Blaze knew it.
It didn’t matter what happened in the club. Benicio might be a good man, but it didn’t matter if we worked for him. Hell, even if we went legit, it wouldn't matter.
I couldn’t go back to it.
Killing my father’s and April’s murderers was righteous act. But if I stayed, I would have to do it again. It was inevitable.
And if something happened to June, I didn’t want to imagine what I would do, the depths I would descend to protect her.
“No,” I said. “We can’t stay. It’s over. I can’t be part of it anymore.”
Blaze nodded. “I didn’t expect it.” He was silent for a while. “Crunch is going back to Puerto Rico, taking MacKenzie.”
“It’s not the best life for her.”
Blaze shook his head. “Dani understands that, more than anyone.”
Dani would, I thought, growing up in a crime family, her own mother murdered when she was only fourteen.
I looked up as Dani and June joined us.
“It was a nice ceremony,” Dani said, sliding her arm around Blaze.
“It was,” I agreed.
Silence fell over the group as we stood there. After so much had happened, there was nothing left to say.
Crunch joined us, holding MacKenzie in his arms. The rims of his eyes were red, and his skin was ashen, his cheeks sunken. It had only been a few days, but he looked hollow, a shell of a man.
He looked broken.
I think all of us looked that way.
"Hi Uncle Axe," MacKenzie said shyly, not moving her head from her place on her dad's shoulder.
"Hey MacKenzie," I said.
"We're going to visit my grandma's house," she said. "My mommy isn't going with us. Daddy said she needs to rest for a while."
I swallowed hard, and looked at June, who was clearly blinking back tears.
"No, baby," Crunch said. His voice cracked, and I thought he was going to break right there. "Mommy's not going with us."
"Hey, Mac," June said, her voice falsely bright. "Can I see your stuffed animal?"
"It's a jaguar," MacKenzie said, smiling. "Put me down, daddy." She ran over to June, and I heard June and Dani begin to pepper her with questions.
Crunch spoke to me, his voice low. "We're going to take off for a while."
"Yeah, that's what I heard," I said. "June and I are going back to Colorado." I nearly said, you're welcome anytime, but stopped myself. I was sure he never wanted to set foot in the state again, after what had happened there. I was the opposite-it was the only place I wanted to be. I needed to lay my father to rest.
I needed to lay my own demons to rest.
SALVATION
West Bend, Colorado
Three Years Later
June
"Be careful, swinging him up in the air like that!" I called from the front porch, watching Cade lift little Stan up in the air and hearing him squeal with delight. "He's only eighteen months-you can't go too high!"
Cade carried little Stan back to the porch, and set him down. He toddled around, mostly stable but not entirely, still giggling. Bailey followed him, always loyal, but mostly looking for abandoned snacks. Cade wrapped his arms around me, around my belly.
"I don't remember you being this anxious the last time you were pregnant," he said.
I leaned my head back against him. "We didn't have a toddler for you to throw around last time."
"No, we didn't," he said. "How's the momma-to-be feeling?"
"Tired," I said. "But happy."
Looking out across the property, to my old house, the one we'd turned into a bed and breakfast, I thought, Stan would have liked this, knowing that Cade had come back here, that we were raising our kids in the home where he'd raised Cade. Keeping the old ranch alive.
"What are you thinking?" Cade asked, his voice low.
"Nothing," I said. "Just that your dad would have liked all of this."
"He'd have loved little Stan," Cade said.
I nodded. "He'd be so proud of you, too, with the bike shop and everything." The bed and breakfast had done so well, with the influx of ski tourists the past two winters, that we'd been able to open a custom bike shop in town, and Cade had gotten to start doing what he loved. It didn't pay much, but it was good for him.
"Do you ever regret not going back to California?" I asked him. "Regret not being a part of the club anymore?" Guys were bringing their bikes to him from hours away, and Cade was getting a reputation for doing good custom paint jobs, but I sometimes wondered if hanging around those guys just made him wish he was back with the MC.
"No," he said. "I'm pretty barn sour now."
"What?" I asked, turning toward him, my protruding belly in the way. I leaned over to pick up Stan, and he patted his hand on Cade's face, intrigued by his stubble. "What do you mean?"
"You and that little man right there are my home," he said. "I feel the way horses get, when they're barn sour and they don't want to leave the barn. I don't want to leave you guys. I know where I belong."
Axe
Everything was quiet, with my wife and child both napping.
My wife and child.