“We weren’t.”
“Well, I saw you leave with him.”
“Yes. He walked me to my car. It was dark outside.”
Gracie continued, undeterred. “He was holding your hand, Cadence.”
I had nothing to say to that.
“Not to mention the fact that before he held your hand, you were having what sounded like a lovers’ spat.”
“A ‘lovers’ spat’?” I laughed. “Who says ‘lovers’ spat’?”
Gracie bristled. “You know, you used to like me, Cadence! You used to like the way I talked!”
“You’re right. I did. And then you decided to ditch me my senior year in favor of Sophia. I mean, what the hell, Gracie? You don’t even like her!”
“I like people who are loyal to me!”
“I was never not loyal to you!”
“You went to that party! You ditched me! I wasn’t cool enough for you!”
The tears exploded from Gracie’s eyes in a violent burst. She wanted me to see every one of them as she stared at me.
“I never thought you weren’t cool enough for me,” I said softly. “I made a mistake. A mistake! People make mistakes!”
Gracie wiped her face and took a deep breath.
“Don’t play it off like that, Cadence. You were looking for a reason to get rid of me. You didn’t want an unpopular friend anymore. It was easier for you to use that party as an excuse when you should have just been brave enough to tell me to my face that you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was deluded.
“Gracie, that’s not true at all.”
“The hell it’s not,” she spat, and I flinched.
She stopped crying, and I watched the contortions of her face. It passed through a gamut of emotions until it settled on anger. Vindictive anger.
“Anyway,” she said airily, “I saw your argument with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend the teacher. Your teacher. Your teacher boyfriend—”
“Stop it!”
“Oh, so you don’t deny it,” Gracie said. “Well, how could you? It was blatantly obvious.”
“What do you want?” I asked.
“What do I want?” she replied, and then she laughed. “I don’t want anything.”
“Then why did you feel the need to tell me you saw me at the movies?” I asked. I was starting to lose my patience.
Gracie cocked her head. “I just want you to know that I know.”
Her cryptic threat sent anger coursing through my veins.
“What do you want, Grace?”
I can’t remember the last time I called her “Grace.” It was what we termed her “grown-up” name when we were seven. Neither of us liked it; we liked “Gracie.”
“I want you to stop seeing him.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s sinful, Cadence.”
“Why do you even care? It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Of course it has something to do with me. As a Christian, it’s my duty to help you when I see you stumbling,” she said.
“I’m not stumbling,” I argued.
Gracie laughed disdainfully. “Oh, yes you are, Cadence. Big time. You’re seeing your teacher!”
“Shut up!” I hissed, and looked around the student parking lot. We were alone.
“I mean, first drugs. Then a robbery. Now a relationship with a teacher?” she asked. “Are you having sex with him?”
“Excuse me?” I asked. I was pissed. And offended.
“Well, that answered my question.”
“Leave it alone, Grace,” I spat. “I’m happy. Why can’t you just let me be happy?”
Gracie scowled. “The worst part of it is that Avery girl, I think. I knew she was trouble when she started attending youth group. It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. You two cover for each other so that you can go off and do whatever it is you do. All while pretending to be good, little Christians. You’re messed up.”
I turned and started walking towards my car.
“Don’t you walk away from me, Cadence!” Gracie screamed. “I’m telling your parents!”
I whirled around and came at her. It was instinct. Total instinct. I slapped her hard across the face, and she cried out.
“You fucking bitch!” I yelled. “Don’t you say a word!”
Gracie rubbed her cheek for a second then slapped the hell out of mine. I wasn’t prepared for it. I didn’t think she had the guts. The severity of the sting made my eyes water instantly.
“I hate you, Cadence!” she screeched, and she slapped me again.
I don’t know what it was that lay dormant in my heart all year, but it was ugly and vengeful and wicked. And I wanted to act on it. I wanted to be a straight-up fucking bitch.
I worked my jaw side to side, loosening all the words that were itching to pour out.
“What? You have a thing for my boyfriend?” I sneered. “Is that what this is all about?”
“Get over yourself,” Gracie snapped. “You’re crazy.”
“Am I?” I asked. I advanced on her, and she shrank back against her car. She looked like she wanted to slap me for a third time, but something about my facial expression changed her mind. She was afraid of me. “Because I think you wanna fuck my boyfriend.”
Gracie shook her head. I watched as fresh tears leaked from her eyes, and if I hadn’t turned into a monster, they would have affected me.
“You’re a jealous bitch because you want what I have. Well, guess what? You can’t. He doesn’t like you. He would never go for someone like you.” I leaned in, inches from her face. “He wants me. He’s fucking me,” I cooed. “And you’re gonna keep your fucking mouth shut about it.”
Gracie drew in her breath once I backed off. “Who are you?” she whispered.
I shook my head, stunned by my disgusting behavior.
“I don’t know.”
***
“Should I tell him?” I asked Avery over the phone.
The anxiety consumed me. I was only brave for the few moments I’d turned into my bizarre alter ego. Now I was back to normal Cadence who was terrified that Gracie would talk.
“What the hell kind of question is that?” Avery asked. “Of course you tell him. He has a right to know.”
“But I don’t know that she’d say anything,” I argued.
“Bullshit. You’ve known the girl for how long now?”