Illusions of Love

chapter 31



‘You can’t just go barging on in there, Reece, not with the amount of press and paparazzi still hanging around.’

‘So, you tell me that Michael Walsh raped my daughter – something she didn’t feel she could tell me…’

‘For good reason, Reece.’

‘Oh, you think so? You think it was for the best that she kept something so important from me for all these years?’

‘Yes, I do. I do, alright? Because if she’d told you, you’d have reacted exactly like this, going in there all guns blazing…’

‘And what the hell do you expect me to do, Martha? Sit back and forget what you’ve just told me? I’m her father. She should have come to me…’

‘She dealt with it in a way she felt was best, Reece. She put Ethan first, she did everything she could to make sure that little boy still had a dad... She dealt with it.’

‘She dealt with it? You really think that, do you? Shit!’ He pushed a hand through his hair, turning away from her for a second as he began to pace the floor. ‘Everything makes so much more sense now, y’know?’ He turned back to face Martha, trying really hard to keep his feelings under control but it was becoming increasingly difficult. ‘All those years she spent shutting him out of her life, then everything that happened after she saw him again, after all that time… It all suddenly makes sense. And I had no f*cking idea…’

‘She did it to protect you, Reece. And to protect Ethan, especially to protect Ethan, you have to know that.’

He leant back against the wall, briefly staring up at the ceiling, sighing heavily as he looked at his wife. Martha’s face was full of anxiety and he knew that was because she’d be worried about what he might do next, concerned about how he must be feeling after hearing news that would knock any father for six. ‘She never dealt with it at all, Martha. She might think she has, but she hasn’t. Now it’s so obvious why her marriage to Joseph didn’t work out… Jesus! And now she’s involved with Michael’s f*cking son!’

‘Reece, baby, come on. None of this is Dominic’s fault. He had no idea Michael was his father until a few months ago, and he has no idea what Michael did to India.’

‘She hasn’t told him?’

Martha shook her head.

‘But she told Kenny, am I right?’

‘And JJ,’ Martha whispered.

Reece looked down at the ground. He wasn’t surprised. He’d always known those two had been privy to information that he never had been. ‘I can’t let this go, Martha.’

He felt her touch his arm and he looked up, tears suddenly filling his eyes.

‘He raped my baby. He did that to her… How am I supposed to deal with that?’

Martha took his hand, squeezing it gently. ‘I don’t know, my darling. But for India’s sake you have to think about this, you have to think about her…’

Reece shook his head, fresh anger rising up inside him. ‘No. No, I need to talk to him…’

‘Reece!’

But it was no good. Michael Walsh had hurt his daughter in a way even Reece hadn’t thought possible, and he couldn’t just sit around and let that go. Someone had to pay for that, and Reece was determined that someone wouldn’t be India.



***



Vince was tired. He was tired, and he was missing Vegas. Missing Charley. Missing Lily, his gorgeous little girl who was just the perfect mix of himself and his beautiful English wife. A little girl who was, thankfully, far too young to understand just what the hell was going on in her mom’s life right now.

He’d spent the past few days trying to smooth things over at the Beverly Hills branch of Charley’s because poor Saskia just hadn’t been able to deal with everything by herself. But Charley wasn’t really in the position to come back to L.A. and sort things out, not when a lot of their more well-heeled clients seemed to think that she was the problem.

As far as their celebrity clientele were concerned, however, nothing had changed there. In fact, Saskia had informed him that, if anything, the list of celebrities wishing to make Charley’s their salon of choice had almost doubled. It was the rich women of Beverly Hills and Bel Air that appeared to have the biggest problem with having their hair styled by an ex-porn star. Although, Vince suspected, that was probably because, for a lot of them, it was digging up pasts that some may consider just a little too close to home. Not all of the rich and beautiful housewives who passed through Charley’s doors had been born into the lifestyle they were now very much accustomed to. A lot of them had just married the right man. A lot of them had pasts they’d rather not be reminded of, and maybe being so close to someone they could identify just a little too much with made their weekly salon visits a touch too uncomfortable now.

But not everyone was being so unsupportive. Since Vince had been here he’d experienced a lot of support for Charley, a lot of people asking how she was, how was she coping, when was she coming back? A great many people were choosing to ignore everything that was going on in the press, considering it to be something that should stay where it belonged – in the past. But there were still some that would rather Charley’s chose a different location.

But Vince was a natural charmer; people loved the warmth he radiated, the way he could make people feel at ease just by smiling at them. It wasn’t something he had to try hard to create, it was just the way he was. So, thankfully, after just a couple of days in L.A., he knew he could leave Charley’s @ Beverly Hills behind, safe in the knowledge that, for now at least, Charley’s business was weathering the storm. And he could head back to Vegas to make sure everything was just as it should be there, too.

Because this wasn’t over, not by a long shot, and Vince was smart enough to realise that. He still wasn’t exactly sure what Jimmy Cash was hoping to achieve in the long run, and he still didn’t think Charley was coping half as well as she might think she was, so he needed to get back to Vegas.

Because he wanted to be the one who was there for her should this thing get out of hand – and right now, he wasn’t completely certain that he was the only one Charley was turning to.



***



‘What are you doing?’ India asked, watching Dominic as he shuffled from foot to foot, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans as they both leant back against the wall outside the imposing entrance of The Amber Palace, waiting for filming to start.

They were shooting scenes outside the hotel that morning, which meant closing the main entrance for a couple of hours, but already a crowd was forming around the set perimeters, gathering to watch another day in the life of movie stars whose real lives were way more complicated than any movie script. And India suspected that’s what people were really there to see.

Dominic turned to look at her. ‘I’m not doing anything.’

She continued to stare at him. ‘Yeah. You are. You look nervous. What have you done?’

He laughed, pushing his unruly dark brown hair back off his face, away from those amazing blue eyes. ‘I haven’t done anything. What is wrong with you?’

‘Believe me, when you’ve had the life I’ve had you can’t help being suspicious.’

‘I’m making you suspicious?’ Dominic laughed, moving round so he faced her, placing one hand on the wall beside her head, staring deep into her eyes. How come he’d never really noticed her before all of this crap had thrown them together? It wasn’t like they hadn’t been to the same parties, the same award ceremonies, the same premieres. He guessed he’d been too busy playing Movie Star Playboy and she’d been too wrapped up in whatever shit his new-found father had been putting her through.

‘Yeah, Mr Movie Star. You’re making me suspicious.’

‘Was I making you suspicious earlier this morning? When I was ever-so-softly kissing your neck, stroking your skin… making you crazy with my tongue…’

‘Dominic… Jesus, we’ve got an audience here, y’know.’

He gently touched her cheek, running his fingers down over her neck, her bare shoulders, all the time staring right into her eyes and it was all she could do not to have him right there and then, regardless of who was watching. They’d almost had sex in full view of a camera crew, after all, and anyone who saw this movie in its finished form was now more than likely going to see that very scene. What was the point in being shy anymore?

‘Audiences turn me on, baby, you know that,’ he smiled, that killer smile, that smile that always got her. That movie star smile that lit up his unbelievably handsome face.

She grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him gently, falling against him as the clicking of cameras once more filled the air, every tourist and photographer in the vicinity seizing another opportunity to grab themselves another picture of this new, exciting Hollywood pairing as they turned their on-screen romance into an off-screen reality. Although, maybe they shouldn’t have been doing it quite so publicly. She, more than anyone, should know better.

‘We shouldn’t be doing this,’ India whispered, pulling away slightly as reality, and a sprinkling of common sense, finally hit her. Looking over Dominic’s shoulder her stomach sank at the barrage of photographers lining the barriers at the side of the set, every single one focused on the two of them, all of them yelling questions at her about Michael, about her relationship with Dominic, even about Charley. ‘We should know better. We’re grown ups, not a couple of infatuated kids.’

‘Being grown up is overrated.’ Dominic didn’t take his eyes off her. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to, he just wanted to stay looking at her forever. She was fast becoming his world and it was a feeling he wasn’t used to, but one he was willing to experience if it meant he could spend every morning waking up beside her, every day making love with her. His father’s ex-wife – but he could live with that. He could live with anything, as long as he had her by his side.

‘There! You’re doing it again!’

‘Doing what?’ Dominic asked, shaking himself back to reality, sliding an arm around her waist, pulling her back against him.

‘Looking like you’re about to say something, and that makes me nervous.’

He smiled, but not the full-on movie star smile. He didn’t always need to keep pulling that one out of the bag. Not anymore. He was learning to leave it behind when it wasn’t always necessary. ‘I just want to tell you that I love you, India Walsh. That’s all.’

‘That’s all?’ she smiled, playing with the collar of his shirt.

‘That’s all,’ he whispered, moving in for another long, slow kiss. Just the touch of her open mouth on his made him feel like nothing else mattered, and it didn’t, not really. None of it did. Even the fact that she hadn’t yet told him she loved him too, it didn’t matter, because he was confident that, one day, she would tell him. One day soon. ‘Actually, maybe there is something else I want to say to you.’

‘Oh yeah?’ she asked, her mouth still so close to his as she spoke. ‘What’s that then?’

He tucked a strand of her long blond hair back behind her ear, searching her face for a reason why he shouldn’t ask her what he’d been planning to ask her all morning. That’s why he’d been nervous, why he’d maybe acted a little odd in her eyes. So, was now the right time?

He was also acutely aware of the cameras still clicking away in the background, of the questions being shouted at them from the sidelines. No. This really wasn’t the right time. They’d given everyone enough of a show already.

He smiled again, running his thumb gently over her mouth before kissing her once more. ‘It can wait.’

And it could. It could wait. He just didn’t want to wait too long to make sure that his father had no chance whatsoever of ever winning her back.



***



‘See? You don’t stand a chance, Michael,’ Layla said, looking over towards India and Dominic who were openly engaged in a possibly-much-too-public kiss, their relationship now quite obviously exposed to the world. ‘Deal with it. It’s over.’

Michael followed Layla’s gaze, his stomach lurching as he watched Dominic pull India closer, smiling at her as she laughed in his arms, happier than he’d seen her in a long time. But no, Layla was wrong. It would never be over. Ever.

‘If you’ll excuse me, Layla, I have a movie to finish shooting.’

Layla watched as he began to stride purposefully over towards the hotel entrance, where India and Dominic were standing. ‘Michael…’

He stopped for a second before turning round to look at her.

‘Just move on, please. For your own sake. She doesn’t love you anymore, can’t you see that? But I do, Michael. I do.’

He looked at her for a few seconds more before turning back around, continuing to walk over to his two leading actors, who were creating far more fuss on the set that morning than he particularly wanted. Things were crazy enough without his ex-wife and his surprise of a son carrying on for all the world to see. He just wanted to get this movie wrapped and get back to L.A., and this wasn’t helping to speed up that process.

‘Can we get a little professionalism round here, please?’ Michael watched as Dominic pulled away from India, turning to look at him. ‘Don’t you think we’ve got enough media attention focused on us? You’re not a couple of hormone-driven teenagers, so start acting like the adults you’re supposed to be, and the professional actors I hired.’

Dominic fixed him with a stare, blue eyes locking onto blue eyes as he slowly shook his head, squeezing India’s hand, whispering in her ear before walking away. India watched him go, folding her arms as she turned back to Michael.

‘There wasn’t really any need for that, was there?’

Michael briefly removed his cap, pushing a hand through his hair before replacing the cap firmly back on his head, looking away for a second before meeting her eyes. ‘We’re on a movie set, honey. Save that crap for the bedroom.’

‘You know, when I first arrived in Vegas to do this movie I really thought you’d changed. That night in the bar, that first night here, I thought we were finally moving on, finally learning to deal with everything. But you can’t do it, can you? You can’t leave it alone.’

‘A lot’s happened since we first arrived, India. I’ve suddenly gained a son I never knew I had, and I’m still getting my head around that. And you, of all people, should know just how confusing it can be to suddenly discover a family member you had no idea existed.’ His eyes met hers again, and for a brief, fleeting second a barrage of memories flooded her head. Times when this man had been the most important person in her world. Times when she’d loved him more than she’d ever loved anyone before. Times before the pain and the hurt he’d caused her. Before he’d turned her world upside down.

‘Of course I can understand how you’re feeling,’ she said quietly, turning away from him, focusing on the goings-on in front of her instead, watching as Dominic took a few minutes to chat to some of the growing crowd, shaking hands and kissing cheeks. ‘I can’t imagine this is easy for you.’

‘You didn’t have to make it harder by sleeping with him.’

She turned her head sharply to look at him again, her arms still folded against her. A defence mechanism? Probably. Where Michael was concerned she’d always feel the need to keep that safe distance, to stop him from getting too close. ‘Like I said, Michael, you just can’t leave it alone, can you?’

Pushing past him she walked away from the entrance, away from Michael, back over to Dominic. Michael watched as this man he still couldn’t get used to thinking of as his son slid an arm protectively round her waist, pulling her in against him as he quickly kissed her, whispering something in her ear that made her laugh out loud. She was right. He couldn’t leave it alone. He never would. How could he? When everything he did still revolved around her. But maybe Layla was right too – maybe he had to at least try and move on. And as he turned to look at the woman who was giving him a chance to do just that, he felt nothing but a crushing sense of déjà vu.



***



Kenny had no idea why he was in Vegas anymore. India was too wrapped up in Dominic to care about spending time with him, so why else did he need to stick around? When she was the main reason he’d come here in the first place.

Strolling aimlessly through the Amber Palace casino, already busy with the morning’s quota of tourists mixing with those that had probably been there since last night, still trying to win back whatever amount they’d lost, he thought about the stories some of these people could tell. Because there had to be people out there whose lives were crazier than his. A dozen or more movie scripts were probably hanging around that casino, amongst that strange mix of high rollers and housewives.

Hands stuffed deep in his pockets, his eyes very much focused on the ground, he headed into The Pool View Diner, hoping more than anything that he could go unrecognised today, because the last thing he was in the mood for was having to make small talk with people. He would, if he had to, because that’s what Kenny did. Being recognised was all part of the package but today, well, today he just didn’t feel much like being sociable. What he felt like doing was turning the clock back nearly twenty years to the day when a young and beautiful girl from the North East of England had walked through the door of that small screen-test room on a studio sound stage in Hollywood – he wanted to go back there, and do a million things differently.

He slipped into a window booth, briefly taking in the view of the pool outside as it filled up with tourists and those that wanted a day with nothing to do but catch some sun and chill out, turning to smile his thanks at the pretty waitress who quickly filled his cup with fresh coffee, smiled back, then left him alone with his thoughts. Thoughts Kenny wasn’t all that keen on being left alone with, if he was honest.

He turned back to look outside, watching as the pool seemed to grow more crowded by the second, the sun loungers rapidly becoming occupied by people of all shapes and sizes, all having fun in this city that provided just that and more, twenty four hours a day. But he wasn’t exactly having fun himself right now. All he seemed to be experiencing was a major headache, a ton of guilt, and feelings he’d been trying to kick for almost twenty years that just refused to go away.

He sat back in the booth and pushed a hand through his hair, taking a quick sip of far-too-hot coffee. He’d just left Charley, and a situation he’d promised himself he wouldn’t return to. They’d let it happen once, but they’d both been adamant it wouldn’t happen again, yet it had. Just now. Upstairs in his apartment. Two weak people clinging onto each other because neither of them was brave enough to face their own realities head on. But she needed him, and he needed her, although their reasons for needing each other were both dangerous and dubious, and once again Kenny Ross was playing with fire. But he was used to getting his fingers burnt, so he knew that – despite the guilt and the feelings of doubt that still ran riot inside his head – he wasn’t going to step back from whatever it was he’d just walked into. Because he still needed the distraction it was giving him. Even if that distraction was both dangerous, and very, very wrong.



***



Charley hoped she wasn’t going to be disturbed today. She’d shut herself away in her office in the salon with strict instructions to her staff to bother her for no reason other than an emergency, because she just didn’t feel much like socialising. She didn’t feel much like working, either, but she’d given herself no choice. She’d really just wanted to hide away in her and Vince’s apartment and escape all the crap with a day of non-stop reality TV, a day of watching other peoples’ problems unfold and other peoples’ lives unravel, but she had so much paperwork to get through, thanks to her neglect of the salon lately. She was so lucky Vince had sorted everything out over in the Beverly Hills branch of Charley’s because she just wasn’t sure when she could face going back there. If she ever could. Even though he’d told her there was nothing to worry about she still didn’t know if she’d ever be able to face many of her clients ever again.

Thinking about Vince brought a fresh wave of guilt crashing over her that almost took her breath away. Closing her eyes she sat back in her chair and threw her head back, pushing her hands through her long, dark curls. She loved Vince, she loved him more than she could ever begin to explain, and it was still something she herself couldn’t understand, this reason why she just couldn’t seem to open up to him about all of this. But she couldn’t. She found it easier to keep that distance between them, as far as the subject of Jimmy was concerned. She found it easier to pretend she was coping, even though she was so far from that. But with Kenny – with Kenny, it was different. She could talk to him; she could tell him everything that was going on in her head, things she just couldn’t tell Vince. And she had no idea why, she only knew that with Kenny she could somehow escape all the crap and disappear into a world of distraction that took her mind off all the fear she was still feeling, even if it was only for a couple of hours, a few minutes, she didn’t care. As long as she got that distraction, she was happy. Relaxed. Able to deal with everything that little bit better. Even if it was the most dangerous thing she could do, because to put her marriage to Vince in jeopardy like this wasn’t something she should even be considering. She shouldn’t be going anywhere near Kenny Ross, not like this. But she couldn’t walk away either.

She couldn’t walk away. And that only made Charley a hundred times more scared than she already was.



***



Reece felt as though some kind of black cloud had descended over him, tinged with that red mist of anger that cut through it – and him – like a knife, his head spinning with the overload of information he’d had to take in. Michael Walsh had raped his daughter, and Martha just expected him to take that and leave it alone? Just because India had, supposedly, dealt with it? But he hadn’t. He’d only just heard about an event that may well have happened over six years ago, but as far as he was concerned it was as new and as fresh in his mind as if it had happened yesterday.

India had been tainted by something she may think she’d come to terms with, but she hadn’t. Look at the years that had passed since her divorce from Michael. Despite the early signs that she may have found the right man in JJ Foster to settle down with and finally move forward, a chance to put Michael Walsh behind her, that just hadn’t happened. And Reece knew why. The hold Michael Walsh had over his daughter would never be loosened, its grip would always be there, constant and threatening, but Reece had had enough. He couldn’t just sit back and pretend he hadn’t heard what Martha had told him. What kind of a father would that make him?

Almost running through the lobby of The Amber Palace, he was gripped with nothing but a determination to finally face the man who refused to take a step back from a woman he just didn’t deserve to have in his life, not after what he’d done. He didn’t deserve to go near her again, and if Reece had anything to do with it this movie would be the last close contact his daughter ever had with Michael Walsh. And maybe he wasn’t being entirely rational here, after all, his thinking was all over the place. He was angry and tired and allowing years of pent-up frustration to come tumbling out all at once, but he didn’t care. He’d had it with sitting back and letting everything happen around him. It was about time he took control again, and sorted this once and for all.

As the huge glass doors that graced the main entrance of The Amber Palace slid open he stepped out of the welcoming cool of the air conditioning and into the breathtaking heat of a stifling Vegas mid-morning, standing still for a few seconds only to catch his breath, his hands on his hips as he inhaled deeply, looking around him, gathering his bearings, scanning the busy scenes in front of him as filming continued out on the street opposite.

India was standing on the sidelines, watching Dominic shooting a scene. Her arms were folded, her eyes never leaving the new man in her life, despite the old one being not a few steps away from her. And just the sight of Michael Walsh – knowing what he knew now – only served to send another wave of anger flooding through Reece’s body as all rational thought left him, leaving him with nothing but tunnel vision and just one endgame in sight. To get to the man who’d hurt his daughter.

So there wasn’t time to take another deep breath, or to maybe stop and think about whether or not this was the right thing to be doing, there wasn’t time for any of that. All Reece could focus on was getting to Michael, that’s all he had in his sights, nothing else mattered anymore.

So he didn’t hear the car screeching round the corner, so fast there was almost smoke coming off its tyres. He didn’t have time to register the fact it had driven straight through the barrier that had cordoned off the street from the movie set, so he had no time to think about moving out of its path. He didn’t have time. He just didn’t have time…