Hold On

His left hand slid to my back as his right one put pressure on.

My voice was weird, small, and trembling, as I admitted, “I’m givin’ up a morning. She’s gettin’ him to school.”

“You’re givin’ up a morning with your kid…for me.” He said that, and the way he said it, I knew he knew how big that was for me.

Then again, I’d already taught him that lesson the hard way.

“So I got my brown-eyed girl all night,” he murmured, his eyes falling to my mouth.

I slid a hand up to his neck and his eyes came back to mine.

With the movement of my hand, I meant to delay. I meant to get his attention. I meant to do this so I could say something.

But when he looked at me after the night he’d given me, and he’d already given me so much that I’d never had—taking me to a swish restaurant, telling me I looked phenomenal, kissing my hand in his truck, laying things out for me honestly, making me laugh, laughing with me—I couldn’t say what I needed to say. I couldn’t tell him how much this meant to me. I couldn’t tell him I was the kind of girl who’d never dreamed because, even when I was little, I always knew I was the kind of girl who’d be stupid to dream.

I could never tell him that standing right there in his arms, in his personality-less living room, it was a dream I’d never dared to dream come true.

I couldn’t tell him that.

So I said, “Thanks for dinner.”

I watched something move through his blue eyes. Something beautiful. Something I instantly wanted the power to rewind life so I could hit pause and stare at it for as long as I pleased.

“You’re welcome, Cherie,” he whispered.

I stared in his eyes.

God, did he know?

Did he know that he was the dream come true a girl like me would never dare to dream?

I kept staring into his eyes, trying to see if that was the case, as I slid my hand up so I could stroke his jaw with my thumb.

He let me.

Then he shared he wanted other things.

“Wanna kiss you, honey.”

“Then kiss me, Merry.”

“No.”

I felt my head give a slight twitch.

“No?” I asked.

“No,” he repeated. “Need you to get this, Cher. I wanna kiss you. But right now, I wanna kiss you because you’re standin’ in my arms, lookin’ up at me the way you’re lookin’ up at me. I definitely wanna kiss the girl who loves to make me laugh. And I wanna kiss the girl who put that dress on for me. I also wanna kiss you because after I kiss you, I’m gonna take you to my bed and I’m gonna fuck you. But you need to know, in this instant, I wanna kiss you because you’re the girl you are right now, the way you are right now, lookin’ up at me.”

Oh God.

I wasn’t hiding anything.

He knew.

“Merry,” I whispered.

He bent his head and slid his nose down the side of mine, his lips a breath away, his blue eyes becoming my whole world.

“Wanna kiss you,” he whispered back.

God, God…Merry.

“Then kiss me, baby.”

I lost his eyes as he angled his head and kissed me.

It wasn’t hard and rough and demanding, pushing me to go where he wanted me to be.

It wasn’t soft and sweet and gushy, making our moment gooey instead of the beauty that it was.

It was wet and long and tender, the perfect kiss to end the perfect date with the perfect guy.

And when he lifted his head, I knew he was intent on keeping that perfect going when he let me go but took my hand and, without a word, walked me toward the hall that fed off his living room.

I followed him down the hall and into a dark room. I followed him through that dark room and I stopped with him, feeling his hand release mine.

He bent to turn on a light and I didn’t take anything in.

I noticed the bed and that was all there needed to be.

He was turned to me and he was shrugging off the jacket of his dark gray suit, fully exposing the electric-blue shirt underneath.

I knew what to give him. I knew what men wanted. I knew where to go, how to lead him there with me. I knew it better than anybody.