His eyes search mine for a minute, and then he smiles his crooked smile. “You have no idea how beautiful you are.” He kisses my lips so softly, gently, sincerely. “I love you, Lexi.”
I get lost in this moment, watching him, watching his emotions, watching his chest move with every breath. Taking the hem of his t-shirt in my fists, I tug it loose from his pants, yank it over his head, and toss it behind me. Zeus growls. I twist around to find the shirt has landed on Zeus’s back. He whines and then lays his head back down, unwilling to toss Cole’s shirt off. Up until now, I totally forgot he was even there.
Cole doesn’t waste any time. His warm lips meet mine. He tangles his fingers in my hair as he pulls my head to the side, kissing every inch between my chin and shoulders. When his lips meet my ear, I listen to his heavy breathing, and a moan leaks out of my mouth.
“You’re so warm,” he says against my skin.
“Warm but filthy,” I say.
“Isn’t that the truth. But I think we’re used to that by now.”
I run my hands over his skin, his muscles rippling beneath them. Then, I slide my fingers across his hard shoulders and down his defined arms. But it’s his chest, oh my lord his chest, that drives me wild. It looks like it was chiseled into perfection. Cole lies flat on his back, and I remain on top of him, sitting just above his belt. My heart’s beating so fast I couldn’t count the beats even if I wanted to. A smile slowly stretches across his face. I relax my body and soak up the feel of him.
For a minute, I’m still, just staring down at him. When I move my hands again, his stomach starts to quiver. Emotion and pleasure overtakes him. I lean down to kiss his parted lips, and he wraps his hands around my head, crushing our lips together. Our mouths open together, and his tongue grazes mine, our kiss intensifying with each moment. He groans the second I pull away to catch my breath, sucking air into his lungs too.
Slowly I slide my hips down till I’m resting on his thighs, and just to make sure I’m not dreaming, I drop my ear to his heart and listen to his fast but steady heartbeat.
“I’m real,” he says. “And I’m yours.” He strokes my hair, and I feel my body flood with warmth, from top to bottom.
“Can you sit up for me?” he asks softly.
I do what he asks. Cole winks at me, and suddenly my knees loosen and I’m weak all over. He takes my head between his hands and brings my mouth back to his, and without breaking our kiss, I feel him unhook my bra. One by one, he brings the straps down to my wrists, and I allow him to remove it completely. I’m nervous, and I’m alive and terrified at the same time.
What if they find us, here, like this? What if we’re seconds away from another spray of bullets? I tense up, trembling all over.
“Let me love you,” he breaths into my mouth. His words make me lightheaded, and I close my eyes. He kisses the tip of my nose, my eyelids, and my forehead.
Cole gently rolls me onto my back, straddles my hips, and leans over on top of me. He lowers his head to mine, and I can’t wait for him to kiss me again. But he suddenly stops an inch from my face and stares into my eyes. His eyes seem to shine, and I’m lost in their pools of darkness. His long, thick eyelashes are beautiful, and I watch them as he blinks.
“I’m out of my mind,” he says.
“Me too. Come closer, and we can lose our minds together,” I say. But he’s already moving away from me, catching me off guard. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, his hands on either side of his face, and sits up and away from me. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I just … don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He won’t look at me now.
I sit up, retrieve my shirt from Zeus’s snoring figure, and cover myself with it while searching for my bra. “If this is about the past, I already told you, there’s nothing you could’ve done to make me love you less.”
“Don’t say that. Not until you know everything I’ve done.” He glances in my direction, his eyes glazed over. I feel myself go rigid.
“How am I supposed to take that?” I ask. He drags his shirt back on, his hands trembling and his expression unreadable. “Stop,” I say while putting my hand on his arm, but he doesn’t stop. “Please, just talk to me … ”
“I thought I could forget who I used to be. I thought I could atone for the past, but being here brings back a lot of memories.” His once warm voice turns bitter. “The Sinners are right; I’ll always be a guard, and they’ll never let me forget it.”
“What are you saying? You’re not even close to the same person you were before.” I can’t help raising my voice as he stands up, and his hands ball into fists. I find my bra tangled on the floor and put it on, embarrassed.
“Lexi, I’m saying I will never, ever deserve you.” His voice breaks.
“Stop, please, you’re scaring me.”
“Cole.” Bruno’s voice cuts through the tension before I have a chance to respond. He peeks through the thin curtain, and I scramble to put my shirt on.