Hold On

“You remember that conversation we had not too long ago about you growin’ up and me needin’ to have a mind to that?” I asked back.

He slouched in his chair, fleeting panic racing across his face as he said, “God, Dad. What’d he do now?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, kid, it’s not your dad. I haven’t heard from your dad since all that went down on the front walk. And like I said then, your dad is not gonna do anything you don’t want him to do, I’ll see to that. But I do have something to talk to you about, and it’ll require me trusting that you actually are growin’ up and I can tell you what’s gotta happen. Then we can talk it out however you need to do that.”

He came right out of his slump, straightening his shoulders and keeping eye contact.

My little man.

“Hit me,” he ordered.

I wanted to laugh or at least grin, but he was being serious and I had to give him that.

“Right, okay, you know that guy who lives down the way that gives off a bad vibe, the one who was bangin’ on Tilly’s door?”

Ethan nodded.

“Well, somethin’ is goin’ down. I don’t know a lot about it, but Merry doesn’t have a good feeling about him and he’s a cop, so his feelings are usually smart to pay attention to. Until he figures out what’s going down, he wants us to stay with him. So, today, we’re goin’ to his place where we’re gonna stay for a while.”

Ethan just sat there.

I did too.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“Well, yeah,” I answered.

He went back to eating, but before shoveling in another load of egg mush, he muttered, “Cool.”

Cool?

“Uh, is that it?” I asked his question.

He looked to me. “Is what it?”

“Do you have any questions?”

“Like what?”

“Like, how long we’re staying with Merry? And the answer to that is, I don’t know, but hopefully not long. Just until that’s sorted.”

“Okay,” Ethan said, then went back to his bowl.

I stared at the top of his head.

Then I asked, “Are you worried about anything?”

He looked at me again. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Anything,” I told him. “Merry and me haven’t been seein’ each other very long, but this isn’t like we’re moving in with him. And that guy freaked you out. I don’t want you to hold back if something’s bothering you or you have a question you want answered.”

Ethan tipped his head to the side. “Are you and Merry dating?”

I thought that was a weird question because he knew the answer.

Still, I gave him that answer. “Yeah.”

“No, Mom. I mean, are you dating or are you boyfriend and girlfriend?”

It kind of freaked me out my ten-almost-eleven-year-old son knew the difference.

I couldn’t focus on that right then. I had to focus on his question.

Merry and me hadn’t officially had the conversation, but I did feel it was accurate to answer, “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“So, that guy is bad news. Merry heard about him. His woman is livin’ on the same street, and we’re movin’ in with him until he deals with it,” Ethan declared. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just Merry.”

I stared at my kid again.

Ethan must have misinterpreted my stare because he went on to explain, “If that guy lived close to Feb before Colt married her, Feb would move in with Colt. Same with Vi and Cal. Merry’s like them. So…” He shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Whatever?” I asked.

My son didn’t elucidate.

He asked, “Does Merry have a nice place?”

I told him the truth.

“No. It sucks.”

“Bummer,” he muttered.

“It has a decent TV,” I shared.

Ethan shoveled egg mush in his mouth and asked through it, “Can we take the Xbox?”

“That and a skillet,” I confirmed.

Ethan mouth scrunched to the side in confusion. “A skillet?”

“Merry’s been more interested in riding his Harley and catching bad guys than buying a decent skillet.”

Ethan grinned an egg-saltine-salt-and-pepper-mush grin.

My little man but still my boy.

God, I had the awesomest kid in the universe.