britney decided to face the inevitable.
“Well, guys, I think I need to go make amends with Ashley. I owe her a huge apology for our fight this morning, so I am going to go find her,” Britney said as she rose from her chair.
“They are up in the game room. Let’s walk up together,” Travis offered, being the gentleman that he was and wanting to make sure of her safety.
“Thanks. Hey Paige, if things go well, do you want to have breakfast with just the girls in the morning followed by a day of pampering at the salon?” she asked.
“Sure. And I know that things will go well, so definitely count me in,” I answered.
The three of us made our way up to the game room to find Scott and Ashley playing pool, while the rest of the bunch were playing foosball and ping-pong. Ashley stopped in mid-strike when she saw Britney. She put her cue up against the pool table and walked straight over to her friend to give her a hug. “You okay Brit?” she asked. Britney immediately broke into tears, so I made my exit to let her have her moment with her friends. Travis followed me out taking my hand when we got outside.
“So, I’m starting to believe that you really do sprinkle magic all around you. You really do inspire people,” Travis said in a loving tone. When we were down the hill and out of sight, he stopped in front of me and kissed me hard.
“Wow,” I said, catching my breath upon his release of my mouth. “You definitely inspire me,” he said, smiling against my lips.
“Same here,” I said, kissing him again.
“So, are you too tired or can I take you down to my place?” he asked.
“I think I was just given a second wind, so let’s go,” I answered.
“Good,” he said and then led the way through the woods down to his tent.