“Answer your father, Cadence,” Mom said. Surprisingly, she was no longer crying. She looked as pissed off as Dad.
“Yes.” I didn’t say that word. My brother did. And I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe he’d betray me like that.
“What?” Dad asked. He looked at Oliver.
“I . . . I knew Cadence was having sex with someone, but she wouldn’t tell me who,” he said.
“Shut up, Oliver,” I said.
“How did you know?” Mom asked.
“I overheard—”
“SHUT UP!” I screamed.
“She thought she was pregnant,” Oliver said.
I had one thought: I had to get out of the house. I was genuinely afraid of Dad’s reaction, and I needed to be somewhere safe. Somewhere with Mark.
Dad turned to me. “Is this true?”
I felt I had no choice, and spilled everything in that moment.
“I love him!” I cried. “I love him. I can’t help it. I fell in love with him. And he loves me. And it’s not your business what we do behind closed doors, and I’m sorry I’ve embarrassed you, but it’s got nothing to do with you.” I took a breath and continued. “No! That’s not true! It does have something to do with you. You don’t like me. You haven’t liked me since I got in trouble. You don’t show me love. You’re not there for me. But someone else was. He was there for me. And kind to me. And he showed me love.”
“He took advantage of you, Cadence!” Dad yelled. “Do you not see that? He used you because he saw an easy target!”
“That’s not true!” I shot back. “He didn’t take advantage of me. I wanted him as much as he wanted me! But I was an easy target. You’re right about that. And whose fault is that?”
Dad grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chair. He held me mere inches from his face.
“Don’t you dare act like a victim here! You broke the law. You went to jail. You embarrassed your family, and if you think for a moment you didn’t deserve all the punishment you got, then you’re a stupid girl, Cadence!”
Those words were more hurtful than what came after.
“You will never see him again,” Dad said. “And we’re pressing charges.”
My heart dropped. Charges? Charges for what? I didn’t understand.
“No!” I cried. “I love him! I want to be with him!”
“You don’t love him, Cadence. You cannot love a man who’s done that to you,” Mom said.
“Done what? He’s done nothing but show me love!” I screamed.
“Stop saying love!” Dad roared. “You don’t know what it is!”
“I do!” I cried. “I do, I do, I do. I love him. I love him. I love—”
I only felt the throb once my bottom hit the floor. I heard my mother scream in the background, but I couldn’t make out the words. My eyes were closed: one sealed shut from the blow and the other sealed shut from fear of what might happen next. I could feel the pulsing of my heart in my eye, beating hard and fast. I thought it might push out my eyeball, and I placed my hand over the wound to keep from losing my eye. My sight.
Mom hovered over me crying. She tried to help me up, but I pushed her away. I needed something for my eye. It was screaming in pain.
“Was Avery a part of this?” Dad asked.
I couldn’t believe that he continued interrogating me after he hit me. But I didn’t care what he did next. I would never tell on Avery.
“No.”
“Then why did Gracie say she was?”
“Because Gracie’s a little bitch,” I replied.
“Well, she was right about you,” Dad said. “I’ll have to call Avery’s parents.”
I said nothing. There was nothing I could do anyway except pray that Avery would forgive me for ruining her life. I should have been more careful at the movie theatre. I shouldn’t have fought with Mark in public.
I didn’t wait to be excused. My black eye earned me the right to leave without permission. It didn’t occur to me at the moment that Dad just gave me a card to play. I wouldn’t realize it until the following day.
Dad watched me rummage through the freezer for an icepack.
“Where’s your cell phone?” he asked.
I tensed, then slammed the freezer door. Why didn’t I pick up my bag?
“I don’t know,” I replied. I glanced at my book bag on the living room floor, and he saw. I sprinted as fast as I could, but he had already taken possession of the phone.
“Give it back!” I cried. It was excruciating feeling the tears course from my bruised eye.
“Go to your room,” Dad replied.
“I’m not a child!”
“GO TO YOUR ROOM!”
I bolted upstairs. I locked myself in my room, dug an old T-shirt out of my dresser drawer, and wrapped the icepack in it. I lay down and placed the icepack carefully on my eye, listening for the sounds of the final crescendo, the final push to a frantic, heart-pounding conclusion. Angry chord. Pulsing eye. And then nothing. Nothing but the stillness of my bedroom—the quiet throb of my old heart. It was dying, and I didn’t want to save it. I just lay there and listened to the uneven pounding. I listened as it faded away, like a drum line marching off into the distance. I didn’t know where it was going, and I didn’t want to follow it. That heart held the love I had for my family, and I didn’t love them anymore.
***
A light tapping. I didn’t move.
“Cadence.” I heard Oliver’s muffled voice through the door.
Silence.
“Please, Cadence. I wanna help,” he said so softly that I barely heard him.
I don’t know why I went to the door. I didn’t unlock it for him, though. I just stood with my ear pressed against the door trying to get a better read on the tone in his words.
“Say it again,” I said.
“Huh?”
“What you just said to me. I couldn’t hear you.”
“I said I wanna help,” Oliver replied. He sounded apologetic.
“How?” I asked.
“I can’t say it through the door, Cadence. I don’t want Mom and Dad to hear. Will you please let me in?”
I stood still for a brief second. I wasn’t sure if it was a trick. I opened the door and he slid inside, locking us in.