chapter 23
Tracey’s car was not at the site as I came around the corner at a sprinter’s pace. I saw Jared standing by the tent, so I couldn’t help but run straight into his arms, taking him completely by surprise.
“Paige, what’s wrong?” he said, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “What happened?” I couldn’t speak because my sobs were restricting my vocal chords at the moment. “Shh…Paige it’s okay…shh… please don’t cry. I’ll go up and make sure Travis knows nothing happened between us last night and that finding us this morning was just a big misunderstanding. I can fix this.” Jared’s words were so sweet. He assumed that Travis didn’t believe me and wanted to help fix the situation. If only I could have fallen in love with him, my mind cried through the sobs that wracked my body, which only opened the floodgates of my eyes further. “Paige, it’s okay,” he spoke quietly, continuing his efforts to console me while rubbing my back gently. “It will be okay.”
“Paige!” Ashley breathlessly called as she came running to our side. “What happened? You’re freaking me out, did something happen?” she said.
“Travis came running out of the office shouting your name, what’s going on? Did he hurt you?” Ashley asked as she pushed a lock of hair back behind my ear to see my face. I shook my head still unable to speak.
“Travis thinks Paige and I slept together last night, but it’s just a big misunderstanding because we didn’t,” Jared said, defending his wrong misinterpretation of the situation. I needed to say something so that things would become clear.
“No, he has a girlfriend. Jared, he has a girlfriend,” I whispered, looking up at him.
“Wait, what?” Jared asked, sounding confused. “Travis has a girlfriend?” he questioned, looking over at Ashley for confirmation.
“Yes, Cora. But why does that mat…,” Ashley started to ask as the light bulb flashed on in her mind. “Wait, you and Travis?” she asked.
Just as the pieces were starting to fit into place for everyone, Travis pulled up in the golf cart, quickly putting it in park and hopping off to come over to us. “Paige, Please let me explain,” he called out, sounding wounded and desperate to talk to me.
“You jackass!” Jared shouted, moving me to the side in a protective manner but not letting me go.
“I need to explain,” Travis begged again, ignoring Jared’s remark and reaching out for me. Jared quickly released me behind his back and pushed Travis’s chest forward with his hand.
“You’re a two timing scumbag, don’t you think you’ve hurt her enough? I doubt that any lame excuse you may have can defend your actions. Now get out of here, or I’ll kick your ass,” Jared stated with a voice of rage that even made me shudder.
Once again, Travis completely ignored him. “Paige, please. We need to talk.”
“Has all the fresh air gone to your head or are you just that dense, LEAVE!” Jared yelled once again in a threatening tone. He hunched his shoulders up and took a predatory stance, moving towards Travis.
As Travis matched Jared’s stature ready to take him on in a fight, an RV pulled up. “Travis!” a girl that I could only assume was Cora, squealed from the open window. “Hi babe!” she shouted, popping her head around her dad’s shoulder in the driver’s seat.
“Hey Trav! Come help us pull in?” the man called over to him.
“F*ck,” Travis growled under his breath, so quietly that only we could hear, then he reluctantly walked over to talk to the man through the open window.
“Hey Ash!” the man called out.
“Hey, Uncle Frank!” she returned the greeting. “I’ll be over in a little bit to catch up,” Ashley said, before turning her attention back to me. “Paige, will you come with me?” she asked, speaking kindly. I nodded and took her hand.
“I’ll pack up here,” Jared said as he gave me another hug and then released me into Ashley’s arms.
Ashley guided me down to my RV and we went inside. Luckily, my parents were out for the morning, so I didn’t have to face them at the moment. I collapsed on the couch as soon as I entered, reaching to wrap my arms around my pillow.
“Paige, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that something was going on between you and Travis, or that you had feelings for him. I guess I should have seen it, but I was clearly oblivious,” she said, sounding guilty for her lack of intuition.
“Please don’t apologize Ash, none of this has anything to do with you. Travis said that he wanted to keep things a secret from everyone, I should have known that it was a giant red flag and that there was more to it.”
“So, he actually asked you to keep things a secret from us?” Her voice sounded shocked by the fact.
“Yes. At the beginning, he told me that he was worried about what you all would say based on the way you first treated me. Then once we overcame our issues, he said that we should still keep things on the down low because he didn’t want to rub our relationship in Britney’s face, since she had just ended things with Corey. Man, I am such an idiot for believing all of his lies,” I said, flopping my head into my pillow as the sobs started again.
“Is that what he wanted to talk to me about?” Ashley asked. “For the last two days Travis has been wanting to tell me something, but then when we had the chance to talk, he avoided me,” she queried, wondering if her theory was accurate.
“No, I think it was all part of the lie. He made me believe he was actually going to come out and tell you about us. He said he wanted to talk to you first, being that you’re Cora’s cousin and all, but apparently he never actually intended to,” I said, finally seeing things for the way they truly were.
“Paige, I am so sorry,” she said and her voice was so sincere. “Do you mind me asking what happened between you two? How long have you both been together?”
“Since the third day I came here,” I answered. “We had our first official date that day, as he called it, and our first kiss. A few days ago, he actually told me he loved me.” I shook my head as the memories pained my heart.
“Wow, he told you he loved you? Gosh, I just can’t believe I didn’t pick up on anything,” she said, shaking her head. It made me realize that he probably didn’t actually love me, since his friends hadn’t noticed anything different in him. “So, did you go all the way with him?” she asked.
“NO, thank goodness. I actually wanted to last night, but he turned me away. Obviously, that was for Cora’s sake. Maybe as long as he wasn’t having actual sex with me he could rationalize his actions,” I said so hurt by this fact. I figured that if Ashley did have any loyalties to her cousin then that little fact would help alleviate any anger she might be feeling towards me, although thus far, she was only being kind and comforting.
“Paige, I don’t know what to say. I’m actually surprised that Travis wouldn’t just come out and break-up with Cora, especially if there were sparks between you two. I don’t even know why he’s still with her, after all, she did cheat on him.” As Ashley said the words, a light bulb turned on in my head.
“That’s it. He wanted to use me to get back at her. Maybe he thought that if he had an affair, then it would even the score,” I said, feeling the sadness brushed aside by anger.
“No, that is not Travis. I have known the guy for ten years, even through his rebellious ‘bad’ stage, and I know that he would never intentionally do something to hurt anyone.”
“Yeah, but maybe it was unintentional,” I said. “Maybe he was trying to move on, but found that something in him couldn’t let her go. That’s why he never told anyone about us, and that’s why he didn’t want us to take things to the next level. Actually come to think of it, this morning he was just about to talk to me and had a very serious and somber look on his face. That was right before his dad interrupted us, filling me in on Travis’s deceit,” I said, recalling the exact feeling of dread thinking that Travis was about to break up with me right before his dad walked in.
“I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was about to break up with me. So maybe that was his plan knowing that Cora was coming in. Maybe all of those feelings for her rushed back to him now that she was no longer going to be out of sight, out of mind, and so he was trying to end things with me to make things right with her.”
As I spoke, I felt the knife rip deeper through my heart. I knew that I was probably right and it hurt like hell. While Cora was away, Travis must have tried to find a way to soothe his wounded heart from her betrayal, and found me. But now that she was coming back, he probably knew that his heart chose her.
“It’s just so out of character for Travis to do something like this, I don’t get it,” Ashley said sounding baffled by it all.
“Why would he stay with her anyway? No offense, but what is so wonderful about your cousin?” I asked, wanting to understand how she could have such a hold on him. Clearly, everything Travis had told me about Cora must have been a lie so I wanted to know the truth.
“Honestly Paige, I don’t know. I know she’s my cousin and all, but Cora’s a bitch,” Ashley stated rather firmly with nothing but sincerity in her voice. “She is so self-centered, and thinks that every guy should worship the ground she walks on. I don’t really know why Travis would stay with her,” she said, shrugging her shoulders at a loss for an explanation. Her answer had matched Travis’s but maybe that was the big appeal: every guy worships her, and he’s desperate to be the one to have her.
“Last summer, she practically fell all over Corey right in front of Travis. You could tell how hurt he was watching how much she flirted with Corey. She’s partially to blame for Corey and Britney not working out, although, I still blame him entirely for not keeping his eye on his prize,” she said, shaking her head. “When Cora told me that she had cheated on Travis at her homecoming dance and was coming clean with him over winter break, I thought for certain that he would end the relationship. He’s such a great guy and deserves better. Believe me, if you had told me about the two of you, I would have been cheering in your corner for him to choose you,” she admitted, making me grin slightly. “I was actually surprised to learn they were still together. I was thinking about talking to him about it, and mentioned it to Britney yesterday while you were in getting your waxing done. I thought that maybe he wanted to talk to me about what happened with Cora. If he had brought it up, I was going to tell him to dump her because he deserves better, but then we never spoke.”
I realized that I had inconveniently missed an important part of the conversation between Ashley and Britney yesterday, and would have had a heads up if I hadn’t been so eager to primp myself for Travis. The thought brought more tears, even though I didn’t think it was possible for me to cry anymore. “Listen Paige, I know that Travis has lied to you, but he seemed to really want to talk to you about everything. If for nothing other than closure, I think you should give him a chance to explain himself. He may truly have developed feelings for you, but just not had the chance to tell Cora yet that things are over. So, talk to him,” she said, rubbing my back while I silently cried into the pillow.
We sat in silence while the tears streamed down my face, and then heard a knock on the door. I instantly sat up worried that it was Travis coming to talk to me, and I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Ashley stood to open the door, and thankfully, it was Tracey.
“Paige sweetie! I’m so sorry,” she said, making her way to my side and squeezing me tightly with her arms. “Jared told me what happened,” she said, acknowledging that she knew what had gone down while she was away. “So that’s why he kept things secret, huh?” Her voice was soft and kind, and was only there to offer me support. “Paige, I’m so sorry,” she consoled me and then just held me in silence. It was one of the things that I loved most about Tracey, she wasn’t the type to lecture me in my time of need or give me an ‘I told you so,’ She was simply there to provide comfort.
After a few minutes of silence Tracey finally spoke, “So what do you want to do? Do you want to come back home with us?” I hadn’t thought that far ahead, since I was stuck on the pain I was feeling from my broken heart. But giving it a moment to sink in, I made up my mind.
“Yes, I want to go home with you.” Ashley frowned at my announcement, but then nodded as she understood my decision. “Well, the guys are all packed up. So, maybe we should get your things together,” she said and then she and Ashley maneuvered around me packing up all of my belongings.
“Well, looks like that’s everything Paige. I’ll go take your bag to the car while you call your mom,” Tracey said and then exited with my suitcase.
“Paige, I’ll give you some privacy while you talk to her. Please don’t leave without saying goodbye,” Ashley pleaded and then followed right behind Tracey.
As soon as the girls left, the floor fell out from under me. The pain and sadness that I was feeling at the loss of what I believed was true love was too great for me to take, so I just lay down on the couch to cry. After a few minutes passed, I calmed enough to call my mom and let her know that I was heading out. I wasn’t going to let on that my plans were not to return, so that she would let me go, but I was going to tell her that I needed time away because of what happened with Travis.
“Paige sweetie! Why? I thought things were going great between you and Travis,” my mom said, not understanding the sudden change in course.
“He has a girlfriend Mom,” I said, not wanting to lie to her.
“What? Lucille never mentioned that Travis was seeing anyone. Quite the contrary, she has only made comments hoping that he would develop an interest in you, which he obviously had. I don’t understand,” she whispered, sounding as confused as I felt.
“Listen, I just need to go home for a bit and get over this, but maybe I’ll come back in a few weeks if I can stomach the return. Okay?” I was trying to reassure her, but in the back of my mind I knew that there was no way I could come back. I just knew that once I was gone, and my parents realized how much fun they were still having without me around, they would be okay with me staying at home.
“Okay sweetie! I understand. When you’re ready to come back, you can just drive your Jeep back up. Okay?” she said.
We said our goodbyes, but before she hung up the phone she left me with one last bit of advice. “Paige, you should hear him out before you go. It will help you heal faster, knowing the truth.” We ended the call on that note and I knew that although she was right, my heart couldn’t take it.
I went into the bathroom to get myself together. After a few minutes of splashing cold water on my face, followed by a little make-up, I was finally half-way presentable. The tears had momentarily subsided and were being replaced by anger. I was angry that Travis had lied to me and that I had fallen for it. I was angry that he had let things go so far between us. I was angry at myself for not questioning him sooner about keeping us a secret. But mostly, I was angry at myself for falling SO HARD, SO FAST. Once I looked more like myself, I gave a quick glance around the room to make sure the girls had packed all of my things before I made my exit. I just needed to say goodbye to everyone, well almost everyone, and then find my friends to leave.